People are wicked

If ever this current relationship will end, then I have to deal with myself being single for the next X years. Don't wanna deal with shitty people anymore like my ex.

Getting rich and successful should be my top priority. Only brain will work, nothing else. Then the people I should care are only my family especially Venice and my nieces/nephews.

Be successful.
Get rich.
Make my circle small.

"The right person never run away." Don't wanna give a damn. Stay single. No flirting.

That haunts me

God,

Please help me forget everything about my last ex. I don't wanna remember anything until the very last bit of memory I had with her. I've already moved on and only the memory that sometimes haunt me.

I don't wanna see her ever again.

I love my current partner and I'll make her my future wife. Yes, I used to dream of marrying my ex not until that very heartbreaking thing she has done to me.

Now, I guess I've found my right person and I wanna be loyal and faithful to her even in thoughts.

Thank you God for healing my broken heart last year. You know how much I was devastated that I even got sick. But you sent my right person to save me. And I thank you so much for it. I owe everything to you, even my life and future.

My right person, at last?

For 4.5 years, I was chasing the wrong person.
They say, the right person never run away.
I guess God has finally let me meet my right person. ☺️ I don't have to chase someone anymore. My current partner has never left me no matter how big our arguments were.

I love her. And hoping that she'll be the one I'm gonna marry.

I thank God for giving you to me, my love.

A miracle

I'm pretty sure di kami magtatagal nito. 😆
We are always arguing. Even on small conversations, there's always misunderstanding.
Our minds don't sync with each other. We don't think alike. Our humors differ. Our understanding of things differ.

She couldn't get what I say. The answers to my questions are always from another planet. 😆 It looks like this, "what's your age?" "I'm tall and pretty." 🤣

It would be a miracle if we'll last for another year. 😅

Can’t take it anymore…

Lord God,

Please help me. I think I'm already at the verge of killing myself. 😕

As you know, nagsabay sabay lahat ng gastusin ko nakaraan. Nahospital si Tiger and I already spent more or less 30k for his recovery including meds. Then almost 30k for moving out (rents, stuffs).

My salary is not even at par with my experience and performances for the previous years. I am almost hitting a 10 year work experience but my salary is just for 4-5 years experience.

Then the pressure I receive from work because PgM kept giving me tasks out of nowhere. Sometimes I would like to question, are these really PM role? 😆

Then these fanatic people who I think, ready to kill for the sake of their politicians. 😅

My anxiety keeps on elevating everytime there's a stressor. Sometimes, I couldn't take it anymore. As much as I would like to visit my psychiatrist again, I couldn't afford it. By December, I don't know anymore how to pay all the bills and eat at the same time. My forecasted financial for December is -50%. 😫

Because of these things, I'd rather choose to be gone permanently. 😶 Suicide is a selfish act but the easiest way out to peace.

——

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain to move over there and it will move."

"No problem is bigger than Him. Trust Him as He's the provider."

Sent from my iPhone

Hello my past relationship

Hey!

How are you doin? Just want to let you know that I thank you. Thank you for the love and lessons you've shared. We may haven't ended together but the valuable experiences we had helped me grow maturely.

I know we both have already moved on and we're happy in our own different lives. But told you in the past that I want to get peace with my past so that it won't haunt me when I push through with the future. Also, told you that if we were not in a romantic relationship, we might be good siblings. And I thought of you one as the latter. Whenever you need a family to listen to you, I'm just here.

I'm pretty serious with Carol and I think she's already the one. Though I didn't admit it at first because I might swallow what I said in the future. 😅 But yeah, I want to get really serious with her and I am already seeing a future with her (I think since last year).

So I want us to be still in good terms as family and friends to avoid possible grudges and resentments in the future. And you know me, I'm a loyal and faithful person. 😜 Just in case Carol will doubt me, you can bail me out. Haha! Kidding!

Hope you'll have a very good and happy holidays despite the pandemic. Keep fighting! Aja aja! You can do it!

-Rove

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Life = Game

I guess one great mistake I did in the past was to love someone more than myself. Whom I thought I'll propose to and live till the end.

Then for some reason, life opened its windows and made realize how pathetic I was for so long. That I was not the only person and we might be three or more.

It was one of the biggest heartbreak I had. And it changed me a lot. I'm no longer the sweet and clingy type of person. I no longer chase and please people.

Now sure if Carol would be able to change me back into a kind, understandable, and loving person I used to be. Carol is so kind and she serves me with all her best. I don't wanna to hurt that kind of person. Lucky she is as I am a loyal and faithful person. I just don't know anymore how to show my care. 😆

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His plans for us are great

God heard my prayer and He acted fast. 😆

I prayed that He and Jesus help me let go all the pains I had in the past. And forgive all the people who hurt me and most of all, forgive myself.

That I wanna forget all the bad memories and even all the memories I had with my ex. And poof! It's koko krunch! Haha! Kiddin! I was archiving all the pics I had with my ex alone and saw that user account is no longer there, probably my ex blocked me. I think it's better for both of us so that we can heal and move on faster.

Months ago, I would like to have a space with Carol as I wanna heal myself completely before I'll pursue her full time and dedicate all my 100% attention on her. But then, God works in miracle. With being in the now, I was able to heal faster.

I'm no longer the past Rove - pathetic, possessive with the partner, etc. I don't mind anymore if someone will break up with me. I don't give a damn to small things like arguments anymore. If my heart will be broken again, I just have to give myself some days to cry it out loud until nothing left. Them move on. I'll put myself first. I can make myself happy anyway. 😏 I just wanna share it with special people in my life.

Carol is very patient to me. Though I have angry management issues sometimes, she's still patient enough to talk to me and serve me.

I am a faithful and loyal person since I was born. And kailangan ko pandigan partner ko. Though it will take 2-3 years, it's okay. We'll wait for our house to complete. And if we're still together, it might be a nice plan to propose to her when we finally move in to our own home.

When I was praying for the right person, my partner came. May we be the right person for each other.

Thank you God and You really have a great plan ahead of us. I just have to lay all my life upon you.

Amen!

Sent from my iPhone

Me and furbabies only

Argh! Di ko pede mamiss ex ko dahil lang sa isang kanta na we both love. Erase erase. I will not do anything despite the thoughts. 🤨

Haaay. Ano ba tong pinulot ko at pinukpok ko sa ulo ko. Knowing from the start na di pa ko completely healed, pumasok na ko agad sa isang relationship. 🙁

Mas masarap parin talaga maging single. Walang ibang piniplease kundi sarili mo lang. Walang mga ka-LQ whatsoever. Walang sakit sa ulo. If love lang naman, umaapaw na love I am receiving from my furbabies. They are more than enough. 🥰

May way out paba.. Sorry God. 😞 I think I failed again. I think I'm really better off alone - no commitments, etc. Romantic relationship is not really my field. ❌ Ilan tao na nasaktan ko and I don't wanna hurt them anymore. Even fling or puppy love, I don't want anymore. I don't want to make someone fall in live with me anymore. Better that they know me as not approachable para no one will even dare to start with me. 😏

Hindi na po ko magdedesire God ng "partner till do us part". I can always settle down with myself alone. Coward kung coward but I quit pleasing others. All my life, I've been pleasing the people around me, inc family and parents. Pero kung partner din need iplease, wag nalang po. 😣

My worth is more than enough. This is what I realized after my ex broke up with me. I realized that I was so pathetic during my past life.

Rove first then my furbabies. 🥰

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Being single is a privilege

I'm one of the few people here on Earth who had loved so much but had heart broken big time, then decided just to stay single forever.

I don't wanna deal with any f***ing drama anymore.

I'd rather live alone with my furbabies. No commitments.

Sent from my iPhone

Covid Positive

I'm covid positive and I want to be alone. No drama, no pleasing anyone.

Sent from my iPhone

Single Life is the best than being committed

God, binabawi ko na po sinabi ko nun.

I thought si Carol na yung makaka-settle down with ko. Pero I dont think so. We're not really compatible. I'd rather stay single forever than this.

I don't have any interest at all kung magalit man sya or makipag-away. I don't mind at all kung makipagbati sya or what.

Gusto ko nalang talaga makipaghiwalay. Mas masaya pa buhay ko as single.

Maybe I'm not the old self anymore who was madly in love with someone and acted like a stupid dog pleasing him/her.

I'd still love to live alone, at my own house with my fur babies - without any human being I've got to please to.

Sorry God. Maybe I'm not up to what you have given me. Help us God. I want to end everything sooner. I can take care of myself anyway.

But thanks a lot God. I really appreciate it.

Sent from my iPhone

Mga kalat

Lagi nalang ba?

Tuwing may gusto lumayas, iniiwan mga gamit nya? Lagi nalang nangiiwan ng mga kalat nya. 😒 Same old same.

Kala ko naman mature na this time. Hindi yung mahilig tumakbo at lumayas. Nabigyan na naman ako ng stress sa mga naiwan na kalat. 😒

Marry you

She said "yes".

I told my love "Marry Me".

Tears fell down from my eyes. Tears of joy. That someone finally said "yes" without hesitation.

Actually, I was already thinking of telling it to her few weeks ago. But I got nervous and thought I haven't bought a ring yet.

I told Love that I plan to move out after I have finished my Masters. And I would love for her to live with me.

Ngayon palang naluluha ako with the thought of her marrying me, pano pa kaya sa actual wedding. 😆

Soon, makakabili din ako ng engagement ring than I'll propose to her formally..

RC is in the house!

My woman.

I've been hot headed, impatient, and nagger for the last few days. Also super busy with work. But she's being very patient to me. I dunno but it seems like it's the first time I met a person like her.

I love her. Though I am not good in showing it to her, she's very important to me. Though there are ideas and beliefs that we clash, we are still trying to work it out. I have to accept the whole her and probably, make her become better and she to me.

Someday, I might probably propose to her. She's a gem that if I lose, it's my lost big time. May our relationship lasts forever.

#RC

My Carol 🥰

Today's our 5th Monthsary.

Though it's been only months, felt like I've known her for so long already. I'll be truthful, loyal, and faithful to her. I trust her that she's honest and faithful to me. I know she'll never cheat on me. With that said, I'll be her knight and she'll be my queen I'll serve. I love her and I never want to see her cry.

I love you, my Love. I will always do.

Reformat

I thought, in order for me to heal faster (if there's a very small hint left) and to progress my relationship with Carol faster, I have to forget all the memories I had with my ex. They are good memories but they are better to be forgotten (especially those sweet moments).

If ever I'm still in love, only with the memories, not with the present person anymore. Let go and forget. I'd rather make new memories, with Cha as my little sister, and delete all what's in the past.

So help me God.


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Both of Us

There are lots of things I wanna buy for my partner and our future family.

As simple as buying her a UV parka (just like what I currently have). So that her skin will be safe when she goes out motorcycling.

Buy a laptop so that she has a computer to use in Valenzuela.

Buy the motorcycle right away. But we plan to do it on April.

Buy a lot and/or house & lot for our future home. But I still don't have extra. Maybe after I finish school.

Buy us a 4-wheel drive (pick-up) so that we have something to use when we go out of town with our furbabies.

Got lots of things in mind. But none of these fancy things she wants. She's a simple person.

I won't look for more. She's already enough, actually too much for me. Kind, patient, good cook, best at budgeting, loving, and truthful.

One at a time, we'll achieve our goals. And one day, I'm gonna propose to her.

I thank God for bringing her to me. She's pushing me to be a better person and be kinder.

I gave her a goal, lose 1-1.5kg a month. She said, she got to be sexy when we go to Boracay. Then told her we'll go there on our 1st Anniv. Haha!

God’s Plan

I just remembered.

How I wish I believed on her when she told me she didn't love me anymore. That she loved someone else. I didn't believe while telling her that she was only saying it to shoo me away. I was pathetic to cry in front of her and asked her back. This was year 2018, I guess, at their condo in Ortigas.

If only I believed and had let her go that time, I shouldn't have wasted more years fighting for the battle I've already lost. In short, it took years before I finally woke up from my madness. It took years before I finally realized my worth.

Well, all things have its own reason - even the reason is making bad decision.

I guess, it's worth the wait. I've finally met my person, hopefully. My person who I think is consistent and helping me become a better person each day. I love her and I will choose her always. May our relationship lasts forever.

Love is a verb. #MyCarol

My Love on a Love Month

14th, celebrated Valentines together in Quezon.

18th, celebrated our 4th Monthsary though we’re not physically together.

Same with her, I also tried. And till now, I’m not regretting anything. She’s helping me become a better person. Reminding me to do good and always be kind.

She’s my present and hopefully in the future, in God’s plan, have a family with her. ☺️

“Paubaya” 🥺

I am a late receiver or reactor. 😆 I asked Rhea and Carol what's up with Joshua and Julia thing (I saw pics in my FB Feed). Then they told me to watch it. 

And boom! There's koko krunch! 😂 Kidding! First line of the song, Moira struck me instantly. 🤯

The speech Joshua and Julia had, so very me and my ex. Same feelings, same lines of Joshua, that was me. And Julia's, same with my ex. I cried watching the vid. Carol said that Julia's lines were hers too.

Then happened to see this pic with comment about Julia. She's right! Exactly! That's the reason why my ex left me. And the reason why Carol left her ex.

I made terrible mistakes in the past and I don't want that to happen again. God given me another chance to make myself better and be the best person for my right person, Carol.

What Carol and I always say, “People change. People move on.”

Consistency. I should never forget to be consistent with my love for Carol. Love is a verb, I should always remember this.

Thank you God for always reminding me to do good.

My Love 🥰

Carol and I went out-of-town this weekend to celebrate Valentines together. Spent 2 days at the beach and met new people. I supposedly surprised her with mini dried flower bouquet. Then surprised her with leg massage earlier today.

She gave me this matching passport sleeve and a touching letter. In the letter, she mentioned about loving me with all her heart and mind. And will serve me with all her heart and soul. Love is a verb and told me she'll take care of me, cook for me, and serve me. They are not empty words. She really is taking good care of me. She may be obese and dark-skin now, within her is a very beautiful woman. She's not a girlfriend material, but a wife material. Hopefully, someday, my family will like her too.

Sometimes, I thought of moving out and live a life with Carol. When will this pandemic end? I want to go back to our physical office now. 😢 But for now, we'll just enjoy our company every 2 weeks. In His perfect time, everything will fall into its right place.

I would like to celebrate our 1st year anniversary in New Zealand. Go camping and roadtrip for 2 weeks. I don't mind driving long hours, as long as we're together. I'm confident that she'll take care of me. And in return, I'll also take care of her.

May we be together till death do us apart, in all God's plan.

Celebrate the Heart’s Month

Update 2/11:

I ordered 3 small cakes for the 15 homies. They will be delivered on 14th. 😁

I forgot that I also ordered 3 tubs of Ube Decadence on 12th for everyone in the house. ☺️

Thank God you are reminding me to be grateful everyday. Also thank you for using Carol in reminding me to be always kind and giving to others.

——

My surprise Valentine's gifts have arrived earlier. They're for Rhea, mom, and Carol. Now, I have to plan how I will give it to them. I also booked a surprise couple massage for my parents on 13th. Then booked a surprise massage for Carol on 15th.

I love giving surprises for my loved ones. I am also thinking, how will I show my gratitude to my homies... 🤔

I love you God.

Grateful to Him

Ang prayers ko lang nun, marunong magluto at faithful. Pero binigay ni God, sobra sobra pa. Kahit gaano karaming thank you, they are not enough of how grateful I am to what He has given me.

- A good cook. Almost anything, she can cook. My faves? She just have to taste it once, she'll know right away how to make it.
- Madiskarte, magaling mag-budget, at matipid. Hindi ka maghihirap sa kanya. 😆 She prefers to go to the local market than groceries. She almost know all the prices of veggies and meats in the market.
- Mahilig sa bata at dog lover. Inaasar nya lagi mga cats ko though. 😆
- Good hearted. One time, naging sarcastic ako sa ibang tao, pinagalitan nya ko pag-uwi namin sa bahay. 😅
- Simple and not materialistic.
- Healthy living sya. Puro veggies and fishes. Less meat. At water lang iniintake nya na drinks. 😏
- Sobrang daldal 😳 Hinahayaan ko nalang. 😂
- God fearing at mapagbigay sa iba.
- Faithful and loyal.

Told her to just enjoy each other's partnership and for sure our relationship will go deeper. ☺️

And I think, nagmature narin ako kahit papaano. Kahit nag-aaway kami, I never thought of chatting or talking to someone else. I now prefer to be alone doing nothing or hanging out at rooftop, reading, or playing games. Sya na ata katapat ko. 🤔

I love her, my queen, my Carol. And I am so lucky having her in my life.

Grateful on His blessings

"Don't cry over a spilled milk."

When I saw the last guy Cha cheated on me, it gave me another reason to tell myself that I wasn't wrong when I chose Carol. That I am really lucky having Carol in my life. ☺️ That God really have a wonderful plan for all of us, you just have to trust Him.

Last night, it was so easy for me imagining Carol walking the aisle and exchanging vows with me. I can see her face clearly that I teared cause of joy. I was smiling. I never had this kind of imagination and wasn't easy in my previous relationship no matter how hard I try.

Now, I have to make it right. I don't want to lose my person.

Random Thoughts

I feel like my mom wouldn't like to know that Carol is my current partner. I know she still likes Cha for me. And even for my adult family, they still like Cha.

They don't know what Cha has done (3x cheating) and what I have done (possessive behavior). They don't have to know as they are not the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

The kids and my furbabies, they like Carol for who she is.

I'm praying that soon, one day, I'll be able to build a house for the two of us and our furbabies. And we wouldn't care the judgmental eyes anymore.

I may had possessive behaviour in the past, but they all know that I was a loyal and faithful partner.

Soon, my family will get to know Carol more and will realize how a great person she is. In God's perfect time.

That was nice for my future

That was a nice memory. I remember the feeling.

That I was once fell in love with someone that I thought I'm gonna marry with in the future.

That I was once with someone for the longest time, 4-5 years, that I thought I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with.

But God has a different plan for both of us.

Nevertheless, they are good memories I'm gonna treasure with until I'll get married and spend the rest of my life with my "the one".

New baby! 😘

With our baby RC last Jan 3. ☺️

Our family has grown larger. Haha! I already have 2 dogs and 6-7 cats (not sure if Copper already belonged to Rhea 😆).

With their new mom and new sister, we are now a family of 12. 😅 Wata very large family. And this gives me more reason to have a house with large garden. 😆

Speaking of the house, I told Carol that I dreamt of having a house at The Peak Havila. I can't afford to buy a lot there yet as I am currently paying for the lot I bought in Batangas. Maybe, since Carol and I love beaches, we can have our home in Batangas instead. 😁 We will surely build our home for a family of 12. Haha!

Carol asked me (Jan 3) if I plan to marry her. My answer is yes. My goal in courtship is always to marry the person and have our family. ☺️ I told her that I sometimes wonder if she can stay loyal and faithful. And if our relationship will last long. I've done many blunder moves in the past and I don't want those to happen again. I will do my best to be the right person for her despite the many arguments we had. 😅 She told me that she already found her "katapat" in me. And I think, I already found my "katapat" too. 😋

—

Carol is very talkative, I told her. 😆 

I don’t wanna lose her. I should control my mind from spewing words without thinking carefully. 

“Happy wife, happy life.” I should always remember.

My Love

Carol finally added me in FB. Then she made this status. Though not sure if this social media status will make a difference. 😆 For her, these are all first time. She never added anyone from her exes as her FB friend.

—

2020. Some of my FB friends had their breakup. Some got engaged. Some got married. Some gave birth. And I belong to the first one. If it didn't happen, I might belong to the 2nd one. But God has a different plan. Maybe I was in a wrong person and He stopped my plan even before I make a move. 😆

Then I finally met Carol, not as a friend but a special someone. I still kept praying unto Him to help me if she is the right person He's been preparing for me. And maybe, soon, I will finally propose. Let's see... Everything will make sense and be at its right place in His perfect time.

Dec 30th Date 🥰

Carol and I went to Tanay and Antipolo to - guess what? - eat! 😂

First, lunch at Martessam Resort with a refreshing mountain view. Then dinner at Cloud 9 with a nice city lights view.

—

On the other hand, I gave my love a workout plan. And always teasing her to do it every day. 😏😆

Told her I need her to stay alive therefore make sure she is physically healthy.