My future partner

The perfect wife for me may just be around the corner. Should be the source of happiness and not misery (including bad revelations). Share same beliefs and principles (who also want to get married and have kids in the future; loyal and faithful whatever happens). A wife who has better intentions (help me live a frugal life, encourage me get into business, support me, and not make me go bankrupt).

I may be asking a lot. But why not? I deserve one. 😊 And I fully know that it's possible as there's no impossible with God. Trust Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways, I acknowledge Him and He will make my path straight.

Amen!

Thoughts about romantic relationship

Sometimes, I'm having nightmares when I'm still awake. I can imagine how they meet, start every meeting, and during the meeting. They not only did it once, they did it multiple times. They had sex many times that even チャ was unable to give me a number.

Because of this revelation, it made me think not twice but thrice, four times, or even five times about considering courting my ex again. Now, it's better my mind leads on than my heart. The latter used to lead on and see where it took me - full of heartaches and bad decisions.

It's really difficult to trust again, especially for a person like me. Instead of waiting for two years only, and there's around 1.5 years left, I am considering reseting back to 2 years or more.

2020, another year for me to take new chances. I will now be open this year for new possibilities. For me, it's easier to be in a new relationship with a new person than getting back and starting over with an ex who was unfaithful for years. I'm not talking about simple act of cheating that they saw each other but had "sex" lots of times! And they did it casually like it was a normal thing. It's the worst for me as I see sex as a highest form of intimacy and a holy act of love that you should not perform casually with just anyone you are not in a relationship or commitment with. Because of this belief, I can tell that only God can make me re-consider チャ again as my partner/girlfriend. But if it's just me, I will not again. But will re-consider if there's closure (which I'm afraid チャ is not yet ready for).

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God, thank you as you are always there, protecting me from committing bad decisions in life. You really are keeping me away from people who you think will only hurt me. Please continuing keeping me safe always. I love you and thank you God.

In Jesus name, amen!

Get lost stresses!!! 😎

I gotta go to the gym! But not right now. Haha! I'd rather sleep than go out. 😆 Tomorrow I'll go to the gym and on Sunday. 😁

At a time like this, I don't wanna think anymore. I don't wanna talk nor prove myself to anyone. Don't fucking care! 😎 I'll just do what makes me happy as long as I'm not hurting anyone.

When things not really go according to your plan, it's a stress. Haha. But I should remember "I don't give a fuck!" Accept them as they are and move on. Make peace with your past then move forward.

Preparing for visa stresses me.
The incorrect booking stresses me.
The minimal mistake in Bank Cert stresses me.
The bill I was not able to pay earlier stresses me.
Revelations I've found out but with hanging answers are "what you call that."
In the end, I should be like "Who cares? Yolo! Don't fucking care~!!!"

My goals for 2020:
Hit the gym.
Get fit.
Build muscles.
Forget チャ.
Start dating new again.
Buy own house and lot.
Be happy!

So help me God.

No to condo, just yet

I think, pass na ko sa pagbili this year. Baka pag binili ko yan at magkasama kami ni チャ, bitbitin nya dyan si J at mag sex sila na mag sex. Hahaha!

Tsaka, nagbago na isip ko, hindi na ko magppropose kay チャ. 🙂

My God really save me from further devastation and bankruptcy. Unahin ko muna yung other plans ko, yung para sa sarili ko lang. 😉

Thank you God

Alam mo yung, andun kana.. napatawad mo na, malapit kana ma fall in love again sa kanya.. tapos may revelations kang malalaman. Yes, it's in the past. Pero mas okay sana may closure. At sabihin nya yung truth lalo na kung matagal ng tapos.

Then sabi nya, hindi na raw sila nag coconnect nung J. Tapos I found it now, sya pala yung お母さん sa Contacts. Haha. You are really a fool Rove!

God, I think, you really don't want me to get back to チャ. Self-respect Rove. You cannot trust a person who cannot be honest with himself. You cannot respect a person who cannot even respect himself.

Repeated mistake is not a mistake anymore but a choice.

Thank you God for always saving me. I really deserve a Godly woman. I really do. I should continue cleaning myself and preparing myself. The best is yet to come. I declare this 2020 that I will have an awesome year! Free from heartaches, free from dishonesty, free from evil, etc!

I love you God more than anyone. Please keep me calm and respectable always.

I pray all these things. In the Mighty name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen!

Liberation from sleep

Sometimes, I thought of asking チャ to be my girlfriend again. But for an instant, my mind changes and it disagrees.

For four years I served her well as my queen, but she cheated on me for two years (found out after 4 months we broke up). I've given everything - my time, my respect, my understanding, my support in all aspects even financially - not leaving something for myself. Thought that she'll be the woman I was gonna marry. Treated her well more than I treated my mom and sisters. Fought for her many times thought that it'll gonna be my last chance - now or never. Forgiven her after she had sex with someone else while we're still in a relationship. Believed in her goodness and thought she committed mistakes unintentionally.

But one day, I just woke up from the truth. That I was so stupid for so long - believing that she's a well-respected and honest person. I got it all wrong. I think God snapped a finger and told me, "You were believing wrong. You were deceived. Wake up Rove! She's not the woman you deserve."

Now, I always put my family first - esp my mom and sisters - more than any human beings here. I don't wanna spend more money anymore except for myself and for my family. If ever I'll get married someday, there got to be a pre-nup. This way, I can protect myself and my family. Self-respect is now one of my priorities.

I should not be stupid anymore when it comes to love. "It's better to wait than to marry wrong." I will just wait for the woman God is preparing for me.

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God, I know that everything happens for a reason. Those reasons maybe too difficult for a human being to comprehend. Nevertheless, I just have to put my trust to you 100%. That whatever happens, I know you are putting me to a good place. For I know the plans you have for me. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans to give me future.

Let Your will thy be done.

I pray all these things in mighty name of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen!

Unique way of proposing

Saw this in my Feed. I don't know but I will say this when God tells me "That's your future spouse. Go get her." 😆

Dream woman

Do you think I should start dating again? It's 2020.

Naka-move on narin ako sa past relationship ko. It's been 9 months narin. And I deserve someone's better. Someone who is loyal, faithful, mature, independent, consistent, and can help me grow as a person. Yung hindi ako magiging broke every time kasama ko sya. Means, masinop at smart sa finances. Someone who chooses to be frugal para we can achieve our dreams like creating new business, buying a property, etc.

Para naman next Christmas, may ka-date na ko. 😆 Or someone to watch fireworks with. ☺️ Ayieeee! 😆 Hindi na dapat ako broke nun para we can celebrate NYE, maybe sa Singapore. 😉

Tanda ko narin no. 30 na ko next year. Hahaha!

But in the end, God decides everything. I just need to lay all upon Him and trust Him. Love can wait. The perfect woman of my life will arrive in His perfect time. ☺️ Please protect her God, wherever she is. Please prepare us both for your greater glory. And when the time has come, I will know it's her.

I love you and thank you for everything, God. In Jesus name, amen!

Have a merry Christmas!

The year is about to end. And I've been single since March 23, 2019. I think it's time for me to get into a new relationship.

God, this year 2020, I am praying that I will finally meet my future wife. What I only desire is a loyal, faithful, smart, and independent woman whom I will be proud of and who'll be proud of me.

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チャ is only a little sister to me. When I first met her, I was shocked that her mom has affair with a different man and had affairs too in the past like a normal thing. I thought, maybe チャ was different. But when I found the truth early this year, for the four years we've been dating, she was already cheating on me for two years. Then I thought, she's no different with her mom. (On the other side, hopefully her mom won't get AIDS by sleeping with different men.🙁)

I forgave チャ but we're already done. I can easily forgive but I cannot easily forget. It was a lesson learned to me. "Hindi dapat ginagawang mundo ang tao lang." And lesson learned is crucial for PMs like me.

Since I found the truth and until now, I still don't want her to be my girlfriend nor future wife. I love her, yes, but only as a family and a friend. I still don't want to spend the rest of my life with her. This is why I am not serving her nor supporting her 100% financially like I used to. That's why I still don't call her "Ney" like I used to. That's why I am not transparent with things that you should only share with your future spouse. She still need two years to prove to me that she is a changed person. But looking at things, she still has lots of things to learn. And I know we are both not waiting for each other. I am waiting for God to introduce me to my future partner in life.

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This year 2020, I will invest and buy my own properties without the knowledge of anyone. I will meet my future partner and get married in 2-3 years. But before getting married, there should be a pre-nup. All money and properties belong to own name will not be shared to spouse. I don't want to get married just because of thy wealth.

And would be nice to have in-laws whom I'll be proud of. My mom already had bad experience with in-laws. I don't want her to experience that again.

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Anyhow, I hope and I pray that year 2020 will be an exciting year for me and to my family. Thank you God for year 2019 - I've experienced the worst and the best. 😊

In Jesus name, amen!

Christmas break sickness

Getting sick during Christmas break sucks. I can't even start doing what I need to do.

Flu + dysmenorrhea = worst combination

Neozep and Bioflu do not take effect anymore. This is why flu is the worst for me. Even pain reliever doesn't stop my cramps and backache for the first two days of my period. I have to deal my dysmenorrhea every month forever. 😢

It's like, getting sick is the worst. And not to feel pain anymore, better to end life itself. But no, there's always rainbow and butterflies every after rain.

Maybe I pushed myself too hard for the last few weeks. The stress and everything suddenly manifest itself when break comes.

I think it's getting normal. Getting sick every Christmas break.

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"We come to this world alone, naked. And we'll die alone, naked."