Future in one picture

The times where as much as I would like the people around me to do things on their own, there is still part of me telling that I should take part as I am more capable.

For example:
Rhea and I should be half-half when buying gifts to our mother. And she knows it fully. But I can hear my conscience that tells me "Mas malaki sweldo mo. Wala pa work kapatid mo. Kaya ikaw na sumagot ng 75%."

And this goes the same with my ハニー. As much as I would like to teach ハニー to budget her money wisely, I can still hear my voice and my mother's voice, "Ikaw na sumagot ng needs nya at kahit allowance nya. Mas malaki sweldo mo."

ハニー might be thinking, "Hindi na makakaalis to sa bahay nila." She might be correct or wrong. But I will do someday. As much as I want to get my own condo unit or apartment now, I couldn't as my only constraint is financial.

How can I fund everything with my current status? Our travels, our needs and wants, our babies' needs, and my daily allowance. I can pay for a 12k rent plus 5k water and electric bill IF there are no travels. Every travel, I spend atleast 15-17k for a domestic trip and atleast 25-30k for an international trip just for the both of us. I am not complaining about this as I love to travel. But my current paycheck doesn't permit me to do both - renting my own flat and traveling. If I will do both, no chance of saving - which I even barely do now.

If ハニー, one day, decided to leave. I will just let her go. I don't have my own house nor business yet. No one likes to live with a person who's with his/her family too. And I fully understand her. But since I am not capable yet financially, I got to endure living with my family a little longer. They are not treating me bad anyway; but to avoid conflicts, I need to live on my own.

I have investments but most of them are loss as of the moment. And they are all for long term. I don't have other source of income that can support me and my ハニー in a daily basis. I rely solely from my monthly paycheck.

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God, am I lazy enough to start my own business?
What hinders me to do it? Money? It's always my excuse which I can't accept anymore.

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When I imagine myself renting an apartment and going to office every weekday as an employee for the next 10 years, it's driving me crazy! I hate to see myself like that for the next 5, 10, nor 15 years! I really can't imagine myself as a forever employee then living a life of "isang kahig, isang tuka". I just can't! 😣 I'd rather die than to have all these happen.

I can imagine myself as an entrepreneur or investor with my own house and own car living in France or Italy. And I can travel for holidays freely with my love ones. Venice, living with me, is attending good school in France/Italy. My fur babies have their own rooms. I have my own restaurant in Italy, my beach resort in Palawan, and own fashion company in France. My wife has also her own business. Our kids are also attending good school. All of these are in the big picture in my head that I'll never forget. These are my goals - my big fat obnoxious dreams. 😜

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So help me God. I love you so much! Help me not to go astray. Keep me in the path that you have laid upon my life. Thank you for the love. ☺️ In Jesus name, amen!