Many times that life and fate were trying to save me

I realize, there were so many times na life and fate were trying to save me.

I remember the time before ako lumapit sa psych for my depression, nagalit sakin si Cha. Pununtahan ko sya sa PSBA. Pero umuwi na raw sya sabi ni Trish. Then pumunta ako sa condo nila sa Ortigas. Her mon let me in and I went to their bedroom dahil tulog daw si Cha. I remember na nagmakaawa ako sa kanya. I cried and hugged her kahit nagpupumiglas na sya. She told me na hindi na raw nya ko mahal at may iba na raw sya gusto. I didn't believe her that time kasi iniisip ko na galit lang sya sakin at kailangan ko sya suyuin at ipaglaban. Pero I was wrong. Totoo palang may iba na sya. Sana naniwala ako sa sinabi nya at pumayag nalang ako makipaghiwalay sa kanya nun. If only I know na may 3rd party na pala sya nun at nagccheat na sya sakin, eh di sana, hindi na ko nagpakatanga puntahan sya at ipaglaban.

Close friends already told me na "Enough Rove. Tigilan mo na yang kahibangan mo. You deserve better." Pero di ako nakinig sa kanila, instead, pinaglaban ko si Cha many times, without knowing na may 3rd party na palang involve.

Another time, I remember na bumalik sya ng bahay first week ng Aug 2018. Then I found out sa cellphone nya na may nangyari na pala sa kanila ng kabit nya during our cool off. But what I did? I tried to understand her and kept telling myself that she was just a victim and didn't know what she was doing. It took time before nag sink in sakin lahat since slow ako and I was trying to believe to second chance and goodness of human beings.

Pero I was wrong again. She kept on reconnecting and coming back sa kabit nya. Many chances and understanding were given but no, lahat yun sinayang nya.

Then after four years ng pagpapakatanga, recently, nagising nalang ako (while writing that 2nd letter for her). Ba't ba ko habol ng habol sa kanya? I quit. I told myself, "I deserve better." I deserve a faithful, loyal, consistent, and mature partner. I don't deserve this kind of woman (Cha). I thought, she's better to be with that man - both liar and cheater.

Then told Cha na I am no longer part of the list of people who are dying to be with her. I don't fucking care anymore! I love myself more!

Now, I kept reminding myself that I will not let myself fall in love with Cha again. There are more beautiful - inside and out - women out there. The deserving woman to be my wife is just out there, waiting for me. I deserve better.

Rove deserves better. 😊

What’s up Rove

Instead of fighting my feelings for チャ, I'll just let it flow. But I should not fall hard again - just not yet - not until I'm sure that I'm gonna marry the person. I don't wanna invest my time nor my feelings again, not until I am ready and sure of the person's loyalty and faithfulness. I don't wanna get hurt again because of my blunder decisions. I should cautious now.

Let life and fate do its thing. I will just do my best and invest on myself, nothing more, nothing less. I love myself more than anyone else.

No more place for another mistake in romantic love. 6 digit engagement ring is at stake here - and also my heart and mind. ☺️

We all deserve a loyal and faithful partner. God will provide one to me, soon. 😊 Just have to be patient.

I will just enjoy my single (no commitment) life for now. Then get rich! 😎

——

Reminder to Rove:
"Don't reveal your plans. Just do it. Then show them your success."

“Never again”

True.

I can't fall in love romantically with チャ again. I don't want. She's only a family and a best friend.

No no no. "Never again" (just like how they see Marcos).

I don't wanna risk myself again. Because everytime I start to trust again, there are revelations I get to find out. So it's better not to be in a relationship or commitment with チャ. I don't want to have a future wife who has so many (dark) secrets and lies.

She told me in the past that she only had sex or one-night stand with J. How will I know if she is telling the truth? She even hide the fact that she was still seeing J once every few months. So how to trust the words of a person who repeatedly told lies? 😋

This is why it's better that we're just friends. I deserve an honest, faithful, and consistent partner. 🙂 And I'm already looking for a wife-material, to be my future queen and faithful wife. 😊

In His time

In His time, I'll meet my queen. 😊

Be patient Rove

Haaay. Gusto ko na magka-gf. 😞 God, hanggang kelan nyo po ba ipprepare yung right woman to be my wife... I would like to get married before I reach the age of 35. 😔

Would be nice to meet her this year so that we can have more years to date and get to know each other before I'll propose to her.

Ang dream woman ko lang naman ay God-fearing, honest, faithful, loyal, consistent, hardworking, and independent. Then she will be my precious queen I will serve for the rest of my life.

——

As for Cha? She's my precious sponsored kid. I will support her until she reach her dream of becoming a CPA Lawyer. 🙂 She's like a little sister to me. And I love her as my best friend and family.

Cha to be my future wife? Still na-ah. I no longer find her beautiful in my eyes. All the lies, cheating, unfaithfulness she did in the past are still there. With all the chances I gave, she still chose to continue to break my trust. And I've had enough. 4 years were enough to fight for your love. Anyway, Cha was consistent - consistently lying to me. 😋

——

We all deserve a partner who is loyal, faithful, and consistent. I deserve to meet a woman who will be my future wife.

Be patient Rove. Your time to shine will come. 😁

Adulting sucks!

Bawat tao sa mundo ay may pinagdadaanan.
And this is the reason I don't wanna confide to anyone. I don't wanna tell my stories to people - even the closest ones.
I'd rather keep them all inside and upfront a smiling face.
Adulting sucks!

Why should I live in the first place? To please and help everyone? Na-ah! I should stop helping other people. I should live and cater myself only. No one else!

Anti-social. Let's be like this. I'd rather be my own company than to be with lots of people who are only there when you have something they need.