unexpected.....but needed to believe...

From the very first I discover something, it just makes me laugh. What should your reaction be when you read or saw something you didn't expect? I guess you're just laughing at first and can't believe what you're seeing.

Last day, it's Sunday, I have nothing to do. I then thought of visiting a site, until I discovered something. I finished reading it and I can't believe what I saw. 'Woah! Really?!' - that's all I said. Then yesterday, it's Monday, I visited another site. I just tried to find that site because someone called me up at the phone. And again, 'Woah! Is it true?!'. These two things I have discovered made me laugh at first and putted a smile on my face. I can't believe that these two people are somewhat similar. The first one happened at the past, elementary days. Then the second one is just happening at present, highschool days. These two different people that haven't any connection to each other made a smile on my face. I then feel so lucky that I met them.

So long...that's all I wanted to say...hahahahaha...

Bye! ;D

slucked up! what have I done?!

This day is the 2nd time of my "The Worst Day Ever".

Kagagaling lang sa Field Trip, tapos ito pa ang nangyari. Masama naba ang magbiro? - siguro nga. Basta ang alam ko ay wala ako ginawang masama. Tamang tama ang pinakikinggan ko ngayon "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan. Itong mga rumors na to ang makasisira sa kin. Nasisira ang 'Pride' ko - kung meron pa. Dapat siguro bumili na ako ng Surf - joke! (corni)

Buti nalang talaga ay meron akong katabi gaya ni Rachel na kahit walang alam sa mga nangyayari ay pinapabasa sa kin ang mga chapters sa Bible na binabasa nya. Thank you Rachel, you mean a lot to me.

Dapat siguro di ko na dapat isipin to kasi wala naman ako koneksyon sa kanila, panggulo lang ako. Baka naman sa mga oras na ito ay tumatawa lang sila at parang walang nangyari. Di lang talaga ko sanay na may nagagalit sakin. Ito ang 2nd time na nakita ko na naman ang mga matang iyon. Nung 1st ay ung Grade 2 ako sa NOLPS nung sa Marikina pa kami nakatira. Isang taon lang ako dun, one reason narin ang pangyayring iyon. Ung unang beses na nakita ko yung mga matang iyon ay galing rin sa klasmeyt kong babae. Parang ganun din, maimpluwensya rin ung klasmeyt ko na un - magaling sa klase, matalino, active sa co-curricular activities, at matangkad din! (hahahahaha). Ayoko ng makakita ng mga ganung mata. Prang napilit ko nga lang ang mga magulang ko nun na lumipat agad ng bahay dahil sa mga pangyayaring mga ganun eh.

I hope maayos na toh, kasi baka di ako makatulog na maayos.

P.S. wala akong crush sa classroom! mamatay man ako,,, meron lang mga hinahangaan - hanggang dun lang un.

happy! happy! happy!

Yesterday was our field trip. We have so much fun! F-U-N, FUN! Four of us bonds really good. Even I slide out going at the c.r. in Mall of Asia, it's ok. It's there fault why I slide out, they didn't even putted any 'wet floor' sign. I hope nobody saw it except for Rosy. And in the Leisure farm, even we didn't join the racing game, we've done our plan successfully. - I hope Reg has appreciated it.

At the bus, we enjoyed most. Watching the sceneries. Talking and chatting to friends and classmates. Eating together. Playing and having so much fun!

It was also in bus we saw different scenes. Lol. But anyway, it doesn't matter, for me - I guess.

Ok, that's it! I need to finish this questionnaire and do some readings.

Bye! ;D

1st Taglish entry....(just want to express anger and freakiness)

Habang ako'y nagsusulat ngayon, wala na akong kausap. Kakalog-out lang ni Rosy.

B-day ni Reg ngayon, pero sobrang ganda ng b-day gift na natanggap niya mula sa amin. Sobra! As in walang makakapantay sino man!

Nababadtrip ako dahil di ko alam kung sino ang may kasalanan. Sa lahat ng disappointments na naeexperience ko ay sarili ko ang sinisisi ko, pero ngayon, di ko alam! Lagi nalang ba ako? Pagkatapos ng pagkatapos ng school hours, nangyari ang lahat ng ito. Minsan naiisip ko kung hanggang kelan ako makikisama sa kanila. Ang nangyayari ay lumalabo na, parang di na totoo. Kung nagiging totoo man, ay nagiging sobra naman - nung meron ng nasasaktan. Unang beses ko umiyak dahil sa kanila, na hindi naman dapat - I looked stupid! Ngayon, di ko alam kung ano mangyayari sa Saturday. Siguro this is just part of God's trial. I think He's just testing our relationships as close friends. I don't know! I feel so sick! And all this damnation I feel, it swallows me slowly.

When I started to think a little bit mature, I'm wishing that I could have a very close bestfriend from childhood until we'll grow up. And I guess God has already given me one, not from childhood but very close friends. Because of so much blessings, He just didn't given me one but three people. But I'm still hoping that we will be bestfriends until we grow up. Knowing this makes me think that it's so seldom for these kinds of circumstances to happen.

Di ko na alam gagawin ko! Lagi nalang ata ako ang umiintindi dahil satingin ko ay medyo mas mature ang pagiisip ko kesa sa kanila - dahil yun sa mga experiences na naexperience ko na, I guess!

Then early this morning, because I wore a frown face, I think I have ignored one person. And it's makes me guilty afterwards. I'm just glancing at that person. But I guess, it doesn't matter to that person whether I smiled or not. What that person cares? I'm just one of the many people that person has known. I'm no important to that person. I'm just a little mouse in that person's face. And I guess while I'm writing this thing, that person is already sleeping and don't remember any even small thing.

Nobody cares! Only my Father and my Bestfriend know.

P.S. I got a headache the whole day, and a little bit of exhaustion.

Bye! It just pisses me off remembering these things!

a hero?....Or a trying hard hero?

Protecting someone who's important to your life is a hard thing to do. Even though you want to protect those people, you're still unaware that you're not a good cause but a root of their pains.

When I was a child, my friends and I were fond of playing different kinds of games - most were invented by us! Most of the games were invented by me and lead by me. Most of it was about protecting and saving lives of people. I had loved to be a hero, not a superhero but a human hero. And I guess, until now. I didn't ever have a superhero (have super powers) to look up to. I guess you already know it, that I am overprotective when I was a child. And part of it is still left in me.

I really love to protect those people who're already part of my life and going to be part of it. But I am so weak and coward to do all these protecting-thing. Sometimes when I see them hurt, I pity myself for not doing anything.

Yesterday, I failed to protect my love ones. Then today, I've just failed again to protect one person. I love to protect but I'm the root of hurts. Sometimes, I'm thinking of just staying away to all the people for I'm afraid that I might hurt them instead of protecting them.

But still, earth needed to go on on its axis.... ;D

sick..... and becoming...... deadly sick!

Guess what what happened out here after I went home from my classmate's house... I check on to my mom about the thing I've said to her. Then she just ignored me with frown face. Guess what she said. She said that she was so tired and I - yes me!, is complaining about that thing. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying something! And I admitted that I was wrong on my part for not being so specific. But it's not my fault for her becoming like that. She's so busy with anything and I guess has fully loaded schedule to be with us. Sometimes, I was thinking that it is the reason why my bro was like that. I guess, he becomes a rebel - not too much, because of this "hectic schedules" of our parents. Then, a verbal fight aroused between my mom and my bro. And I, just standing beside my mom handing a piece of paper to her, but again, ignored my hand and I was just staring at the paper in my hand. After that, after 5 seconds of being ignored, I just putted it down at the table and just let her see it by herself. Did you know why they're fighting? My lil' sis told my mom that my bro is going to Marikina again to see his girlfriend. Then my mom bursted in fury that why he just quit schooling. In fact I agree on that, he's just wasting money. I don't know what's up with my bro. He's becoming so crazy with that girl - jerk! And I think that girl doesn't deserve my brother, same with my bro, he doesn't deserve that girl! I wish that nothing would ever happen between them, or else, I'll kill them both! Stupid fellas!

Today is the 2nd Quarter giving out cards. And I already expected my mom wouldn't ever get it. But it's ok, for nothing especial to my grades. She might be just disappointed to my grades.

Sometimes, I am wishing that all of these will be gone. And we will just live a simple life being together, a happy and an intact family.

I already have 2nd degree flu and might fall into "tears flu" which is the 3rd degree level.

But I don't know! I'm sick of this house! And becoming deadly sick!

It's already 10:22, my mom was already here. But all what happened was already gone. Fighting in our house is just a very short term. It just last for about 5-30 minutes. That's it!

Ok, bye! I think more wars are going to happen tonight. I gotta go to sleep or study maybe just to be excused.

Freak ;D

pissy? or uncertainity? - misfortune? or part of life?

I'm pissed! I don't really exactly know the reasons, but I guess they are.

I still have flu and it haunts me since last three days.

I messed up with my computer. I don't know what had happened. I tried to uninstall wma11 but I completely erased the wma10 unconsciously. And now, I'm trying all sorts of things just to take it back. I even talked to my friend to send me her file in wma, but it didn't work! I tried to install some errors fixatior - but nothing has worked! I even tried to install the older version of wma which is the wma9. But even this thing hasn't permitted to be installed. And now, I'm waiting to finish what I'm downloading - the wma, I wished that it will work.

2 hours before...

My mother arrived, complaining about the book I asked her to buy. This book has two prices. I didn't know that my mother will buy the expensive one than the cheaper one. It's like I already bought the book I prefer - The Notebook.

Now...

Sick! I have just finished downloading the wma, but it's not the wma I prefer! I'll kill ya! Die Microsoft! (sorry to say)

Early this evening, I talked to a friend who admires two people - the one I'm talking about last my other entry. This friend was telling me about that two people, especially that person. (Don't bother to think about it!) I don't know! But I am happy for my friend. My friend is so lucky. That time, a thought entered into my mind. It made me feel buried under the ground. (Don't even try to think about it!)

I guess I'm just uncertain to my feelings. I'm just fooling myself to feel my life so dreadful. I am always telling myself that all things happening are not misfortunes, instead part of my life - as trials!

Stop complaining! (I'm talking to myself)

ok, ok, ok, ok....time to go...need to fix something...... or just tomorrow

cool but slucked up!

This morning, my classmates said that I look like dead meat for my eyes have big black bags or so-called eye bags. Ok, if it so, it doesn't really look like. I admit that I almost slept very late, that I even left my book unreviewed and my light opened. But there are reasons why, even though they're not valid. I was hooked up very deep by games in http://www.comedycentral.com/. I had so much fun in this site even I'm sucked in some games out here. There is a game in here, titled "redneck". First, I was wondering what kind of game this is. After I clicked on it, I started playing the 'fisherman' game. Not so long, I recognized that the concept of the game is to destroy creatures and nature. Even though, I had so much fun!

After some plays, there's no one to talk to that's why I went to Mapee's site. I watched a video - so crazy!

That's all I remembered yesterday...

Half disappointed, Half happy, yet all wierd...

I don't know what others think about it. If only they'll able to know that I did hesitate to work more productively into it.

Right now, I hate to think that I'm going to College. I feel like I'm already messed up with my life. I feel like I don't want anymore to pursue my life - I'll love to see my life ended. Honestly, I'm so excited to die. I'm so excited to see and live my life forever with my Father and my Bestfriend. I don't want to feel more pains and sufferings. I'm a great pretender! - if you don't know it.

Happy for I recieved a simple thing from a special person. Actually, I don't really know what and where am I going to use it. But then, I appreciate it a lot! I'm so shy in giving thanks to those people who give me favors. That's why I just send my thanks by messages. Hope that person will be able to understand.

All things happening to me has a reason. But I can't help myself from not seeing it as wierd things. I guess this is the way I cover up the tragedies I'm experiencing.

Thank you for listening!

bye-bye! - I need some rest prick! (just joking)

So wierd.....and upsetting.....

What am I going to do? Keep still my secret and just tell some lies to protect it? How long do I need to suffer just to protect and keep this senseless secret into myself?

As day passes by, my life is getting miserable - I guess, in terms of relationships (general). I hate to think of other people right after I wake up. I want God to be my first thought. I'm always praying to my Father that I need his help to change the way I think and the way I feel.

It causes my heart to bleed everytime I see those kind of situation. Sometimes, I'm wishing that I could meet that person in my dream and talk to that person straight with all honestly as I could. But other last night I had the chance, but still I haven't any guts to talk to that person. I guess, I'll end up to be a loser. I'm a big coward in terms of talking to people personally and straight. Sometimes, I think that I am just a big mass of blockage to the dreams of that person that's why I prefer to be quiet.

Oh! I should now stop these senseless talk!

Enough hurt is enough! - lol

See ya!

Wat a time!

I almost completely forget to memorize in Values. Thanks to Onin, atleast you cause good to me. - just joking!

2 days and 3 nights left for me to enjoy this one-week-sem-break. But as days fade away, my schedule is becoming hectic. -WOW! sikat?! Tomorrow morning, I gotta need to wake up early - uh-oh! I hate mornings! Then I've need to meet up my classmates for some good reasons - I hope. Then after, we have to go in Cavite for some another good reasons - it should be!

Right now, I'm with two kids - except me, wahahaha. A ten year old boy and a two year old girl. They're siblings and they're my cousins.

Maybe, after this write-do, I'll hand back this pc to my cousin for he's playing Sims and I just interrupted him. So, what am I gonna do next? - nothing!

Ah! Now I know. See ya!

Back to Addiction....

It's been so long since one-week-sem-break has started.

Now, I'm back to my addiction when I was elementary to 1st year highschool student - thinking of my age? shut up!

It's all started when three of us friends met up last saturday to watch Scary Movie 4 here in our house. I was then all alone for my bro who's left with me was outside. Niño went first and we talked for little bit while waiting for Rosy. And then after two hours - I guess, Rosy came. Niño and I talked about our project in Computer and led to emulator. At first, I haven't any idea and desire to have it. But Niño tried to find it in internet using this PC. The result as usual, no findings - jokes! But that's true! I already asked him so many tims before to lend me his emulator but he said that it's so hard to find the parts - what the heck there are parts?!

Then after we watched, when they're already gone, I am thinking of finding it. And that very day, I found the parts and downloaded the plug-ins - even I haven't any idea what I am doing. Hey! Thanks to the big bro of Diana and Diana - you're my hero! I asked my friends that night, by sending messages, about some bios. Then, my hero replied that his brother knows. What are you saying that it's so hard? (Niño) Even though I haven't any idea what I am doing, I have collected the best parts! - I guess! Wahahahahaha!!

Then, it all started there.......Now, I'm enjoying playing playstation again. Waking up in the morning. Eat my breakfast. Take a bath. Go and open my computer. Then BOOM! Start playing games! All day until midnight....

But anyway, I know that it will not last long for after this week, I'm back to school.