Single, solo, and happy

The damage has already been done.
I'm sorry God I failed you.
It's always easier to start a new relationship.

But I'd rather be single now treating myself to everything. I better start learning to solo travel, may it be domestic or international.

I think I'll start off with camping or mountain hiking

Going on adventures

I guess living with C would be more difficult. She has this unresolved issues with her parents. She badmouthed them to me and to others but she's dying to be with them.

I don't wanna hang out anymore with people who are full of bitterness and insecurities in life. Why? I tend to absorb them. They're kill joy and ruining my mood. Better I start traveling alone. And learn to go on overnights alone. Maybe I can start by joining some tours. Then maybe one day, I can find a traveling buddy.

JP Snow

If only we have extra money, mom, Venice, Riri, Rhea, and I can go back to Japan. It will be the first time for Riri and Venice. I badly wanted to try the Hokkaido Winter Festival. And if it's snow, I will also bring Carol since she wants to experience it.

If only

If only I have extra money… i really wanted to treat my family - mom and the kids (riri, venice, king, kris ann, kim, etc) to Baguio for 3D/2N. And if only we have a van, I'll also take the Lotto pips.

Slipped opportunity

*sigh*
You slipped the opportunity.. telling myself.

Anyway, let life unfolds itself. Tired of these teary eyes because of allergies.

Should I bring Toothless/Frappo? 🤔 Or should I bring Api? Or should I bring all my furbabies? The person here might hurt them.

On a tight spot

I started to get anxious about "what might happen" that I already thought of ending everything.

I don't want to let go of Laiya since it's my choice in the first place. I also don't want to let go of Filinvest since I didn't object when it was first offered to me even knowing the risks.

I want to increase my source of income so that I can get higher chance of approval rate for the 2 properties next year. Gusto ko sila panindigan kahit na with the current status of my income, it's difficult to support my monthly expenses when the time comes.

God, please help me. I don't want this stress and anxiety wear me down. Please guide me and direct my life. Show me what I should do since you're the only one who knows everything about me and my future. I'll follow you without questions. I trusted my life and my family's lives to you. Everything on this world is nothing. If you say so, I'll gladly let go of them.

Thank you God for everything. You kept on helping me especially mentally and financially. You give me hope every time I'm on a very tight spot.

I pray everything unto you. Let your will thy be done.
In Jesus name, amen!

I’ll tell you R

Why it's always the same.
You should have already started moving on.
Break free from a toxic person. You don't need it.

I know you really wanted to forget that you once loved the person.
Pretend so that you can still live altogether under one roof until you finally move to your own house.

Don't let your heart be swayed over and over again.
You don't deserve it.
You need peace.

10:17PM

Para kong maglalayas nito. 😆😅

Well, until 21 na siguro ko dun. Hanggang matapos graduation ko.

Isama ko na sila Api, Frappo, at Toothless.
Si Roshi ay kaya na siguro nila. Madudungis lang si Rosh sa bahay. 😅

I already wrote my To Bring and prepared other stuff.
I'm just hoping that my ordered mask for graduarion will arrive tomorrow.

—

I think I need a week to be far away from C. It's not the first time I've been telling myself to break up with C. And I've already told myself months ago that I should start moving on. I've already cut my ties with my ex. And soon, if this gonna be my ex, I'll immediately cut ties after settling the papers.

Sukoshi, if we'll break up, she and her sister will go back to their house. Then should I go back to our house? How about all the stuff and appliances I accumulated? Should I continue living independently? As much as I want to, I don't have the means. I've got so many rocks throwing at my head right now. 🫠 Find a housemate? It'll not be easy and I have pets. Find a partner right away? It will be difficult too, not unless no strings attach and just for convenience. 🤔

God, I really don't know what to do anymore. Please give me knowledge and wisdom to make sound decisions in life. In Jesus name, amen!

Budgeting is my weakness

I would love to travel again.

But my expenses are gripping to me tightly. 😞

Parang gusto ko maging single ulit. Then go back to my parents' house. Pero sana yung hindi na stressful gaya dati (reason why I left home). Para sana meron matira sa sweldo ko kahit papaano. 😞

I spent 15k~/monthly for the daily cost of living (food, rent, utilities, pet). Then 50k~/monthly for the monthly loans.

God, please lead my life. Please tell me what I should continue or let go because you have other greater plans for my life. Please grant me, even a little, skills in budgeting own's money. So help me God. Amen!

Expenses that make me think about my life

When every month you think of suicide just to escape all the financial crises you're experiencing. But then, you just thought of "Bahala na po kayo God. I don't know anymore."

It's been months already since I started to think, are these things worth it? Should I continue them? Letting go Batangas or Filinvest for sure will freed me up some space so that I can start traveling again. But then again, I pray, "God, please let the way. Pls tell me whether should I continue or not. You know everything, even the best plans for my life."

When I look at the list of re-occuring monthly payment, "Ah.. I should be patient. And tiis tiis muna until next year. Some of them will be done by mid next year.

Parallel universe

Last night, I dreamt of many flings. I barely knew them but I'm pretty sure that one of them is my long time crush - crush since 3rd year highschool which I think has already imprinted to my subconscious mind since grade 5.

Then I saw her My Day today. Perfectly fits of what I was thinking for days and weeks.

Dreams

Iceland and Switzerland. My dream places to visit.

Kung sinong babae makakasama ko to either of the two places ay makakasama ko for life - either friendship, family, or romantic. 😁

Sent from my iPhone

Adulting

Bumble bff again. Hoping to meet new set of friends to hang out with.

You know that you are adulting when your friends started to disappear… 🫣

Sana naging cat nalang ako. Haha! Where are my pets though? 😣

Sent from my iPhone

I quit

Told you, you should have started moving on.
You know may mali ka rin, di lang sya.
But pinaalala lang nya sakin yung sakit naramdaman ko sa ex ko. 🫠 Yung feelings na matagal ko na kinalimutan. I should have started moving on dati pa…

Di na sya magbabago… But I'll change for the better. It's for myself, not for anyone else.

God, please show me a window/door to escape to. I don't want to be entangle with this kind of mess, so-called, "relationships". I've already abandon this years ago.

Worst case, it's either I'll leave this apartment and let them borrow/use the stuff here or they'll leave me here. No problem with me living alone. I think the only problem would be the monthly rent and utilities. 😩 So help me God.

Sent from my iPhone

To Carol

Why should I please you? I'm done with it.
I think I've had enough. And I should have already started forgetting my romantic feelings for you.
I've already started living a single life.

I no longer see a future with you. You're toxic.
I'm just waiting for the right time to finally break free. Probably next year when everything goes well?

Why should I wait till next year? Too tired to do another house moving this year. Let's do it next year when the house finally be turned over.

First, remove your name as co-owner. Then, let's break up. Then I move out. Live with your sister. I can live by myself with my furbabies.

I've been single for years so I don't mind being single again for another years. It's better to be single than to live the rest of my life with you. You're toxic. I'll put my wellness first over you.

Sent from my iPhone

I love you my Tiger

I miss you so much my biggy boy. 😭

I know that wherever you are, you are much happier and felt loved in your new family.

God, please take care of Tiger in his new life. I know animals are being reincarnated to not only give joy to humans but to teach human beings how to live and be human.

Sayang lang di naabutan ni Tiger ang paglipat namin sa permanent home namin. 🥺 Pero I think, much better yung new home nya ngayon.

Thank you God for lending Tiger to my life. I felt so much love and he taught me a lot.

Dream about your crush is exhilarating

I slept late and I woke up late today. 😅

I dreamt of my long-time crush. My crush since 2nd year HS (and unknowingly, Grade 5 too).
The feeling… of having a crush.. is exhilarating.

These might be the reasons why I dreamt of her.
1. Regret in the past that I was not able to tell her much I liked her.
2. My partner is not with me since last night. Probably missing some hugs at night. (??)

Even though, until now, I don't have any reason to tell Karla T about my past feelings. She's about to get married. And I am currently committed. Maybe, in other universe, I told her what I really felt and we clicked. Maybe. Let's just leave like that.

Sent from my iPhone

Random Thoughts

(Looking at Kuya RJ's photo with his ex having "friendly" dinner in Baguio)

Kahit na tababuy si Love ngayon, di ko sya pagpapalit sa taong nangloko sakin (ex kong cheater). 😏 I will not reconnect to cheaters/liars in any way, iwasan na ang gulo at malas. 🤪

I love my wifey. Loyal, faithful, masipag, at maalaga kahit minsan may saltik. 🥹😆

Konting tiis nalang. 😁 Sana mangyari ang goal namin: maturn over yung house namin next year. Then plan ko mag propose on the day na lumipat kami sa house. 🥹

I declare it in the name of Jesus! So help me God.

Sent from my iHeart

I’m best when I am single 🫤

I've already set aside my heart. I started putting my brain first again since 2020. Following one's heart did not do good to me. I've never learned my lesson. I've been putting my brain over heart since I was a kid and because of this, I am still breathing. I tried to put my heart first but it didn't do well to me. It just hurt me badly and I don't want to make the same mistake ever again. 🫠

I am little bit possessive that's why being in a relationship is not my forte. I am best when I am alone. Power, my top 1. Relationship, the least priority. If ever I'll be in a long term relationship again, it might be due to "marriage of convenience". I couldn't love as much as I did in the past. Romance, already tired of it. 😑

Break-up Speech

We've been close for a long time, and you're important to me. Masipag and mabait ka, though may pagkaparanoid/insecure, you're okay as a partner. But we're arguing more than we're having fun which I don't like that. Sometimes, you even don't let me know why you're mad which I hate. I took a vow that I will never please anyone anymore. Sounds selfish but this is for my well-being's sake. We also have different interests, views, and values.

So I want us to be friends instead. I'm sorry if this isn't the way you wanted things to be. I'll always be glad I got to know you.

Thank you God for saving me!

Before ko pa mabili yung engagement ring, tuluyan na nangaliwa ang ex ko nun. God saved me from the wrong person.

Not long ago, I found my right person. I've been praying for the right person for so many years. I've thought it was my ex but I was wrong.

In just less than two years of together, I've decided to propose to my partner. Kelangan ko na simulan pagipunan yung ring. 😅 Engagement ring should be worth 2-3 mos of salary they said. So it's very expensive since I am also paying monthly for our house & lot and family's beach lot. 😅 But God will help me, I know. 🙏 Thank you God for everything!

Never Again

Ang ex ay parang Marshall Law, never again. 😏

I already forgiven my last ex and has moved on. But she's like a nightmare still lingering around. Why? My mother talked about her having a baby.

I've already prayed long ago that God will remove all the memories I have with my ex. I don't wanna hear any news about her anymore. I don't wanna see her anymore. I despise her presence and acting like a ghost. I hope and I pray that she'll gone 200% from my family's mouth. She's already goner for me.

Yes, I have already forgiven her but I don't want to see/hear her presence in any way anymore! I don't wanna be involve with liars and cheaters. They are cheapstakes and losers. Now I know why her College friends wanted to stay away from her, she's full of lies. And nakakahawa ang pagiging liar. 😏

"Birds of the same feather flock together."
"An apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

I need a technology that will remove a person completely from my memories.

Itutulog ko nalang to

Stress na stress na talaga ko..

Highblood at stress na nga ko sa prof ko.. stress kapa sa nagiisang taong kasama mo sa bahay..

Ano ba tong mga pinasok ko.. I'll never enroll anymore to APC. Maling mali. I'll just treat this as nice experience. But never again..

God, please help me go through with this.

Reasons for breakup

Reasons why I want a breakup

1. Dinagdagan monthly expenses ko. Ayaw patalo sa pride nya. Ayaw mag regular work. Masaya na sya sa 5k/month na kita.
2. Hindi ako mapapakain ng pagmamahal. 70k+ ginagastos ko monthly sa mga monthly bills palang. Kasama yung mga inacquire na asset na sya nagsabi. Na akala ko hati kami. In the end, ako rin pala magbabayad lahat.
3. Total opposite. Likes ko ay dislikes nya. Likes nya, dislikes ko.
4. Different language and different kind of thinking.
5. Hindi kaya alagaan sarili. Ayaw mag diet. Hindi inaayos sarili.
6. I cannot live with a person na kontento na sa kung ano meron sya. Hindi na nangangarap pa.