I am just fooling myself to the belief that after the break-up, we can still be bestfriends. Our relationship didn't start from bestfriends. Our closeness and bestfriends just blossomed as time goes by when we were dating. And maybe because of the bond or connection we had when we were kids. For her, she doesn't remember anything. As for me, I can remember them - her face, her height, her hair, the way she cries when her mom/dad leaves her, when we were watching Anime/cartoons in the afternoon - I remember everything. And it's hurting me, to the fact that I remember everything - our first meet, first date, when we went out of town then out of the country, etc.
My heart is hurting me but my mind hurts me more. If only I have the power to erase the memories I choose to, it will be easy for me to forget and move on.
Twice, she cheated on me. I still accepted her because I love her and I believe to the goodness of the people, that they can change - just like my mom used to tell me. Other people called me stupid, who cares?
I think it would be easy for her to move on. One, she was the one who broke up with me. Two, she still have bestfriends like Joe and Avi. ☺️ And I pray that they will not leave Cha no matter what.
As for me, I have friends. But I don't really have a bestfriend aside from her. Funny. ð Anyway, I used to be alone when I was a kid so it's not new. ð
Most of the times, the things that hurt us more are the memories we have. If bumping one head is surely a way to forget, I have already done it. ð
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She decided. I accepted it. In order for her to be happy, I have let her go. I love her and I want the best for her. I just have to acknowledge this sadness, accept everything, and move on. It's not easy and it will take more time for me, but it's okay.
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God, I am no longer praying for a human bestfriend. I might get hurt again in the future. ð What is bestfriend anyway?
Praying for my future wife? Still I am. It might take me 10 years but it's okay. I can adopt more pets if I want to. Their love is unconditional. That is why I love them. 𥰠Anyway, I don’t wanna think much about the future anymore. It sometimes drives me crazy and it can be source of disappointments. I don’t wanna expect anymore. #YOLO.
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Rove,
Just cry everything out. Pour it out until no tears left. You cannot force anyone to love you and be loyal and faithful to you. Always remember that loving someone means letting them go and only wish them the best. ð
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