I wanna go somewhere. With no rain. Then watch the sky with beautiful fireworks from a high place.
Next year, I will celebrate New Year in other country. ☺️
Monday, December 31, 2018
Sunday, December 30, 2018
My memories, suck! ๐ ๐
ใใใผ still looks like a minor, around 10-15 years of age. An adult, as she always says, that turns into a little girl when her mother is around - unable to make decisions, unable to confront, and just follow her mom's tail around. ๐
Well, I couldn't still believe her 100% when she says "I'm a full grown adult now and I will make decisions for my life." This is what she said when she asked for "me-time" but then called some ugly monkey and had sex casually with him in a motel. I cannot be as confident as I used to be. It's better to be doubtful than to be over confident. Just like what happened in one Marikina Food Park - where I thought we're enjoying the night together but was then getting flirtatious with the ugly faggot. Moreover, was chatting to me every night asking "how are you?" but then was with the ugly creature the whole night.
Lesson learned: "It's better to be doubtful at times. Being over confident with someone will only lead you to pitfalls."
Don't tell me "Why are you still not moving on?"
I am moving on! Well, try to be in my place. Cheating happened not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times. And worst cheating ever: "sex-ting" and actual sex just 5 months ago. F-r-e-s-h! ๐ Damn! Not only that, the mother was also silent about the cheating. Maybe because, she's also doing it and she's not in the right place to tell someone what's wrong or right. Damn right! ๐
Give me five years. Maybe after five years without anymore cheating, I might completely forget it. ๐
Or if you want the fastest way, have the ugly faggot get killed. That way, I will be at peace in an instant. ๐
Now, I thought again, "Why didn't I broke up with her the moment I found out that they had sex and was cheating on me that whole time?" Damn I'm too slow! Maybe my brain reflex has already died. It started to retreat last 2014. ๐ฃ What a poor little thing.
Another thought: "I wanna try to have casual sex outside my commitment." Just to know how it feels like when cheating your gf/bf. ๐ Will I feel guilty? Will I feel condemnation? Will I enjoy it knowing I am committed with someone else? What it feels like? This makes me curious sometimes. ๐ Haha!
Got to sleep. ๐
I will let God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit do the rest.
They're the only one I can trust to after all the predicaments I had in life.
They will lead me to the things and people I deserve. ☺️
Thank you God. Amen!
Well, I couldn't still believe her 100% when she says "I'm a full grown adult now and I will make decisions for my life." This is what she said when she asked for "me-time" but then called some ugly monkey and had sex casually with him in a motel. I cannot be as confident as I used to be. It's better to be doubtful than to be over confident. Just like what happened in one Marikina Food Park - where I thought we're enjoying the night together but was then getting flirtatious with the ugly faggot. Moreover, was chatting to me every night asking "how are you?" but then was with the ugly creature the whole night.
Lesson learned: "It's better to be doubtful at times. Being over confident with someone will only lead you to pitfalls."
Don't tell me "Why are you still not moving on?"
I am moving on! Well, try to be in my place. Cheating happened not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times. And worst cheating ever: "sex-ting" and actual sex just 5 months ago. F-r-e-s-h! ๐ Damn! Not only that, the mother was also silent about the cheating. Maybe because, she's also doing it and she's not in the right place to tell someone what's wrong or right. Damn right! ๐
Give me five years. Maybe after five years without anymore cheating, I might completely forget it. ๐
Or if you want the fastest way, have the ugly faggot get killed. That way, I will be at peace in an instant. ๐
Now, I thought again, "Why didn't I broke up with her the moment I found out that they had sex and was cheating on me that whole time?" Damn I'm too slow! Maybe my brain reflex has already died. It started to retreat last 2014. ๐ฃ What a poor little thing.
Another thought: "I wanna try to have casual sex outside my commitment." Just to know how it feels like when cheating your gf/bf. ๐ Will I feel guilty? Will I feel condemnation? Will I enjoy it knowing I am committed with someone else? What it feels like? This makes me curious sometimes. ๐ Haha!
Got to sleep. ๐
I will let God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit do the rest.
They're the only one I can trust to after all the predicaments I had in life.
They will lead me to the things and people I deserve. ☺️
Thank you God. Amen!
Friday, December 21, 2018
Learning from experience
Lately, I'm in this mode wherein when a person did something wrong to me and I think has not yet realized it for the moment, I will also do the same to him/her.
I'm not doing this just because I wanted to get revenge but I wanted for them to realize what they did. And one way for them to realize it is to show what and how they did it.
I observe that in this generation, people don't learn with just words. You have to show them and make them feel and experience so that they can learn.
So beware fellas! ๐ I'm not the same patient sheep you were treating the way you did before.
#HelpMeGod
I'm not doing this just because I wanted to get revenge but I wanted for them to realize what they did. And one way for them to realize it is to show what and how they did it.
I observe that in this generation, people don't learn with just words. You have to show them and make them feel and experience so that they can learn.
So beware fellas! ๐ I'm not the same patient sheep you were treating the way you did before.
#HelpMeGod
Painful memories
When I am alone..stuck in traffic, sometimes my mind wonder off.. and out of the blue, I remember the times ใใใผ cheated on me..
The times where she just told that it's a friend.
- When we ate at food park in Marikina with Rhea. Thought we're okay as ใใใผ was clingy. But the truth is she was taking pictures of us and chatting to the ugly creature. It looked like I was the kabit as she was reporting to the ugly creature.
- The picture they took at night when they were in the bridge. Same location of picture I saw taken last Dec 11, 9:52pm. Why ใไบใผ took the same location/picture?
- Pictures of her holding his hand and placed it in her lap. I couldn't remember an instance where ใใใผ took my hand to her and take photos of it. Most of the times, it's always me who get her hand and place it to my lap.
- The pictures they had in that ugly creature's phone. He even posted it in their blog. Thinking of it, they were together in most of the occasions already- all without my knowledge.
- Their blog. I don't know how to react on it. I can only think, "Ah...they might loved each other to do this kind of stuff."
- The day she had her massage and that night she asked me if we can be separated for few days as she needed time for herself. But the truth was, she met the ugly creature and had sex casually with him. This is the most devastating memory I have. I thought of "what if I stopped ใใใผ leaving that night, that thing should have not happened." But on the other side, someone is telling me that it's not my fault - it's their choice. And they did choose to commit sin.
- The day I saw the conversations in Telegram. Conversations where in how happy ใใใผ was with the sex experience. I couldn't remember any instance where I did dirty talk with ใไบใผ. This is the second most hurtful memory I have with them. Sometimes, when I recall it, I questioned myself, "why I didn't broke with ใใใผ right after I read those?" That "I should have called it quits at the time." But on the other side, someone is telling me the reason, "it's because you are too slow. Your brain processes events and circumstances very slow. It will take you days, weeks, months, or worst, years before it sink in to you." When that time has come, it's very too late to react or do something about it.
- That after these events-sex, cheating discovered-ใใใผ doesn't like initiating "lab lab" anymore. We used to but not after those last two dreadful events.
These painful memories, i don't know how to get rid of it. They say "Time heals" and I believe in it. The sex just happened last week of July 2018 so it's not that old. I think I still need more time, years for an instance. Or, maybe I should see my doctor again? This looks like a trauma to me. Or, my mind can finally be free once that ugly creature is dead.
I can't remember when my brain started processing events very late. And my brain tend to overthink things, until to the last details. Did I had a trauma? Did something happened that I resisted to understand right away?
"Change is inevitable."
"Forgive but not forget."
"Time heals."
The times where she just told that it's a friend.
- When we ate at food park in Marikina with Rhea. Thought we're okay as ใใใผ was clingy. But the truth is she was taking pictures of us and chatting to the ugly creature. It looked like I was the kabit as she was reporting to the ugly creature.
- The picture they took at night when they were in the bridge. Same location of picture I saw taken last Dec 11, 9:52pm. Why ใไบใผ took the same location/picture?
- Pictures of her holding his hand and placed it in her lap. I couldn't remember an instance where ใใใผ took my hand to her and take photos of it. Most of the times, it's always me who get her hand and place it to my lap.
- The pictures they had in that ugly creature's phone. He even posted it in their blog. Thinking of it, they were together in most of the occasions already- all without my knowledge.
- Their blog. I don't know how to react on it. I can only think, "Ah...they might loved each other to do this kind of stuff."
- The day she had her massage and that night she asked me if we can be separated for few days as she needed time for herself. But the truth was, she met the ugly creature and had sex casually with him. This is the most devastating memory I have. I thought of "what if I stopped ใใใผ leaving that night, that thing should have not happened." But on the other side, someone is telling me that it's not my fault - it's their choice. And they did choose to commit sin.
- The day I saw the conversations in Telegram. Conversations where in how happy ใใใผ was with the sex experience. I couldn't remember any instance where I did dirty talk with ใไบใผ. This is the second most hurtful memory I have with them. Sometimes, when I recall it, I questioned myself, "why I didn't broke with ใใใผ right after I read those?" That "I should have called it quits at the time." But on the other side, someone is telling me the reason, "it's because you are too slow. Your brain processes events and circumstances very slow. It will take you days, weeks, months, or worst, years before it sink in to you." When that time has come, it's very too late to react or do something about it.
- That after these events-sex, cheating discovered-ใใใผ doesn't like initiating "lab lab" anymore. We used to but not after those last two dreadful events.
These painful memories, i don't know how to get rid of it. They say "Time heals" and I believe in it. The sex just happened last week of July 2018 so it's not that old. I think I still need more time, years for an instance. Or, maybe I should see my doctor again? This looks like a trauma to me. Or, my mind can finally be free once that ugly creature is dead.
I can't remember when my brain started processing events very late. And my brain tend to overthink things, until to the last details. Did I had a trauma? Did something happened that I resisted to understand right away?
"Change is inevitable."
"Forgive but not forget."
"Time heals."
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
ใใใผใฎ special day
ใใใผ
Happy Monthsary.
First of all, sorry. Sorry for everything. I know you are running out of patience because of me. I'm too emotional and can overthink things. This is why I'm getting at your nerves. ๐ Though I'm too impatient, you still try to understand me.
Second of all, thank you. Thank you for the unconditional love. The fact that you can leave me anytime, you still didn't do it.
I still believe on what you said weeks ago, "mag-aaway pero di maghihiwalay".
I only want is your happiness. That you may find the thing that will make you happy. That you may find purpose in life that you won't have to convince yourself every day to get up just for the sake of getting up. That you may find peace in your mind and heart.
I love you.
I'm sorry. And I love you.
You are one of the best things God has happened to me. May you be His perfect choice for me.
I'm not sure until when our relationship can lasts but I hope that may we learn new things about each other each day. That we may grow old together through thick and thin.
I will do my best to always have a helping hand to you. I will do my best to provide you all the things that you need. I will do my best to serve you as my queen God has given me.
I love you my queen.
-ใใชใใฎking
Happy Monthsary.
First of all, sorry. Sorry for everything. I know you are running out of patience because of me. I'm too emotional and can overthink things. This is why I'm getting at your nerves. ๐ Though I'm too impatient, you still try to understand me.
Second of all, thank you. Thank you for the unconditional love. The fact that you can leave me anytime, you still didn't do it.
I still believe on what you said weeks ago, "mag-aaway pero di maghihiwalay".
I only want is your happiness. That you may find the thing that will make you happy. That you may find purpose in life that you won't have to convince yourself every day to get up just for the sake of getting up. That you may find peace in your mind and heart.
I love you.
I'm sorry. And I love you.
You are one of the best things God has happened to me. May you be His perfect choice for me.
I'm not sure until when our relationship can lasts but I hope that may we learn new things about each other each day. That we may grow old together through thick and thin.
I will do my best to always have a helping hand to you. I will do my best to provide you all the things that you need. I will do my best to serve you as my queen God has given me.
I love you my queen.
-ใใชใใฎking
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
I love Christmas ๐
I think I have already completed the gifts.
Now, I just need to wrap the items I just receive and need to wait for the remaining. Then I'm good. ๐
Why worry if I can pray? This is what I love - giving gifts and giving joys.
On the other side, I would love to take my mom to a beach for only a night. To set aside all the life's predicaments and just chill.
I would also love to take my partner to a 3D/2N trip to somewhere beautiful at night - Baguio she prefers. ๐
So help me God, Christ, and Holy Spirit. Please don't let me lose control of my mind and my heart. Amen!
Now, I just need to wrap the items I just receive and need to wait for the remaining. Then I'm good. ๐
Why worry if I can pray? This is what I love - giving gifts and giving joys.
On the other side, I would love to take my mom to a beach for only a night. To set aside all the life's predicaments and just chill.
I would also love to take my partner to a 3D/2N trip to somewhere beautiful at night - Baguio she prefers. ๐
So help me God, Christ, and Holy Spirit. Please don't let me lose control of my mind and my heart. Amen!
Increase thy worth
Need to improve thyself.
I gotta have MBA first.
Climb the corporate ladder.
Have own business.
Get rich.
Then become successful.
Saka na yung lovelife.
When I become a boss, I can eventually attract a boss.
"To date a boss, be a boss." ๐
Got to increase my worth. Double time.
First goals: PSM1 then MBA
I gotta have MBA first.
Climb the corporate ladder.
Have own business.
Get rich.
Then become successful.
Saka na yung lovelife.
When I become a boss, I can eventually attract a boss.
"To date a boss, be a boss." ๐
Got to increase my worth. Double time.
First goals: PSM1 then MBA
Be the best of thyself
"What do you believe in the deepest part of your being?"
At the end of the day, poker face
The feeling where you have no one to tell about your life's problems and heart aches. The feeling where you have no one who can be a listening ear.
Then you tried everything just to have some outlets of your emotions - e.g. gym.
But at the end of the day, you only have yourself. You can only cry in private while staring at the sky, asking "when it's going end?"
God, when is it going to end? When my life is going to end? I can no longer deal with everyone else and with myself. Can I have a reset? Born as a different person and start over? Or if not, just end it without any reset. Let me stay beside you instead.
Then you tried everything just to have some outlets of your emotions - e.g. gym.
But at the end of the day, you only have yourself. You can only cry in private while staring at the sky, asking "when it's going end?"
God, when is it going to end? When my life is going to end? I can no longer deal with everyone else and with myself. Can I have a reset? Born as a different person and start over? Or if not, just end it without any reset. Let me stay beside you instead.
A messy life
I talk a lot I know.
I'm not an expert when it comes to breaking up.
You know that I only had one relationship in the past.
I didn't had the opportunity to ask my ex why we broke up. It just gone in the air like bubble. No words of goodbye nor thank you.
And maybe this is the reason why I bluff a lot.
I've just seen in movies and television that people who break up, talk calmly and enumerate the things why the relationship needs to end.
*sigh*
Well, maybe I'm not ready yet to handle a partner who is so young. I'm already at the age where I want to be independent and achieve a lot while my partner is at the age who still want to have fun and live a "single" life.
A partner who is an only child and so free while me as an eldest and has lots of responsibilities that I'm dying to break out of. Well, maybe I was born and raised like this - bossy, planner, dominant, impatient, etc. And I think, a partner that complements me is someone who can tame me. Someone who doesn't like clashing nor arguments and will initiate calm conversations with me instead.
Well, it's all just well.
I really wanted to go to a very far away place. Place where no one knows me. A place where I can start over and introduce a new me.
If I couldn't do it, is ending one's life a good alternative? I guess so.
When you can no longer continue the story, an easy option is to kill the main cast.
So help me God.
I'm not an expert when it comes to breaking up.
You know that I only had one relationship in the past.
I didn't had the opportunity to ask my ex why we broke up. It just gone in the air like bubble. No words of goodbye nor thank you.
And maybe this is the reason why I bluff a lot.
I've just seen in movies and television that people who break up, talk calmly and enumerate the things why the relationship needs to end.
*sigh*
Well, maybe I'm not ready yet to handle a partner who is so young. I'm already at the age where I want to be independent and achieve a lot while my partner is at the age who still want to have fun and live a "single" life.
A partner who is an only child and so free while me as an eldest and has lots of responsibilities that I'm dying to break out of. Well, maybe I was born and raised like this - bossy, planner, dominant, impatient, etc. And I think, a partner that complements me is someone who can tame me. Someone who doesn't like clashing nor arguments and will initiate calm conversations with me instead.
Well, it's all just well.
I really wanted to go to a very far away place. Place where no one knows me. A place where I can start over and introduce a new me.
If I couldn't do it, is ending one's life a good alternative? I guess so.
When you can no longer continue the story, an easy option is to kill the main cast.
So help me God.
Monday, December 10, 2018
Freedom, I beg
I'm bored. I wanna go to a far place and stay there for atleast 5 days without communication from the outside world. I don't want to hear or see, even for a moment, my family, my friends, and my current romantic relationship.
Even for a moment, I don't wanna think how fucking life is.
How my mother looks at me and only see money.
How my current romantic relationship takes me for granted.
How my current company sucks for not compensating what I deserve.
How sucks it is to work my ass of for others just to get by everyday.
How sucks it is to kill thyself to work in a corporate world and be called "employee" or slave.
How damn boring and unfair this life is.
I wanna go to a far away island/beach where I can only do are stare afar, take a deep breathe, and not think anything.
I'm fucked already!
I wanna be free! I wanna be free!
Free me!
-----
God,
Holy Spirit,
Christ,
you there?
Free me please.
Rove the Billionaire
Since Oct 2018, I am already at the verge wherein I don't mind if my partner will call it quits. I'm no longer holding tight nor letting go, just sitting pretty. ๐ Also the reason why I tell my current partner to think carefully if she still needs me or if she still needs this relationship to go on.
I should always be thinking of myself, my wellness, and my plans in life. I should keep on thinking that I need to be successful and rich from now on so that in the future, I'll get to find the woman I will marry with and grow old with. If needed, think like single - invest with myself, invest in my own financials, save for myself, don't overspend for partners, etc.
So help me God. Christ and Holy Spirit, please guide me to the path where you wanted me to be. I love you and thank you.
I should always be thinking of myself, my wellness, and my plans in life. I should keep on thinking that I need to be successful and rich from now on so that in the future, I'll get to find the woman I will marry with and grow old with. If needed, think like single - invest with myself, invest in my own financials, save for myself, don't overspend for partners, etc.
So help me God. Christ and Holy Spirit, please guide me to the path where you wanted me to be. I love you and thank you.
Tss ๐
Don't ever think na ikaw lang sunud sunuran satin. Dahil kahit ako, sunud sunuran sa lahat ng gusto mo. Kahit broke na, G lang, masunod ka lang, ma-please ka lang. Why am I doing this in the first place? As if I am already married to do all these stuffs.
Tss. ๐
Tss. ๐
Saturday, December 08, 2018
My heart rate reached 104 ๐คฌ
Kahapon pa ko busit na busit sa nanay ko. Puro reklamo at paringgan. Hindi na natigil. Hanggang pag-ddrive ko, bulyaw parin ng bulyaw. Rindi na rindi na ko sa mga reklamo nya. ๐คฌ
I really need to get a new job ASAP and leave this hell place. Well, the place is not hell except it's becoming hellish because of some people who only know is to complaint at magparinig. These people only brings negative and bad vibes. You know how absorbent I am when it comes to negative vibes. This is why as much as possible, I don't want to hear nor see any negative things.
Puro pera pera pera! Yan ang bukang bibig ng nanay ko. Gusto ko nalang sya i-disown dahil sa puro "pera" ang lumalabas sa bibig nya.
I need to set off ASAP. Magsama sila ng unico hijo nya. Dun sya magparinig na magparinig hangga't gusto nya. Tutal naman, hindi naman counted lahat ng contributions ko sa bahay. Magiging counted lang yun kapag cash binigay mo - cold cash. Mga material things like internet, sumasalo sa overcharging nya sa plan nya, pasalubong na pagkain, and other simple stuff sa mga bata, etc, they are never be counted. Dahil puro pera lang nasa paningin nya.
Kaya kapag ako nanalo sa kung ano man, bibigyan ko sya ng 10 million at lalayas na ko. Bayad sa lahat ng pagpapakain, pagpapa-aral, at mga araw na nagrereklamo sya na wala ako pera binibigay.
Sana lang talaga marealize nya lahat ng pinang-gagawa nya sa buhay hangga't maaga pa. Ang galing galing nya makisama sa ibang tao pero pagdating sa mga anak nya na nagtitiis sa kanya, wala. Bulag bulagan sa mali. Naghahanap ng butas sa tama.
God bless her!
I really need to get a new job ASAP and leave this hell place. Well, the place is not hell except it's becoming hellish because of some people who only know is to complaint at magparinig. These people only brings negative and bad vibes. You know how absorbent I am when it comes to negative vibes. This is why as much as possible, I don't want to hear nor see any negative things.
Puro pera pera pera! Yan ang bukang bibig ng nanay ko. Gusto ko nalang sya i-disown dahil sa puro "pera" ang lumalabas sa bibig nya.
I need to set off ASAP. Magsama sila ng unico hijo nya. Dun sya magparinig na magparinig hangga't gusto nya. Tutal naman, hindi naman counted lahat ng contributions ko sa bahay. Magiging counted lang yun kapag cash binigay mo - cold cash. Mga material things like internet, sumasalo sa overcharging nya sa plan nya, pasalubong na pagkain, and other simple stuff sa mga bata, etc, they are never be counted. Dahil puro pera lang nasa paningin nya.
Kaya kapag ako nanalo sa kung ano man, bibigyan ko sya ng 10 million at lalayas na ko. Bayad sa lahat ng pagpapakain, pagpapa-aral, at mga araw na nagrereklamo sya na wala ako pera binibigay.
Sana lang talaga marealize nya lahat ng pinang-gagawa nya sa buhay hangga't maaga pa. Ang galing galing nya makisama sa ibang tao pero pagdating sa mga anak nya na nagtitiis sa kanya, wala. Bulag bulagan sa mali. Naghahanap ng butas sa tama.
God bless her!
Friday, November 23, 2018
The beginning is always the hardest.
Ang hirap kumita. Naiiyak ako. ๐ฃ
Haha! Mag-abroad nalang kaya ko... kahit factory worker, ok lang.
No increase for 2yrs+. Malabo promotion dahil wala budget company.
Increasing expenses.
May sidelines na pero wala parin. Hirap kumuha customers.
Gugulangan kapa ng Credit Card mo.
*sigh*
Haha! Mag-abroad nalang kaya ko... kahit factory worker, ok lang.
No increase for 2yrs+. Malabo promotion dahil wala budget company.
Increasing expenses.
May sidelines na pero wala parin. Hirap kumuha customers.
Gugulangan kapa ng Credit Card mo.
*sigh*
Saturday, November 17, 2018
Goal!
Yo!
Had my first experience in AF. All are new. And looks like the member count is still below 40 - I saw in the white board where Ms Cherry wrote my name. Guess what I only did? Running and spinning. ๐๐ It's because I spent only an hour. ๐ I want to discover and try other tools there. I will tomorrow. ๐ I will meet my coach tomorrow. She will assess me and provide me program to follow - with no added fee! And what I also like about this gym is that I can request for re-assessment and program every 6 weeks. And all for free! ๐ Another thing, I can access global branches after my one month in the branch I signed up. ๐
—-
On the other hand, I saw a pretty woman there. ๐๐๐คฃ What was I doing?! I should be only working out. ๐๐คฃ๐ Well, I just saw. I didn't take a third look nor tried to get close. Well, I did second look to check if she is really pretty. And she is quite strong - doing weights. ๐ฑ Anyway, I don't have any intention to get close to any of them. ๐
My goal is to improve my mental health and physical health. ☺️ I don't care if I'll get broke by joining to this club. #Yolo
Anyway, ใใฃ doesn't depend on me anymore. I have no desire working hard for her anymore. I will work harder for myself and for my fur babies.
I got to BE A BOSS so that I can DATE A BOSS. ๐
And to be a boss, I need to be mentally and physically fit. Also, I should be secured financially. With that, beautiful and independent women will come to me. Then I will just choose. Or have them all! Why not? As long as I can make time for them and can support them financially. ๐๐๐คฃ
God, please help and guide me. Thank you Holy Spirit and Christ for keeping me safe all the time despite all the possible accidents I had. ☺️ I love you all!
Rove the Boss! I declare to the universe!
Rove the Billionaire! I declare to the universe!
Had my first experience in AF. All are new. And looks like the member count is still below 40 - I saw in the white board where Ms Cherry wrote my name. Guess what I only did? Running and spinning. ๐๐ It's because I spent only an hour. ๐ I want to discover and try other tools there. I will tomorrow. ๐ I will meet my coach tomorrow. She will assess me and provide me program to follow - with no added fee! And what I also like about this gym is that I can request for re-assessment and program every 6 weeks. And all for free! ๐ Another thing, I can access global branches after my one month in the branch I signed up. ๐
—-
On the other hand, I saw a pretty woman there. ๐๐๐คฃ What was I doing?! I should be only working out. ๐๐คฃ๐ Well, I just saw. I didn't take a third look nor tried to get close. Well, I did second look to check if she is really pretty. And she is quite strong - doing weights. ๐ฑ Anyway, I don't have any intention to get close to any of them. ๐
My goal is to improve my mental health and physical health. ☺️ I don't care if I'll get broke by joining to this club. #Yolo
Anyway, ใใฃ doesn't depend on me anymore. I have no desire working hard for her anymore. I will work harder for myself and for my fur babies.
I got to BE A BOSS so that I can DATE A BOSS. ๐
And to be a boss, I need to be mentally and physically fit. Also, I should be secured financially. With that, beautiful and independent women will come to me. Then I will just choose. Or have them all! Why not? As long as I can make time for them and can support them financially. ๐๐๐คฃ
God, please help and guide me. Thank you Holy Spirit and Christ for keeping me safe all the time despite all the possible accidents I had. ☺️ I love you all!
Rove the Boss! I declare to the universe!
Rove the Billionaire! I declare to the universe!
Good distractions
Haha! Hope it will do me good. I just need some distractions. And I can see that people like hanging out with people who go to the gym - ใใฃ is the living proof. ๐
Also, I want to feel good. And attract positive people.
God, help me forget this feeling of sadness and instead, spend more time working out.
Thank you God for not leaving me alone.
My precious babies
Pets are really lovable. They love unconditionally. And this what they want to teach their hoomans.
May kailangan man kayo or wala, you are always there for me. My babies. I will love you unconditionally just like what you are doing to me. Thank you for the precious time you give to me. I will work harder to give you a brighter future. I will not let you down. ☺️ I promise.
—-
Thank you God for my babies. Help me learn the things you wanted me to learn through them.
Maybe it’s time
Haha! Funny.
She's already planning her future without FYI-ing me. Haha! Maybe I'm just nothing to her. Haha! Silly Rove. You just realized it now? ๐ You are so slow!
Maybe I should start planning MY future without FYI-ing her too.
Maybe for her, matagal na kaming hiwalay. At ako nalang ang nagiisip na kami pa. ๐๐คฃ๐ I'm gonna spank you Rove if that's the case. It's because, YOU ARE TOOO SLOOOOOOW~!!!!
Move on Rove! Start moving on!!!
She's already planning her future without FYI-ing me. Haha! Maybe I'm just nothing to her. Haha! Silly Rove. You just realized it now? ๐ You are so slow!
Maybe I should start planning MY future without FYI-ing her too.
Maybe for her, matagal na kaming hiwalay. At ako nalang ang nagiisip na kami pa. ๐๐คฃ๐ I'm gonna spank you Rove if that's the case. It's because, YOU ARE TOOO SLOOOOOOW~!!!!
Move on Rove! Start moving on!!!
Weekend
About ใใใผ...
I know she is enjoying her time now. ☺️ And it's good. Though I know the reason why she wanted to sleep at condo Friday night. It's because she went home 2-3am. She wanted to go to a comedy bar with her friend. And condo is the nearest place she has. The negative is, she didn't went to her review the next day because of this decision. Anyway, it's her life. I don't wanna nag her anymore nor tell her that "missing her classes because she had fun last night" is bad. Nothing is bad. Being bad is just a perception.
—-
I'm sad I know. But I can't stop someone's happiness just to lessen my sadness. Minalas lang ako that we are not on the same wavelength. Maybe she's too young. I'm on the age of thinking about future already. Moving in and live with the person I love like we are already married. Planning about our future together - not solo plans. But she's on the other side. 23 is such a young age. She still couldn't live without her parents. She still choose friends over her partner. She plans on her own and not plan as a couple.
Well, I was just not lucky. Maybe I met her too early? Or we met at the wrong time? Or we met the wrong person? I don't know. Only fate and time can say.
I'm just sad as my life was circling around her which should not be the case. I assumed we are "married". And because of this assumptions, I'm heartbroken.
"Assumptions lead to pitfalls and heartaches."
Anyway, I should learn again how to live like a single person. ๐ I don't have numbers of friends anymore. Maybe I'm an adult already? Or my close friends are busy spending time with their partners. Hey! I'm already in the age where all people get married and have kids. And I can count only by my 10 fingers the people who are still single and ready to mingle. ๐ Where are you guys.. Don't over work.. Let's go out and have some fun. I'll drink hard liquors if you want.
—-
I met new friends online but they just stay as online. ๐ *sigh* One of these friends is spending time in gym. I need new hobby even it requires money, I'm down. Maybe, I should also hit the gym? I'll check the nearest Anytime Fitness here. I need something to cloud my mind. And maybe, meet new friends to hang out with.
—-
Do something Rove. Let her be. She has her own life. Have fun Rove. Do all the things that will make you busy. For now, stop planning adventures with her. You will only suffer. Start planning adventures with just yourself. You can do it! ๐
So help me God.
I know she is enjoying her time now. ☺️ And it's good. Though I know the reason why she wanted to sleep at condo Friday night. It's because she went home 2-3am. She wanted to go to a comedy bar with her friend. And condo is the nearest place she has. The negative is, she didn't went to her review the next day because of this decision. Anyway, it's her life. I don't wanna nag her anymore nor tell her that "missing her classes because she had fun last night" is bad. Nothing is bad. Being bad is just a perception.
—-
I'm sad I know. But I can't stop someone's happiness just to lessen my sadness. Minalas lang ako that we are not on the same wavelength. Maybe she's too young. I'm on the age of thinking about future already. Moving in and live with the person I love like we are already married. Planning about our future together - not solo plans. But she's on the other side. 23 is such a young age. She still couldn't live without her parents. She still choose friends over her partner. She plans on her own and not plan as a couple.
Well, I was just not lucky. Maybe I met her too early? Or we met at the wrong time? Or we met the wrong person? I don't know. Only fate and time can say.
I'm just sad as my life was circling around her which should not be the case. I assumed we are "married". And because of this assumptions, I'm heartbroken.
"Assumptions lead to pitfalls and heartaches."
Anyway, I should learn again how to live like a single person. ๐ I don't have numbers of friends anymore. Maybe I'm an adult already? Or my close friends are busy spending time with their partners. Hey! I'm already in the age where all people get married and have kids. And I can count only by my 10 fingers the people who are still single and ready to mingle. ๐ Where are you guys.. Don't over work.. Let's go out and have some fun. I'll drink hard liquors if you want.
—-
I met new friends online but they just stay as online. ๐ *sigh* One of these friends is spending time in gym. I need new hobby even it requires money, I'm down. Maybe, I should also hit the gym? I'll check the nearest Anytime Fitness here. I need something to cloud my mind. And maybe, meet new friends to hang out with.
—-
Do something Rove. Let her be. She has her own life. Have fun Rove. Do all the things that will make you busy. For now, stop planning adventures with her. You will only suffer. Start planning adventures with just yourself. You can do it! ๐
So help me God.
#ChillLife ๐
I know I'm not okay.
This is why I tone down the way I talk and very selective to the words I say.
I know something's wrong.
Well, I had a solo club party awhile ago.
At the rooftop, played club/edm/tramp music.
Then danced the way I used to.
Danced under the clear sky with so many stars above.
Danced in a cold night.
Feeling like I was the only person in the world.
It was a very good feeling.
Especially there are added two cold beers.
I didn't feel ashamed nor shy about it.
My mind was free.
Just danced to the music all the way.
And some interruptions with few people. ๐
Anyway, I like it.
I will do it every weekend. ๐
Clear sky + lots of stars + cold night + EDM/Club music + cold beers ๐ #chill #breakaway
This is why I tone down the way I talk and very selective to the words I say.
I know something's wrong.
Well, I had a solo club party awhile ago.
At the rooftop, played club/edm/tramp music.
Then danced the way I used to.
Danced under the clear sky with so many stars above.
Danced in a cold night.
Feeling like I was the only person in the world.
It was a very good feeling.
Especially there are added two cold beers.
I didn't feel ashamed nor shy about it.
My mind was free.
Just danced to the music all the way.
And some interruptions with few people. ๐
Anyway, I like it.
I will do it every weekend. ๐
Clear sky + lots of stars + cold night + EDM/Club music + cold beers ๐ #chill #breakaway
Friday, November 16, 2018
Your life
I don't want you to feel this way.
I don't want you to have depression.
Let's have a heart-to-heart and serious discussion.
Let's talk about your life.
Let's talk about your plans.
Let's plan the things that are favorable to you.
I will gladly help you. Whatever it is.
Even it will cost breakup.
I will help you.
We are friends anyway. ☺️
--------
On the other hand, it's Friday!
I wanna go to Bancheto and eat like it's my last day. Haha!
Then buy a very cold beer and have a relaxing night at the rooftop.
(It's time to test the 2 person tent I bought. Waha!)
I don't want you to have depression.
Let's have a heart-to-heart and serious discussion.
Let's talk about your life.
Let's talk about your plans.
Let's plan the things that are favorable to you.
I will gladly help you. Whatever it is.
Even it will cost breakup.
I will help you.
We are friends anyway. ☺️
--------
On the other hand, it's Friday!
I wanna go to Bancheto and eat like it's my last day. Haha!
Then buy a very cold beer and have a relaxing night at the rooftop.
(It's time to test the 2 person tent I bought. Waha!)
Be successful!
Work your ass Rove!
Be fucking rich!
In 10 years, you should be already millionaire!
In 20 years, you should be already billionaire!
When you do, I tell you, you don't have to beg for someone's attention. They will chase you and beg you just for you to smile at them. Beautiful and respectable women all over the world will kill each other just to be with you. Always remember that!
Now, let her be.
—-
Be fucking rich!
In 10 years, you should be already millionaire!
In 20 years, you should be already billionaire!
When you do, I tell you, you don't have to beg for someone's attention. They will chase you and beg you just for you to smile at them. Beautiful and respectable women all over the world will kill each other just to be with you. Always remember that!
Now, let her be.
—-
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
Never expect
If the person shows s/he does not depend on you or doesn't need you, then do all the things that will spoil you. Spoiled yourself to the max!
Who cares? It's yours! You don't need to limit yourself. Buy everything that will make you enjoy the moment. ๐
Again, a gentle reminder from yourself, "don't squish hard yourself to someone". There might be people who have a better appreciation of your existence. ☺️ They need it.
"Ignore the people who ignore you. And go to people who like you around." This is what I've been teaching you Rove for the longest time.
Thank you myself! ☺️
Who cares? It's yours! You don't need to limit yourself. Buy everything that will make you enjoy the moment. ๐
Again, a gentle reminder from yourself, "don't squish hard yourself to someone". There might be people who have a better appreciation of your existence. ☺️ They need it.
"Ignore the people who ignore you. And go to people who like you around." This is what I've been teaching you Rove for the longest time.
Thank you myself! ☺️
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Problems? Bring it on!
God, you are really testing my patience huh?
Haha! Bring it on!
You're testing me if I will give in to emotions. No I'm not! I resist! I will not go back to my medication again. Haha! ๐ I will not let anyone ruin my stability. I don't wanna go back to my sickness.
Work hard, play hard! ๐
All the life predicaments, bring it on God.
I can overcome them all because You are there.
You are there. Jesus Christ is there. The Holy Spirit is there. So why should I be afraid? As long as you are there, I will not give in. ๐
Thank you God! I love you!
Amen!
Sent from my iPhone
Haha! Bring it on!
You're testing me if I will give in to emotions. No I'm not! I resist! I will not go back to my medication again. Haha! ๐ I will not let anyone ruin my stability. I don't wanna go back to my sickness.
Work hard, play hard! ๐
All the life predicaments, bring it on God.
I can overcome them all because You are there.
You are there. Jesus Christ is there. The Holy Spirit is there. So why should I be afraid? As long as you are there, I will not give in. ๐
Thank you God! I love you!
Amen!
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, November 12, 2018
My blood..it’s going up
Haay nako. Napaka-isip bata.
Sino ba nagsabi at nagdecide na umuwi ka sa condo?
Sino ba nagsabi na namimiss na nya pamilya nya kaya nya gusto magstay dun for a week?
I just respected that decision.
Matanda kana. Alam mo na dapat mga ginagawa mo.
Haaay. Ayaw ko na magsabi na "told you so". Gusto ko panindigan mo mga decision mo sa buhay.
Una sa lahat, kung gutom ka. Kumain ka dyan. Andyan ka sa bahay mo. Ano ba magagawa ko kung gutom ka? Sasabihin ko lang sayo na "kumain ka". Wala ka dito para abutan kita ng pagkain.
Pangalawa, kung hindi ka kinakausap ng pamilya mo dyan. It's not my fault. You chose that and decided about that. I will never talk to them just to tell them na kausapin ka. You are old enough to know things.
Thirdly, kung pagod ka, rest. Hindi yung pagkabadtrip mo sa buong mundo ay trip na trip mo ibuhos sakin sa pamamagitan ng pagtatampo. I'm not crazy anymore to run to you this late night just to give you food, tell you to clean up, and rest.
Grow up for God's sake!
-----
Basta you already know my condition. Since you're going to stay there for a week and those people in your condo assume that we're fighting, never ever let that f***ing ugly faggot go there. Or else, pagbubuhulin ko kayong tatlo nila Jae. -_-" And remember what told you, "One more cheating and I'm done."
-----
Rove is not playing anymore. There are a lot of things an adult like me should start thinking and start doing. And playing around and acting like a kid should not be part of it.
Sino ba nagsabi at nagdecide na umuwi ka sa condo?
Sino ba nagsabi na namimiss na nya pamilya nya kaya nya gusto magstay dun for a week?
I just respected that decision.
Matanda kana. Alam mo na dapat mga ginagawa mo.
Haaay. Ayaw ko na magsabi na "told you so". Gusto ko panindigan mo mga decision mo sa buhay.
Una sa lahat, kung gutom ka. Kumain ka dyan. Andyan ka sa bahay mo. Ano ba magagawa ko kung gutom ka? Sasabihin ko lang sayo na "kumain ka". Wala ka dito para abutan kita ng pagkain.
Pangalawa, kung hindi ka kinakausap ng pamilya mo dyan. It's not my fault. You chose that and decided about that. I will never talk to them just to tell them na kausapin ka. You are old enough to know things.
Thirdly, kung pagod ka, rest. Hindi yung pagkabadtrip mo sa buong mundo ay trip na trip mo ibuhos sakin sa pamamagitan ng pagtatampo. I'm not crazy anymore to run to you this late night just to give you food, tell you to clean up, and rest.
Grow up for God's sake!
-----
Basta you already know my condition. Since you're going to stay there for a week and those people in your condo assume that we're fighting, never ever let that f***ing ugly faggot go there. Or else, pagbubuhulin ko kayong tatlo nila Jae. -_-" And remember what told you, "One more cheating and I'm done."
-----
Rove is not playing anymore. There are a lot of things an adult like me should start thinking and start doing. And playing around and acting like a kid should not be part of it.
Saturday, November 10, 2018
Too much drama
With all the dramas and stuff. I don't like it anymore!
I'm fed up.!
People's problems, why should I care in the first place.?
I'm just adding stress to my life. ☺️
I'm fed up.!
People's problems, why should I care in the first place.?
I'm just adding stress to my life. ☺️
Thursday, November 08, 2018
Women are full of dramas
I don't have time for anyone's bullshit and dramas.
Don't treat me as if I cannot live by myself.
I'm used to it. I can live by myself without depending to anyone.
I just don't like meddling with people who are undergoing some drama, then pour unto me their angst, frustration in life, and shout at me whenever they like.
I bet people won't like it if I bring back to them their shitness. So as early as possible, never let me absorb all your negativity and bad vibes. You will never like the consequence I bet. ๐
Don't treat me as if I cannot live by myself.
I'm used to it. I can live by myself without depending to anyone.
I just don't like meddling with people who are undergoing some drama, then pour unto me their angst, frustration in life, and shout at me whenever they like.
I bet people won't like it if I bring back to them their shitness. So as early as possible, never let me absorb all your negativity and bad vibes. You will never like the consequence I bet. ๐
First business
Nov 4, we founded our travel company.
I updated my existing FB page.
Created services.
Created our first tour, Calaguas.
Started promoting the page to friends.
Hopefully, people who expressed their desire to join on Nov 30 won't back out. And we are still lacking 3 people. I hope and I pray that before that week, we are able to get the final three joiners.
So help us God! Thank you! Amen!
Sent from my iPhone
I updated my existing FB page.
Created services.
Created our first tour, Calaguas.
Started promoting the page to friends.
Hopefully, people who expressed their desire to join on Nov 30 won't back out. And we are still lacking 3 people. I hope and I pray that before that week, we are able to get the final three joiners.
So help us God! Thank you! Amen!
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Very very very long day ๐
Had a very long day. *bow*
Woke up 9am to prepare and went to BPI Sta Lucia. Waited for few minutes before BPI opened. Took a normal number but it ended up to have forever. This is why I took another number but from PXX. After 10:11pm (taken first number) until 10:50s (finished withdrawal), went to Unionbank in Karangalan. It took me only around 30mins from getting number until number was called to finish bills payment. Met Ate Deth also to get the 200 from her. ๐
It didn't ended here yet. I went to Hyper and pay for Dragonpay. Only took me around 15mins in the waiting line. Met with my parents to exchange cars. Mom was buying turon then I asked for 50pesos for breaded chicken meal. ๐๐๐
After the car exchange, went to BDO to deposit another payment. Then went back to Hyper and did some groceries.
Then went back home. Whew~
But wait, there's more!
Washed the canister I bought. I thought 1600ml can contain 1.6kg milk powder. ๐ I was wrong. There are still left in the original case of milk powder. I then ate my brunch. Went to room, and swept the floor. Took one of the camping mat and prepared for a work environment - sat on the floor while working. My butt hurt during the long hours of sitting. ๐ซ I finally then realize I need to stand up from time to time. This includes visiting my niece from the other room, looking for Tiger and Api, and getting milk downstairs. By the way, looks like Roshi is not a fan of milk. ๐ He just tasted it then went away. And it looks like Roshi is afraid of me. ๐ Maybe because of our long bathe session. ๐
Work. I almost forgot the one report I send to the big boss monthly. ๐ After creating it, combined it to the other report (just started this month) to remove duplicates.
Also, it's Kai's birthday! I prepared a simple gift for her. I asked for birthday greetings from our teammates, printed it out, then pasted to the card. ๐๐ Sorry my handwriting sucks. ๐คฃ๐๐คฃ
Also, while working awhile ago, I created a profile in workabroad.ph. When my new manager didn't permit me to take WFH knowing that SG employees are "forever WFH", I had this "hugot" and told myself, "it's time to leave." But then, I reminded myself not to frustrate myself if I cannot still see new opportunities outside DXC. I'll just do what I can do without pressuring myself - or else, there's a risk that my sickness may come back. ๐ So to avoid other expenses, I need to calm myself and always tell myself to "reject all the bad vibes" and "smile". ๐
My ใใใผ arrived home around 11pm. She had dinner with a close friend. ☺️ Hope she enjoyed it. She might have bad days that's why she's so frustrated and gets easily irritated to me. Well. I don't want to absorb the negativity for the sake of my mental wellness. Just have to let her be. She'll soon be calm and think of ways not to get easily irritated with "undelightful circumstances". ๐ Help her God.
Well, I am still here ใใใผ. ☺️ Just don't get too much angry to me always... I still don't know yet how long my patience is. ๐
—
Thank you God for everything! Thank you for the blessings. Thank you for keeping me alive. Thank you for keeping my love ones safe and sound. ☺️ Amen!
Woke up 9am to prepare and went to BPI Sta Lucia. Waited for few minutes before BPI opened. Took a normal number but it ended up to have forever. This is why I took another number but from PXX. After 10:11pm (taken first number) until 10:50s (finished withdrawal), went to Unionbank in Karangalan. It took me only around 30mins from getting number until number was called to finish bills payment. Met Ate Deth also to get the 200 from her. ๐
It didn't ended here yet. I went to Hyper and pay for Dragonpay. Only took me around 15mins in the waiting line. Met with my parents to exchange cars. Mom was buying turon then I asked for 50pesos for breaded chicken meal. ๐๐๐
After the car exchange, went to BDO to deposit another payment. Then went back to Hyper and did some groceries.
Then went back home. Whew~
But wait, there's more!
Washed the canister I bought. I thought 1600ml can contain 1.6kg milk powder. ๐ I was wrong. There are still left in the original case of milk powder. I then ate my brunch. Went to room, and swept the floor. Took one of the camping mat and prepared for a work environment - sat on the floor while working. My butt hurt during the long hours of sitting. ๐ซ I finally then realize I need to stand up from time to time. This includes visiting my niece from the other room, looking for Tiger and Api, and getting milk downstairs. By the way, looks like Roshi is not a fan of milk. ๐ He just tasted it then went away. And it looks like Roshi is afraid of me. ๐ Maybe because of our long bathe session. ๐
Work. I almost forgot the one report I send to the big boss monthly. ๐ After creating it, combined it to the other report (just started this month) to remove duplicates.
Also, it's Kai's birthday! I prepared a simple gift for her. I asked for birthday greetings from our teammates, printed it out, then pasted to the card. ๐๐ Sorry my handwriting sucks. ๐คฃ๐๐คฃ
Also, while working awhile ago, I created a profile in workabroad.ph. When my new manager didn't permit me to take WFH knowing that SG employees are "forever WFH", I had this "hugot" and told myself, "it's time to leave." But then, I reminded myself not to frustrate myself if I cannot still see new opportunities outside DXC. I'll just do what I can do without pressuring myself - or else, there's a risk that my sickness may come back. ๐ So to avoid other expenses, I need to calm myself and always tell myself to "reject all the bad vibes" and "smile". ๐
My ใใใผ arrived home around 11pm. She had dinner with a close friend. ☺️ Hope she enjoyed it. She might have bad days that's why she's so frustrated and gets easily irritated to me. Well. I don't want to absorb the negativity for the sake of my mental wellness. Just have to let her be. She'll soon be calm and think of ways not to get easily irritated with "undelightful circumstances". ๐ Help her God.
Well, I am still here ใใใผ. ☺️ Just don't get too much angry to me always... I still don't know yet how long my patience is. ๐
—
Thank you God for everything! Thank you for the blessings. Thank you for keeping me alive. Thank you for keeping my love ones safe and sound. ☺️ Amen!
Saturday, October 27, 2018
Simple rule
I will not make a big deal out of it.
I don't initiate a conversation with someone who curse at my face. E.g. "punyeta ka"
I don't say sorry to the person if I didn't do anything wrong.
It's not pride, it's called self-respect.
I don't initiate a conversation with someone who curse at my face. E.g. "punyeta ka"
I don't say sorry to the person if I didn't do anything wrong.
It's not pride, it's called self-respect.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
The current
I may look like selfish but it's not bad to be selfish at times, especially when you don't want negativity devours you. And most of all, when you don't want to pamper anyone and not teach independency.
That's why don't blame me if I take my hands-off most of the times. ๐คซ
And this is what I wanna teach them. I will only say my advices but it should be up to them how will they drive their life.
The perfect level of maturity, this is what everyone needs. This does not exclude me. I need to be mature enough in all aspects of life.
And lastly,
๐ “Faith moves mountains.” ๐
Maturity, independency, education, will, and power will not take anyone to their success and purpose without faith in Him.
——-
God, please show us the purpose you have laid upon our life since the beginning. Christ, please be our shepherd and lead our way to the right path and doors.
Thank you for the continuous love and blessings. I love you. Amen!
Monday, October 22, 2018
I cast it all upon You
God,
I cast all my worries upon you.
I worry about Api. It's been days. I pray that you touch the heart of the person who got him. May s/he return Api back to us. I am willing to give any in exchange.
I'm not worrying but this thing wanted to get in the picture. This CPI doesn't want to give up from juicing us. Hope that they won't cheat and work in honesty as karma will get them fast.
My goal. My purpose in life. What is it? This makes me worry too. What do you want me to do in life, God? Please show me my purpose in life. I don't wanna wander off anymore.
Let Your will thy done. Please don't let your children fight with each other just because of money and selfishness. Please release us all from the selfishness of this world. Let Your love cleanse and cover us all.
Amen!
I cast all my worries upon you.
I worry about Api. It's been days. I pray that you touch the heart of the person who got him. May s/he return Api back to us. I am willing to give any in exchange.
I'm not worrying but this thing wanted to get in the picture. This CPI doesn't want to give up from juicing us. Hope that they won't cheat and work in honesty as karma will get them fast.
My goal. My purpose in life. What is it? This makes me worry too. What do you want me to do in life, God? Please show me my purpose in life. I don't wanna wander off anymore.
Let Your will thy done. Please don't let your children fight with each other just because of money and selfishness. Please release us all from the selfishness of this world. Let Your love cleanse and cover us all.
Amen!
Sunday, October 21, 2018
Unending patience, I need
When having long patience is your weakness. ๐
How to deal..
Ignore?
Poker face?
Just let it go. Don't overthink.
Just do the usual stuff. ๐
——-
Dear God,
Please give me unending patience. Thank you.
Amen!
How to deal..
Ignore?
Poker face?
Just let it go. Don't overthink.
Just do the usual stuff. ๐
——-
Dear God,
Please give me unending patience. Thank you.
Amen!
Saturday, October 20, 2018
๐ญ
Api is missing. I don't care other things anymore aside from my health and Api. ๐ญ
Api, come back. I now know what to do with you.
Please come home Api.
God, please keep Api safe and lead him back to us. Whatever it takes, I will do it. Thank you. Amen!
Api, come back. I now know what to do with you.
Please come home Api.
God, please keep Api safe and lead him back to us. Whatever it takes, I will do it. Thank you. Amen!
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
A fun 5-day trip with ใไบใผ
Macau-Hong Kong trip with ใไบใผ has now concluded.
I hope ใใใผ enjoyed it because I enjoyed it too. It was the first time I had a 5-day trip with my special someone. ๐๐
Though it was tiring because of so many walks and "amazing race", our stomachs were filled with joy because of good food.
I hope it was a good opportunity for us to know more about each other. ๐
For more trips and celebrations together~!!!
I hope ใใใผ enjoyed it because I enjoyed it too. It was the first time I had a 5-day trip with my special someone. ๐๐
Though it was tiring because of so many walks and "amazing race", our stomachs were filled with joy because of good food.
I hope it was a good opportunity for us to know more about each other. ๐
For more trips and celebrations together~!!!
Saturday, October 13, 2018
Less words, less mistakes
Sometimes, it's better not to talk anymore.
Less words, less mistakes.
Let's just stay this way, Rove.
Don't decide, don't suggest, don't talk.
Less words, less mistakes.
Let's just stay this way, Rove.
Don't decide, don't suggest, don't talk.
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Sometimes I wonder...
Sometimes I wonder...
Why there are more males who hate me (0 female as far as I know)...
Is it because I'm too strong for them that their pride are being crashed when I'm around?
I wonder...
๐๐คฃ๐
Why there are more males who hate me (0 female as far as I know)...
Is it because I'm too strong for them that their pride are being crashed when I'm around?
I wonder...
๐๐คฃ๐
Thursday, October 04, 2018
Silently observing
When you just don't want him/her be stressed out over something s/he cannot do anything or that is out of his/her control, but s/he takes your advice or comment negatively.
Okay. Will not say anything about it anymore.
From now on, I will just talk when I am asked to.
Okay. Will not say anything about it anymore.
From now on, I will just talk when I am asked to.
Monday, October 01, 2018
＼(^o^)／
ๆใใฆใใใใผ。๐๐๐
ใใใใชใใfor all the things I've done. ใงใlet's work hard together.
้ ๅผตใฃใฆใญ。
ใใใใชใใfor all the things I've done. ใงใlet's work hard together.
้ ๅผตใฃใฆใญ。
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Which one
"Mag-aaway pero di maghihiwalay."
Or
"Sana hindi tayo magkatuluyan."
Which one I should believe? Which one I should paste to my mind? Which one... My brain unable to determine..
Or
"Sana hindi tayo magkatuluyan."
Which one I should believe? Which one I should paste to my mind? Which one... My brain unable to determine..
Saturday, September 29, 2018
The old days
I did a crazy thing. ๐
I opened my ใใใผ's FB. How? Forgot password. ๐๐คฃ๐ Sorry ใใใผ. ๐
Anyway, I had fun looking at old pictures and albums. Pics of ใใใผ that were so young and innocent. Dark and ugly kid to jeje days to beautiful woman now. ๐
And I thought, during these days, I was living on the other side. Also thought, "what if I've found ใใใผ or my family found her?" Then, ใใใผ didn't need to conform and frequently adjust just to live other families. ๐
"What kind of life she might have if she was living with us during those times?"
"What kind of life I might have if she was living with us during those times?"
I wonder...
Anyway, I bet ใใใผ had an adventurous journey. And what's important now is the present and the future. ☺️
Present with ใใใผ.
And hope, future with ใใใผ.
Thank you God for letting our roads crossed again. ☺️
I opened my ใใใผ's FB. How? Forgot password. ๐๐คฃ๐ Sorry ใใใผ. ๐
Anyway, I had fun looking at old pictures and albums. Pics of ใใใผ that were so young and innocent. Dark and ugly kid to jeje days to beautiful woman now. ๐
And I thought, during these days, I was living on the other side. Also thought, "what if I've found ใใใผ or my family found her?" Then, ใใใผ didn't need to conform and frequently adjust just to live other families. ๐
"What kind of life she might have if she was living with us during those times?"
"What kind of life I might have if she was living with us during those times?"
I wonder...
Anyway, I bet ใใใผ had an adventurous journey. And what's important now is the present and the future. ☺️
Present with ใใใผ.
And hope, future with ใใใผ.
Thank you God for letting our roads crossed again. ☺️
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
.....
Buti kapa, lovelife lang iniisip mo.
Ako lahat!
Trabaho, pamilya, ikaw, lahat!
Fuck!
Ayaw ko na mag-please. Ayaw ko na mag-ask ng permission.
Can I not ask permission from anyone else anymore?
Can I not please anyone anymore?
Can I try living my life with my own rules?
Ako lahat!
Trabaho, pamilya, ikaw, lahat!
Fuck!
Ayaw ko na mag-please. Ayaw ko na mag-ask ng permission.
Can I not ask permission from anyone else anymore?
Can I not please anyone anymore?
Can I try living my life with my own rules?
F*** people!
When you are already stress with work
And your significant other adds up to that stress...
Don't know where to put myself anymore - between being relax or being strict...which one do you prefer people?! Tell me!!
I'm so fed up already! With all these f***ing people!
And your significant other adds up to that stress...
Don't know where to put myself anymore - between being relax or being strict...which one do you prefer people?! Tell me!!
I'm so fed up already! With all these f***ing people!
Saturday, September 15, 2018
For you, I will
Shoulder to cry on?
Ears you can rant to?
Any mood you may have.
How hectic and stressful your work can be.
How irritable people around you can be.
How fucked up this world can be.
I can be your someone to lean on to.
I can be your someone you can pour your emotions to.
Without judgement, I can be your everything.
Cause I am your bestfriend. ๐
- God and Rove
Ears you can rant to?
Any mood you may have.
How hectic and stressful your work can be.
How irritable people around you can be.
How fucked up this world can be.
I can be your someone to lean on to.
I can be your someone you can pour your emotions to.
Without judgement, I can be your everything.
Cause I am your bestfriend. ๐
- God and Rove
Friday, September 14, 2018
God is there, always
ใใใผ,
You are already at the right age. The right age wherein you have more freedom to make decisions on your own. You already know what's right and wrong.
Stand on what you believe. Grasp it firmly. Fight for it! When you do, nobody can take you down - even life's predicaments.
Now, I only desire your spiritual, mental, and emotional growth. If I'll be a hindrance to your growth, feel free to let me go. Anyway, I'm still your bestfriend. ๐
Put yourself first. Be yourself. And don't forget to always seek His guidance. Though people let you down, He will not - never.
-Rove ๐
You are already at the right age. The right age wherein you have more freedom to make decisions on your own. You already know what's right and wrong.
Stand on what you believe. Grasp it firmly. Fight for it! When you do, nobody can take you down - even life's predicaments.
Now, I only desire your spiritual, mental, and emotional growth. If I'll be a hindrance to your growth, feel free to let me go. Anyway, I'm still your bestfriend. ๐
Put yourself first. Be yourself. And don't forget to always seek His guidance. Though people let you down, He will not - never.
-Rove ๐
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
Simple joy
I remember
The day Kate treated us for ramen nagi, I was so full. That morning, I forgot that there's a dine out and ใใใผ and I agreed to eat dinner together. Despite having eaten ramen, I still ate dinner with ใใใผ. The fullness didn't kick in because I was with my special person.
The night ใใใผ went to my office, she was so tired. Despite the tiredness, she still brought me dinner and lots of food. Then waited for me until my end of shift despite the hotness and humidity in the car and parking lot - plus wearing a long sleeve.
These sacrifices. Simple act of appreciation, makes love grow fonder.
I thank my ใใใผ for all the effort, love, and care. She does not need to these but still, she still choose to. And I appreciate it very much. ☺️
The day Kate treated us for ramen nagi, I was so full. That morning, I forgot that there's a dine out and ใใใผ and I agreed to eat dinner together. Despite having eaten ramen, I still ate dinner with ใใใผ. The fullness didn't kick in because I was with my special person.
The night ใใใผ went to my office, she was so tired. Despite the tiredness, she still brought me dinner and lots of food. Then waited for me until my end of shift despite the hotness and humidity in the car and parking lot - plus wearing a long sleeve.
These sacrifices. Simple act of appreciation, makes love grow fonder.
I thank my ใใใผ for all the effort, love, and care. She does not need to these but still, she still choose to. And I appreciate it very much. ☺️
Happy ใใใผ
Kahit lagi kang highblood sakin.
Despite all the predicaments and challenges we had,
I still love you.
Let's grow old together.
Let's support each other through thick or thin.
Let's be honest with each other.
Let God be the center of our relationship.
For more months and years together~
Hold on tight and be strong!
Random questions
You told me that you experienced in the past wherein your relationships cheated on you.
My question, have you cheated in the past?
If not, am I the first relationship you had that you cheated on?
Why you chose to cheat on me? You've done it not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times. What made you decide to do it multiple times in just one relationship?
Please don't be offended. I just wanna know. Maybe because I have the right to know it too?
My question, have you cheated in the past?
If not, am I the first relationship you had that you cheated on?
Why you chose to cheat on me? You've done it not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times. What made you decide to do it multiple times in just one relationship?
Please don't be offended. I just wanna know. Maybe because I have the right to know it too?
Saturday, September 08, 2018
Maybe because
Maybe because,
I still love you.
That despite all the cheating and hurts, I am still welcoming you with wide open arms.
Maybe because,
I am still in love with you.
That despite the norm tells me to say it quits, I am still here ready to accept the new you.
I don't like you at all anymore.
But I still love you.
And this love - God's love - is telling me to forgive, move on, and start a new.
——
God, lead my life. Lead our life both. May you be the center of this relationship - not anyone else. Keep us away from all the things and creatures who only desire us to fall and go astray. Keep us away from the worldly temptations.
I love you God. Thank you for your unending love.
In Jesus name I pray, amen!
I still love you.
That despite all the cheating and hurts, I am still welcoming you with wide open arms.
Maybe because,
I am still in love with you.
That despite the norm tells me to say it quits, I am still here ready to accept the new you.
I don't like you at all anymore.
But I still love you.
And this love - God's love - is telling me to forgive, move on, and start a new.
——
God, lead my life. Lead our life both. May you be the center of this relationship - not anyone else. Keep us away from all the things and creatures who only desire us to fall and go astray. Keep us away from the worldly temptations.
I love you God. Thank you for your unending love.
In Jesus name I pray, amen!
Friday, September 07, 2018
Chance
Why am I doing this?
Been trying to block all means of communications of that stalker in ใใใผ's phone. But the owner doesn't want to in the first place.
Why am I doing this?
She should know her limits and between what's right and wrong. She's in her right age. Protection should not be coming from me. She should know how to protect herself.
Why am I doing this?
It doesn't make sense. I should stop - treating her like a baby. Treating her like she doesn't know what she's doing. Let her face the consequences of every action she's doing in her life.
Why am I doing this?
Being over protective will only cause her to do things that I don't like. I should refrain myself from giving so much life lessons or teachings if the person is already fed up on it. It will only cause the person to rebel.
Why am I doing this?
I should stop. Let her be. And just need to watch and observe. Anyway, another chance was given. Let's see how she'll take care of that one last chance - the trust.
———
Please help her, God. May she continually seek your wisdom and knowledge for every decision and action she'll take in her life.
Been trying to block all means of communications of that stalker in ใใใผ's phone. But the owner doesn't want to in the first place.
Why am I doing this?
She should know her limits and between what's right and wrong. She's in her right age. Protection should not be coming from me. She should know how to protect herself.
Why am I doing this?
It doesn't make sense. I should stop - treating her like a baby. Treating her like she doesn't know what she's doing. Let her face the consequences of every action she's doing in her life.
Why am I doing this?
Being over protective will only cause her to do things that I don't like. I should refrain myself from giving so much life lessons or teachings if the person is already fed up on it. It will only cause the person to rebel.
Why am I doing this?
I should stop. Let her be. And just need to watch and observe. Anyway, another chance was given. Let's see how she'll take care of that one last chance - the trust.
———
Please help her, God. May she continually seek your wisdom and knowledge for every decision and action she'll take in her life.
Tuesday, September 04, 2018
Karma is real
Why? Why am I doing this in the first place?
Why am I involving myself to useless creatures?
I don't deserve this!
I have already moved on but ใใใผ returned. And I treated that as a change of heart. I assumed that all kabit are already gone in her life. All stalkers stopped squishing theirselves to our lives. But it was not the case, the more you block them in all means of communications, the more they push themselves hard. ๐คฌ Fuck humans!
I don't deserve this!
I can't fight for someone that can't even love him/herself. I can't fight for someone who can't even stand to what s/he believes is right. My sense of justice is bursting out!
I don't deserve this!
Being a light and shining armor doesn't do anything good especially if the person you are fighting for can't even appreciate your efforts nor see the same outlook as you have.
I don't deserve this!
Niloko. Sinaktan. Niloko. Inagrabyado. In the end, may kasalanan parin in the eyes of the person you are fighting for. Fuck humans!
I don't deserve this!
This doesn't make sense!
——-
I'm fond of threatening people to kill them. But honestly, I don't have the guts to do it. Why? I will not spend my valuable time to useless things. I will not stain my hands with useless creatures. They don't deserve my attention in the first place.
I'd rather see and watch them wither away by time and karma. Then laugh my ass off watching them suffer by the circumstances they created.
——-
Be cool Rove. Your time don't deserve them. Your time is much more valuable than their life. Forget them and move on. Trust karma. It will take them one day. ๐ Just be cool. Stay cool. ๐
Why am I involving myself to useless creatures?
I don't deserve this!
I have already moved on but ใใใผ returned. And I treated that as a change of heart. I assumed that all kabit are already gone in her life. All stalkers stopped squishing theirselves to our lives. But it was not the case, the more you block them in all means of communications, the more they push themselves hard. ๐คฌ Fuck humans!
I don't deserve this!
I can't fight for someone that can't even love him/herself. I can't fight for someone who can't even stand to what s/he believes is right. My sense of justice is bursting out!
I don't deserve this!
Being a light and shining armor doesn't do anything good especially if the person you are fighting for can't even appreciate your efforts nor see the same outlook as you have.
I don't deserve this!
Niloko. Sinaktan. Niloko. Inagrabyado. In the end, may kasalanan parin in the eyes of the person you are fighting for. Fuck humans!
I don't deserve this!
This doesn't make sense!
——-
I'm fond of threatening people to kill them. But honestly, I don't have the guts to do it. Why? I will not spend my valuable time to useless things. I will not stain my hands with useless creatures. They don't deserve my attention in the first place.
I'd rather see and watch them wither away by time and karma. Then laugh my ass off watching them suffer by the circumstances they created.
——-
Be cool Rove. Your time don't deserve them. Your time is much more valuable than their life. Forget them and move on. Trust karma. It will take them one day. ๐ Just be cool. Stay cool. ๐
Future Family
I love ใใใผ.
And I wanna marry her in the future. ๐
Have kids, regardless coming from me or from ใใใผ. ๐ถ๐ป
This one last chance, hopefully, ใใใผ won't fall into enemy's temptation again. ๐
One time, I thought of fucking my long time crush so that I can get even with ใใใผ. But no, God never works that way. And my crush is a respectable and educated person. I respect her much. "It's easy to think but so difficult to do." When I’ll do that, I'll be no different to the enemies. Compassion and forgiveness should be given, and not revenge.
And also, I love myself. ☺️
Just like what my motto is when I was a kid, I will only give my mind and body to the one person I love - to the one person I am committed with. I want to give the best of me because that person is so special to me. My best gift would be my best self. ☺️
God, please cleanse my and ใใใผ's heart and mind. Keep us away from the worldly things and temptations of the enemies. Thank you God. Amen! ๐
And I wanna marry her in the future. ๐
Have kids, regardless coming from me or from ใใใผ. ๐ถ๐ป
This one last chance, hopefully, ใใใผ won't fall into enemy's temptation again. ๐
One time, I thought of fucking my long time crush so that I can get even with ใใใผ. But no, God never works that way. And my crush is a respectable and educated person. I respect her much. "It's easy to think but so difficult to do." When I’ll do that, I'll be no different to the enemies. Compassion and forgiveness should be given, and not revenge.
And also, I love myself. ☺️
Just like what my motto is when I was a kid, I will only give my mind and body to the one person I love - to the one person I am committed with. I want to give the best of me because that person is so special to me. My best gift would be my best self. ☺️
God, please cleanse my and ใใใผ's heart and mind. Keep us away from the worldly things and temptations of the enemies. Thank you God. Amen! ๐
Saturday, September 01, 2018
Fucking pissed off
You are acting like a kid!
You're making someone worry to death.
You are being selfish!
If you are going to drink, make sure that you can handle yourself.
Not contact someone else again to save you wherever your feet take you to.
For God's sake, take care of yourself!
Have self-respect!
Love yourself!
#Pissed ๐ก
#GNyt
You're making someone worry to death.
You are being selfish!
If you are going to drink, make sure that you can handle yourself.
Not contact someone else again to save you wherever your feet take you to.
For God's sake, take care of yourself!
Have self-respect!
Love yourself!
#Pissed ๐ก
#GNyt
#ktbxbye
Many texts and calls, no response.
Am I allowed to get mad?
Was out of reached then rung then out of reached again. Can I be pissed now?
One text. Or one call. Unable to do?
Ok fine. Suit yourself. Enjoy!
#WhenYouAreBeingTakenForGranted
Am I allowed to get mad?
Was out of reached then rung then out of reached again. Can I be pissed now?
One text. Or one call. Unable to do?
Ok fine. Suit yourself. Enjoy!
#WhenYouAreBeingTakenForGranted
Monday, August 27, 2018
Tiring holiday
———-
Had a tiring road trip with my ใใใผ. After dropping the kids in Taguig, went straight to booksale in Pasig. ใใใผ is a bookworm. ๐ Then went to Sta Lucia to eat at Greenwich and ใใใผ took a haircut (#FindingLea ๐). Bought some things in Daiso. Then meds and vitamins in Mercury.
I was tired literally as I was driving for 50km. And imagine traffic in the metro. ๐ฒ
Now, instead of reading a book, ใใใผ fell asleep. ๐๐๐คฃ
Friday, August 24, 2018
The No Choice to The King of One’s Life
Why am I annoyed?
No matter how hard I put a defense before ใใใผ, she still defend that goon. Instead of blaming and getting furious to ใใใผ after what she has done, I am furious to the man who I think took advantage of her. But in the end, she still defend that man. Does it mean, am not doing the right thing - defending ใใใผ? And instead, I should get mad and blame her for the incident?
I don't know.
I remember in the convo they had in Telegram, ใใใผ didn't even defended me when that man insulted me and called me "tibo". Just wow! Ako kabit? ๐คฌ
And now, into my face, she still defend that fucking ugly man! ๐คฌ Who am I really? Is he supposed to be the chosen one and not me? What if he was able to get a job, will ใใใผ still choose me or choose to stay with that goon?
I don't know.
Everytime I bring up that "unfaithfulness incident", I always have the feeling of "I have no right to say bad things about that ugly faggot".
Feel like I am "No choice kaya ikaw nalang". Para akong kabit. This is what I feel. ๐
Sabi nga nila, “Hindi naman maghahanap ng iba ang isang tao kung kuntento sila sa una nila.” And moreover, they find 2nd one or kabit when they are not satisfied sexually with their legal partner. Kaya hindi malayong ang kabit ay para lang sa sex pleasures. ๐
———
When will I be treated like a king...
Siguro pag millionaire or billionaire na ko. ๐ When that happens, I'll have all the beautiful women in the world chase me and plead to me for me to be with them. ๐๐
No matter how hard I put a defense before ใใใผ, she still defend that goon. Instead of blaming and getting furious to ใใใผ after what she has done, I am furious to the man who I think took advantage of her. But in the end, she still defend that man. Does it mean, am not doing the right thing - defending ใใใผ? And instead, I should get mad and blame her for the incident?
I don't know.
I remember in the convo they had in Telegram, ใใใผ didn't even defended me when that man insulted me and called me "tibo". Just wow! Ako kabit? ๐คฌ
And now, into my face, she still defend that fucking ugly man! ๐คฌ Who am I really? Is he supposed to be the chosen one and not me? What if he was able to get a job, will ใใใผ still choose me or choose to stay with that goon?
I don't know.
Everytime I bring up that "unfaithfulness incident", I always have the feeling of "I have no right to say bad things about that ugly faggot".
Feel like I am "No choice kaya ikaw nalang". Para akong kabit. This is what I feel. ๐
Sabi nga nila, “Hindi naman maghahanap ng iba ang isang tao kung kuntento sila sa una nila.” And moreover, they find 2nd one or kabit when they are not satisfied sexually with their legal partner. Kaya hindi malayong ang kabit ay para lang sa sex pleasures. ๐
———
When will I be treated like a king...
Siguro pag millionaire or billionaire na ko. ๐ When that happens, I'll have all the beautiful women in the world chase me and plead to me for me to be with them. ๐๐
Relationship = Job
“When you trust too much, people will make a fool out of you.”
“Do unto others what you want others do unto you.”
One more cheating, and I’m done.
I’m not feeling inlove everyday but I chose this relationship. Dapat lang na panindigan ko ‘to and I should work on it.
“Being in a relationship is a job.”
It’s not a game na pag di kana nag-eenjoy, mag-qquit ka agad.
“Do unto others what you want others do unto you.”
One more cheating, and I’m done.
I’m not feeling inlove everyday but I chose this relationship. Dapat lang na panindigan ko ‘to and I should work on it.
“Being in a relationship is a job.”
It’s not a game na pag di kana nag-eenjoy, mag-qquit ka agad.
Tuesday, August 21, 2018
God is my refuge
Read the convo between ใใใผ and her mother. I don't know what to say anymore. I hate to say this but tita seems like tolerating ใใใผ do such extramarital relationships (i.e. kabit).
I grew up differently. I have my beliefs. I hate cheaters and kabit when I was a kid - even until now. Maybe because I am surrounded by them - my brother, older sister, and even my father. And I don’t want to add up to their numbers. Some of them eventually changed as they grow old and some, I hope, will change in the future. I’ve also seen the tears of the people they have hurt and it makes me furious - a sense of injustice. It’s just a matter of acceptance and forgiveness to be able to forget and move on.
Only God teaches me to forgive and forget. God, who is the supreme being can easily forgive human beings, why can't I? I don't have the right not to forgive anyone. God always remind me to love my enemies. It's because, they are also His children. He created everyone equal. It's just that most of us fell to our own weaknesses and pitfalls.
For now, I don't wanna get involve with ใใใผ's family. I need to li-low. Not see them as much as I could. I'd rather keep my space than see myself tangled into a worldly fight.
———
Keep your distance Rove. Stay away from people who will only bring you distraught.
๐ Concentrate. Work hard. Play hard. ๐
Just do what you think is right and you'll achieve your goal - get rich and be successful! ๐
Just keep on going... You're cool as ever! ๐
———
Thank you God for not leaving my family despite the hardships in life. Your love saves us all, human beings. Thank you Christ! I love you all! ๐ Amen! ๐
I grew up differently. I have my beliefs. I hate cheaters and kabit when I was a kid - even until now. Maybe because I am surrounded by them - my brother, older sister, and even my father. And I don’t want to add up to their numbers. Some of them eventually changed as they grow old and some, I hope, will change in the future. I’ve also seen the tears of the people they have hurt and it makes me furious - a sense of injustice. It’s just a matter of acceptance and forgiveness to be able to forget and move on.
Only God teaches me to forgive and forget. God, who is the supreme being can easily forgive human beings, why can't I? I don't have the right not to forgive anyone. God always remind me to love my enemies. It's because, they are also His children. He created everyone equal. It's just that most of us fell to our own weaknesses and pitfalls.
For now, I don't wanna get involve with ใใใผ's family. I need to li-low. Not see them as much as I could. I'd rather keep my space than see myself tangled into a worldly fight.
———
Keep your distance Rove. Stay away from people who will only bring you distraught.
๐ Concentrate. Work hard. Play hard. ๐
Just do what you think is right and you'll achieve your goal - get rich and be successful! ๐
Just keep on going... You're cool as ever! ๐
———
Thank you God for not leaving my family despite the hardships in life. Your love saves us all, human beings. Thank you Christ! I love you all! ๐ Amen! ๐
Monday, August 20, 2018
In time
No matter how hard I try to screen all the bad stuff from her, she'll always look at the negative side. And in the end, it's my fault - always my fault.
It's been a trauma to me but I'm trying my best to accept, forget, and move on from it.
It's true that I wanna be always around for her. I don't wanna see her get lost again. I wanna guide her as much as possible. And when the time has come that she finally realized she needed a man, I can be an eldest sibling and bestfriend to screen all the men before choosing someone who she can get married with.
Because of this incident, the only thing I can do is atleast give her the best life she deserves. It does not exclude giving her to a man. As long as that man can provide all her needs and wants in life, she'll be fine. And someone who will not take advantage of her weaknesses. Someone she'll grow up with. And hopefully, someone who is good looking than me. ๐
Don't know if she'll understand my real intention. But you know God my heart and my mind. Always lead me to your greatness. Keep me away from the people and things that lead me to pitfalls.
This is the reason I really need to get rich and successful. When I do, I don't have to beg for someone's time and affection. I don't have to be an option or second choice anymore. I don't have to borrow money and be in debt. ๐ I will be the second/third after God and family to someone. ๐
In time, the truth will be revealed. The truth will set us free.
Friday, August 17, 2018
Brain transplant
I still love my life.
But when this brain unable to stop, I have no choice left. I need to end this brain from overthinking more.
Sometimes, I thought of donating my brain to someone that might need it. And will just ask for another brain. I don't mind if I will lose memories - it doesn't matter anymore.
As long as it will stop my brain for overthinking, I'm okay to do anything to release it.
Might as well search over the internet for any org that is needing a brain - maybe for experiments or what.
Whatever they wanted to do with my brain, I'm fine as long as they will pay 500 million pesos to my family. And they will make me alive after removing my brain. I'll go for it!
๐ be cool Rove ๐
But when this brain unable to stop, I have no choice left. I need to end this brain from overthinking more.
Sometimes, I thought of donating my brain to someone that might need it. And will just ask for another brain. I don't mind if I will lose memories - it doesn't matter anymore.
As long as it will stop my brain for overthinking, I'm okay to do anything to release it.
Might as well search over the internet for any org that is needing a brain - maybe for experiments or what.
Whatever they wanted to do with my brain, I'm fine as long as they will pay 500 million pesos to my family. And they will make me alive after removing my brain. I'll go for it!
๐ be cool Rove ๐
Confused mind and heart
Why am I feeling this way?
It started yesterday. My chest now feels so heavy. So many negative thoughts circling around my mind. Felt like I was about to faint awhile ago.
Is it because I was not able to take my med for 3 nights already?
Is it because I'm always eating my dinner very late or not at all?
Is it because something's up with my current environment?
I know I am a negative absorber. Means, I easily absorb negative aura around me - people's complaints in real life and in social media. I usually ignore it and just laugh at it but my subconscious mind digests and processes it without my knowledge. In return, I will explode at one time.
God, am I crazy? It felt like I wanted to check-in myself to monastery and meditate with the monks. ๐ฃ
Help me God.
I just wanna jump and laugh at these things. I don't wanna worry about life nor the people around me. Bahala sila on what they wanted to do with their life. I'm done and already fed up with my role of being "a leader", "an eldest", etc. I don't wanna please anyone anymore. Whatever the people around me do with their life: work hard, play hard, or get lost, I should not care anymore! I'm not a god nor a messiah to shoulder everyone's burden and help them solve their own problems or help them change to be a better person.
What if I suddenly die, will they be able to stand up on their own? Will they be able to change theirselves to be a better person - a Godly person? They should.
My mind is about to explode. ๐ต
God, is it my calling? To be a human shepherd? Only Christ can be a shepherd. Even I, get lost at times. People around me should seek Christ's guidance too - whenever they are lost or not.
God, I commit to you my confused mind and heart. Let Your will Thy be done. Amen! ๐
It started yesterday. My chest now feels so heavy. So many negative thoughts circling around my mind. Felt like I was about to faint awhile ago.
Is it because I was not able to take my med for 3 nights already?
Is it because I'm always eating my dinner very late or not at all?
Is it because something's up with my current environment?
I know I am a negative absorber. Means, I easily absorb negative aura around me - people's complaints in real life and in social media. I usually ignore it and just laugh at it but my subconscious mind digests and processes it without my knowledge. In return, I will explode at one time.
God, am I crazy? It felt like I wanted to check-in myself to monastery and meditate with the monks. ๐ฃ
Help me God.
I just wanna jump and laugh at these things. I don't wanna worry about life nor the people around me. Bahala sila on what they wanted to do with their life. I'm done and already fed up with my role of being "a leader", "an eldest", etc. I don't wanna please anyone anymore. Whatever the people around me do with their life: work hard, play hard, or get lost, I should not care anymore! I'm not a god nor a messiah to shoulder everyone's burden and help them solve their own problems or help them change to be a better person.
What if I suddenly die, will they be able to stand up on their own? Will they be able to change theirselves to be a better person - a Godly person? They should.
My mind is about to explode. ๐ต
God, is it my calling? To be a human shepherd? Only Christ can be a shepherd. Even I, get lost at times. People around me should seek Christ's guidance too - whenever they are lost or not.
God, I commit to you my confused mind and heart. Let Your will Thy be done. Amen! ๐
Unprepared
I have not taken my med for 3 nights already.
I'm not sure if it's the reason my mind sometimes think of crazy things - paranoia in a way. ๐ Or it's because I am not eating dinner at the right time for how many nights already. ๐
Whatever might be the reason, I just stopped and pray.
"I commit to you, oh God, my mind and my thoughts. I don't know why my thoughts were like that. I know I am a slow person and I process and digest things very late (e.g. after few days). But whatever it is, I raise up to you everything. Please cleanse my heart and mind from earthly things. Fill my thoughts and hearts with Godly things. Help me not to think such crazy things anymore. I pray all these things in the mighty name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, amen!" ๐
———-
I need to pay the unbilled charges of my CC tomorrow so that I can book tours and accommodation for HK trip. Though my budget is very tight - as I had overlooked and didn't prepare ahead of time - I am still rich! I declare to the universe.
I am rich!
Rich in love!
Rich in finances!
Amen! ๐
———-
Though I don't feel like going to my follow-up check-up as I don't have budget yet, I need to so that I can get discount coupons for my meds. I also need to talk to my doctor that my dosage can now be reduce to half.
———-
God, please help me to be prepared at all times. I might always ignore problems or issues around me as I want to prioritize my mental being. However, they are still there lurking, trying to devour my mind at anytime of the day. Help me God. I couldn't take so much mental stress constantly without any rest. I trust you with all my heart and mind. I commit to you my life, my heart, and my mind. Thank you for everything. ☺️
I'm not sure if it's the reason my mind sometimes think of crazy things - paranoia in a way. ๐ Or it's because I am not eating dinner at the right time for how many nights already. ๐
Whatever might be the reason, I just stopped and pray.
"I commit to you, oh God, my mind and my thoughts. I don't know why my thoughts were like that. I know I am a slow person and I process and digest things very late (e.g. after few days). But whatever it is, I raise up to you everything. Please cleanse my heart and mind from earthly things. Fill my thoughts and hearts with Godly things. Help me not to think such crazy things anymore. I pray all these things in the mighty name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, amen!" ๐
———-
I need to pay the unbilled charges of my CC tomorrow so that I can book tours and accommodation for HK trip. Though my budget is very tight - as I had overlooked and didn't prepare ahead of time - I am still rich! I declare to the universe.
I am rich!
Rich in love!
Rich in finances!
Amen! ๐
———-
Though I don't feel like going to my follow-up check-up as I don't have budget yet, I need to so that I can get discount coupons for my meds. I also need to talk to my doctor that my dosage can now be reduce to half.
———-
God, please help me to be prepared at all times. I might always ignore problems or issues around me as I want to prioritize my mental being. However, they are still there lurking, trying to devour my mind at anytime of the day. Help me God. I couldn't take so much mental stress constantly without any rest. I trust you with all my heart and mind. I commit to you my life, my heart, and my mind. Thank you for everything. ☺️
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Time with you
Had a date with my ใใใผ at CBTL. ๐
Knowing to meet my ใใใผ after work makes me excited everytime. ☺️๐ Finish work asap while checking the time every hour. Then step on the gas and drive as fast as I can once I enter the car while an upbeat music plays in the background. ๐๐
This is how excited I am.๐
I care less whether I still have money or not, I will still spend the evening with my ใใใผ. Money can be earn, but time is not.
"Time is gold." ๐
Just finished finalizing the HK-MC tour inclusions. Will start looking for accommodations in HK tomorrow. Once my payment in CC has reflected, I will book accommodation right away. ๐
ใไผใฟใชใใ。๐ค๐ด
Monday, August 13, 2018
Dinner date
Had a dinner date with my ใใใผ. ๐
We ate at ๆฅๆฌใฐใใฆ。๐ฑ
Eating good food + nice conversation with my ❤️.
More like this in the future~ ๐
Soon: Aug 18-19, Ilocos trip
We ate at ๆฅๆฌใฐใใฆ。๐ฑ
Eating good food + nice conversation with my ❤️.
More like this in the future~ ๐
Soon: Aug 18-19, Ilocos trip
Saturday, August 11, 2018
My heart
Tiresome but happy. ☺️
Feasib project of ใใใผ has finally ended! Yey! ๐
Congrats to ใใใผ！
It was also a rainy day. ☔️
Together with my gf's close friend, we ate at the BBQ house for lunch after their class.
Went for an errand then finally went home.
Sleep, eat, hang out with baby, then sleep. ๐ด
It was a tiring week but very meaningful week. I've discovered more and more about my ใใใผ's life. And I love her more and more. ☺️
——-
Thank you my God. Please be with me and ใใใผ till the end. Amen! ๐
God’s love prevails
Baby Charles. Your mom is a strong-willed person. And I am deeply amazed that despite going through hardships in life, she still doesn't give up. ๐คจ
She was my reason why I didn't give up life. She's my inspiration.
It makes me smile when I see her happy. I want to make her happy. And I will do my best to stay by her side, supporting her, no matter what this life can bring. ๐
Baby Charles. Please continually look upon us from heaven. I know you are more sad when mom is sad. But don't worry much, God and I will always be there for her. ☺️
I love the both of you - you and your mom. ☺️
She was my reason why I didn't give up life. She's my inspiration.
It makes me smile when I see her happy. I want to make her happy. And I will do my best to stay by her side, supporting her, no matter what this life can bring. ๐
Baby Charles. Please continually look upon us from heaven. I know you are more sad when mom is sad. But don't worry much, God and I will always be there for her. ☺️
I love the both of you - you and your mom. ☺️
Wednesday, August 08, 2018
Guardian Angel
Baby Charles.
I'll be stronger for your mom. We may not be together till the end, but I will still be her bestfriend till the end. I will take care of her up to the best as I can.
Baby Charles.
Sayang di tayo nagmeet. I know you are a handsome boy, just like your mom. Soon, in heaven, we'll meet. We'll chat in the playground. And talk anything under the sun. We'll talk how stubborn your mom is but funny at the same time.
Let's compete in the monkey bar! I was an expert when I was a kid. ๐
Baby Charles.
Please always look upon your mom from there. You are now her guardian angel. ☺️
ใพใใญ。 ๐
I'll be stronger for your mom. We may not be together till the end, but I will still be her bestfriend till the end. I will take care of her up to the best as I can.
Baby Charles.
Sayang di tayo nagmeet. I know you are a handsome boy, just like your mom. Soon, in heaven, we'll meet. We'll chat in the playground. And talk anything under the sun. We'll talk how stubborn your mom is but funny at the same time.
Let's compete in the monkey bar! I was an expert when I was a kid. ๐
Baby Charles.
Please always look upon your mom from there. You are now her guardian angel. ☺️
ใพใใญ。 ๐
Tuesday, August 07, 2018
Too painful to handle
The knowledge and assurance that you know na tapos na sila ng kabit nya. Pero seeing this, I couldn't control myself but to feel jealous.
I am the legal partner. I love my woman and she loves me too. But why is it painful that they have their own page wherein my girlfriend has already forgotten our FB page. ๐
Why does it feel like I was just borrowing my girlfriend's time and I was just an option.
——-
Don't look pitiful Rove! Your woman loves you. She came back to your arms for good. You've been doing great so far. You are patient and loving towards her. She knows it and she appreciates it. Don't feel jealous over something that doesn't matter anymore.
You were born for His greatness! You were born not to be an option but to be the only and last.
Just cry it all until no tears are left. Tears will make you stronger. Cry it all until your heart gets tired then your mind takes the lead.
Take heart! And be courageous! God will not leave you and your heart broken. Your life will be bountiful!
———
I love you God! Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for making me stronger each day. Thank you for making me smile and happy each day. Thank you for keeping me and my love ones healthy.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."
Work life balance ๐ฑ
I took an SL today. I didn't want to but my lead and my manager advised me to.
I need complete physical recovery. P&L week is just around the corner and I need to be there for my team.
Before signing out, I made last "bilins" and did some small tasks. I also moved my stand-up meeting with my devs to tomorrow. Piotr is a capable resource and he doesn't need to be micromanaged. ๐ I'm thankful he is one of our developers. ๐
Kai, on the other hand, volunteered to lead the P&L checkpoint I set today. I told her I might not be able to join as I will rest and sleep. As time passes by, Kai is becoming more and more independent. Not too soon, she'll be able to lead both P&L towers with confidence. ๐ And when that time comes, I will have a lighter load. ๐ I will now be able to put more time to my 1PMP PM role and Finance Lead role. ๐
In time, everything will go into its right and perfect place. So help me God. ๐
I need complete physical recovery. P&L week is just around the corner and I need to be there for my team.
Before signing out, I made last "bilins" and did some small tasks. I also moved my stand-up meeting with my devs to tomorrow. Piotr is a capable resource and he doesn't need to be micromanaged. ๐ I'm thankful he is one of our developers. ๐
Kai, on the other hand, volunteered to lead the P&L checkpoint I set today. I told her I might not be able to join as I will rest and sleep. As time passes by, Kai is becoming more and more independent. Not too soon, she'll be able to lead both P&L towers with confidence. ๐ And when that time comes, I will have a lighter load. ๐ I will now be able to put more time to my 1PMP PM role and Finance Lead role. ๐
In time, everything will go into its right and perfect place. So help me God. ๐
Sorry, I suck big time
Why?
Whatever I'll do, I will always be the bad cop.
No matter how hard I tried to please the people I value the most, in the end, I'm always the one to blamed.
No matter how hard I tried to do what is good, in the end, it's always causing trouble to the people I love.
Why am I still breathing if I don't do any good anymore?
This life.
Sorry, if I'm causing too much trouble.
Sorry, if I didn't do any better anymore.
Sorry, if I'm not capable of doing anything to please you.
I'm sorry, I suck big time.
Whatever I'll do, I will always be the bad cop.
No matter how hard I tried to please the people I value the most, in the end, I'm always the one to blamed.
No matter how hard I tried to do what is good, in the end, it's always causing trouble to the people I love.
Why am I still breathing if I don't do any good anymore?
This life.
Sorry, if I'm causing too much trouble.
Sorry, if I didn't do any better anymore.
Sorry, if I'm not capable of doing anything to please you.
I'm sorry, I suck big time.
Monday, August 06, 2018
Open letter ๐
I love you not just because I really wanted us to end up together but I love you as a person.
I want you to be healthy and happy. Let me take care of you, may not be as your partner, but atleast your bestfriend. Not until I will be able to find a "perfect" man for you, I will always be here for you. A man who I know can provide all your needs and understands you the most - whatever your mood will be.
Yes, I am okay to give you to a man when the time has come that you have decided to get married to a man. I've already accepted the fact way before I met you that it's not impossible that my girlfriend will have a change of partner preference. #beentheredonethat ๐
Whatever happens, through thick or thin, I will always be here to guide you and support you. I don't want you to go astray. When you do, just get back up right away. ๐ Don't stay longer at the bottom.
I want you to find inner peace and happiness. Let me there by your side as you take the road of life and face challenges in life.
Don't forget to pray to Him.
When in doubt, pray.
When you don't know what to do, pray.
When you are sad, pray.
When you are angry, pray.
Whatever your emotion is, just pray.
You'll be calmer, I assure you. ☺️
Yours,
Rove ๐
Sunday, August 05, 2018
My prayer
I'd rather be called and treated as a "bestfriend" than be called a "tibo" by a kabit.
I never wanna try to have sex with a man. I'd rather go to science to get pregnant and have a baby than have multiple sex with a man I'm not in an official relationship with. And I think, I will never have sex with a dirty man.
Love is more than sex. It's companionship and honesty. And I deserve respect, honesty, and love.
I'm a human being too. God created me - to be awesome! To be great! To get rich! To be happy!
I am hardworking, kind, respectable, honest, faithful, loyal, and loved! And I also deserve to be treated the same way.
God please help me. Lead me to your greater glory. Cleanse my heart and mind. Fill my heart with your love.
Please bless Cha, Mcdo Manong guard, and all the people in the world. Bless them. Cleanse their minds and hearts. Give them a clear and peace of mind. Fill their hearts with your overflowing love so that they can love themselves and forgive themselves. No one can love theirselves except themselves. No one can provide them true happiness but their themselves only. No one can provide them inner peace but You Yourself only.
I pray all these things in the might name of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, Amen. ๐
I never wanna try to have sex with a man. I'd rather go to science to get pregnant and have a baby than have multiple sex with a man I'm not in an official relationship with. And I think, I will never have sex with a dirty man.
Love is more than sex. It's companionship and honesty. And I deserve respect, honesty, and love.
I'm a human being too. God created me - to be awesome! To be great! To get rich! To be happy!
I am hardworking, kind, respectable, honest, faithful, loyal, and loved! And I also deserve to be treated the same way.
God please help me. Lead me to your greater glory. Cleanse my heart and mind. Fill my heart with your love.
Please bless Cha, Mcdo Manong guard, and all the people in the world. Bless them. Cleanse their minds and hearts. Give them a clear and peace of mind. Fill their hearts with your overflowing love so that they can love themselves and forgive themselves. No one can love theirselves except themselves. No one can provide them true happiness but their themselves only. No one can provide them inner peace but You Yourself only.
I pray all these things in the might name of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, Amen. ๐
Friday, August 03, 2018
Sit back and relax
Rove, don't be discouraged.
Just sit back and relax.
God is still preparing the woman of your life - your soon-to-be-wife. ๐๐
And God is also preparing you.
So that when two of you meet, both of you are already prepared. ☺️
Never be discouraged.
God is there.
He'll take care of your heart while waiting for your the one. ๐
Trust in Him. He has greater plans ahead of you.
Plans to prosper you and give you future. ๐
Amen. ๐
Just sit back and relax.
God is still preparing the woman of your life - your soon-to-be-wife. ๐๐
And God is also preparing you.
So that when two of you meet, both of you are already prepared. ☺️
Never be discouraged.
God is there.
He'll take care of your heart while waiting for your the one. ๐
Trust in Him. He has greater plans ahead of you.
Plans to prosper you and give you future. ๐
Amen. ๐
๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ
I told Kai,
"Dapat mag work lahat ng P&L team sa Sep 18-21. Friendship over na kami ng bestfriend ko dahil sa kinancel ko trip namin. Dapat worth it yung pag stay ko sa office. ๐"
๐๐๐คฃ๐๐
If not, #ktnxbye.
Mag-submit na ko resignation after. ๐
They are not worth fighting for.
Been trying to balance and sacrificing lots of things to serve everyone and everything in my life.
"One cannot serve two masters at a time."
"Dapat mag work lahat ng P&L team sa Sep 18-21. Friendship over na kami ng bestfriend ko dahil sa kinancel ko trip namin. Dapat worth it yung pag stay ko sa office. ๐"
๐๐๐คฃ๐๐
If not, #ktnxbye.
Mag-submit na ko resignation after. ๐
They are not worth fighting for.
Been trying to balance and sacrificing lots of things to serve everyone and everything in my life.
"One cannot serve two masters at a time."
๐be cool๐
Ayaw man sa lovelife o gusto, itigil mo na yan Rove!
Wag na ipilit pa ang sarili!
Di kana nya gusto o mahal!
Mahirap ba intindihin yun?!
Tumigil kana Rove!!!
Hindi ka aso! Para sumunud ng sumunod.
Hindi ka stalker gaya nila Jake at Daniel na sobrang panget para ipilit sarili mo.
Tumigil kana! Wala kang balls! Yan tandaan mo!
Kahit na saksakan sila ng panget sa mukha at sa ugali, may balls (maitim lang) sila! That's it!
Enough Rove.
Enough is enough.
You've been sincere and I know you've done your best. ๐ Wala na tayo magagawa dun kung hindi niya nakikita yun.
Basta, you are beautiful and magnificent Rove, inside and out. Bulag lang sila kaya hindi sila nakaka-appreciate. ๐
They keep on looking on other things despite having things who are always there for them. ☺️
It's not your loss Rove, it's theirs. ๐
Chin up! And move forward!
๐Be cool Rove๐
Wag na ipilit pa ang sarili!
Di kana nya gusto o mahal!
Mahirap ba intindihin yun?!
Tumigil kana Rove!!!
Hindi ka aso! Para sumunud ng sumunod.
Hindi ka stalker gaya nila Jake at Daniel na sobrang panget para ipilit sarili mo.
Tumigil kana! Wala kang balls! Yan tandaan mo!
Kahit na saksakan sila ng panget sa mukha at sa ugali, may balls (maitim lang) sila! That's it!
Enough Rove.
Enough is enough.
You've been sincere and I know you've done your best. ๐ Wala na tayo magagawa dun kung hindi niya nakikita yun.
Basta, you are beautiful and magnificent Rove, inside and out. Bulag lang sila kaya hindi sila nakaka-appreciate. ๐
They keep on looking on other things despite having things who are always there for them. ☺️
It's not your loss Rove, it's theirs. ๐
Chin up! And move forward!
๐Be cool Rove๐
Rove the Great
Cry until no more tears will flow right from your eyes.
Get sick until any virus will fear getting near to you.
Work until you get fucking rich! And all the beautiful women in the world kill themselves just to be with you. ๐
Do that!
So help me God!
Get rich Rove and laugh all the struggles in life!
Show them that you don't need them but they need you.
Show to the world how fucking great you are! ๐
You are amazing, Rove! ๐
Thoughts when you are sick ๐
I never like having a night dream when I'm sick. ๐ My dreams tend to be weird! ๐ต
Weird but has a slice of possible truth.
Years ago, I was not able to fight my love for my ex. She already concluded that she wanted to have a "normal family". Get married to a male husband and have kids "naturally".
I didn't have any fighting chance about that. First, I couldn't provide a sperm cell to have my wife-to-be get pregnant "naturally". I just accepted the truth and moved on.
Now, I have my ใใใผ. I thought she can be my future wife whom will not ask much from me (e.g. give sperm cell for her to get pregnant). She isn't yet but it's not impossible that she'll ask for it. When that time comes, let's see if she will still choose to stay with me or not. Until then, I will give everything I could to win her heart everyday.
While waiting for my time to shine, I need to persevere until I get rich. In this world, money is the primary measure of success. When you are rich, you will not be bullied and you can do anything. It's a worldly rule. I just don't want to get bullied or will look pitiful in the end.
Truth hurts but it is the reality. When you are successful, you'll attract more - e.g. partner in life. You can perceive it as positive or negative. Positive as people will look at you as hardworking and someone to look up to. Negative as people may think, "people might hang around because you have money." It depends on how you will see it.
But as for me, I need to work hard and play hard to be successful and get rich. In this manner, I'll attract the same positive person who will with me to the rest of life - despite people have left me in the past.
So help me God. ๐
P.S. The best ring will be given to the person who will choose to grow with me until we get old. Through thick or thin. For riches or for poorer. Till death do us apart.
Best ring = my love and my sincerity.
Weird but has a slice of possible truth.
Years ago, I was not able to fight my love for my ex. She already concluded that she wanted to have a "normal family". Get married to a male husband and have kids "naturally".
I didn't have any fighting chance about that. First, I couldn't provide a sperm cell to have my wife-to-be get pregnant "naturally". I just accepted the truth and moved on.
Now, I have my ใใใผ. I thought she can be my future wife whom will not ask much from me (e.g. give sperm cell for her to get pregnant). She isn't yet but it's not impossible that she'll ask for it. When that time comes, let's see if she will still choose to stay with me or not. Until then, I will give everything I could to win her heart everyday.
While waiting for my time to shine, I need to persevere until I get rich. In this world, money is the primary measure of success. When you are rich, you will not be bullied and you can do anything. It's a worldly rule. I just don't want to get bullied or will look pitiful in the end.
Truth hurts but it is the reality. When you are successful, you'll attract more - e.g. partner in life. You can perceive it as positive or negative. Positive as people will look at you as hardworking and someone to look up to. Negative as people may think, "people might hang around because you have money." It depends on how you will see it.
But as for me, I need to work hard and play hard to be successful and get rich. In this manner, I'll attract the same positive person who will with me to the rest of life - despite people have left me in the past.
So help me God. ๐
P.S. The best ring will be given to the person who will choose to grow with me until we get old. Through thick or thin. For riches or for poorer. Till death do us apart.
Best ring = my love and my sincerity.
Thursday, August 02, 2018
Sickly day
I went home at 8pm. I burnt my tongue. ๐ While waiting for my Angkas driver, I bought Takoyaki from the Banchetto beside the office building. Without thinking, one piece landed right away inside my mouth. There was a worrisome face in the tindera's but it was too late to warned me.
I arrived home quarter to 9pm. I ate dinner right away - tahong, tokwa't baboy, rice, and the remaining Takoyaki I took out.
By the way, why I went home early? Surprising or not, I am sick! ๐๐ Cough worsen. Gotten a flu. Feverish and headache. I can no longer work from 5:30pm actually, but was trying to. Until I couldn't anymore as it will not make sense anymore. ๐
Took a hot bath after eating and now sleeping on the floor, front of my cabinet. It took a lot of effort for me to climb up and down from the bed just using a monoblock chair.
I hate getting sick! I very seldom get sick when I was young. And when I do, it's gonna be a high fever. This is also why I don't know what to do when I am not feeling well. I feel helpless even though I can do things on my own. ๐ท
On the other side, @&$%#¥£€ work! Role! Job! ๐คฌBecause of you, I can no longer go to Batanes with the plan in my mind. ๐ก There is no one I rely on in the team. During Kate's time, I can take a leave anytime as she is dependable. If she doesn't know the task, she'll exert effort to learn fast. And when she's on leave, I can also handle it without her. Now? They depend on me much. Their world is falling apart when I take a leave - SL or VL. It doesn't make sense as their levels are higher than me and I bet their salaries are higher than mine too. ๐
Now, I need to postpone my plan. Need to think of ways how to present it in HK or Macau. They are more of a city than nice and intimate sceneries. Gotta search and plan! ๐ง
Nobody will stop me even my bosses! I can no longer delay my lovelife for work. I already did this many times in the past and I can no longer afford to let the deserving and beautiful woman of my life slip away in front of me. ๐คจ
So help me God. ๐
I arrived home quarter to 9pm. I ate dinner right away - tahong, tokwa't baboy, rice, and the remaining Takoyaki I took out.
By the way, why I went home early? Surprising or not, I am sick! ๐๐ Cough worsen. Gotten a flu. Feverish and headache. I can no longer work from 5:30pm actually, but was trying to. Until I couldn't anymore as it will not make sense anymore. ๐
Took a hot bath after eating and now sleeping on the floor, front of my cabinet. It took a lot of effort for me to climb up and down from the bed just using a monoblock chair.
I hate getting sick! I very seldom get sick when I was young. And when I do, it's gonna be a high fever. This is also why I don't know what to do when I am not feeling well. I feel helpless even though I can do things on my own. ๐ท
On the other side, @&$%#¥£€ work! Role! Job! ๐คฌBecause of you, I can no longer go to Batanes with the plan in my mind. ๐ก There is no one I rely on in the team. During Kate's time, I can take a leave anytime as she is dependable. If she doesn't know the task, she'll exert effort to learn fast. And when she's on leave, I can also handle it without her. Now? They depend on me much. Their world is falling apart when I take a leave - SL or VL. It doesn't make sense as their levels are higher than me and I bet their salaries are higher than mine too. ๐
Now, I need to postpone my plan. Need to think of ways how to present it in HK or Macau. They are more of a city than nice and intimate sceneries. Gotta search and plan! ๐ง
Nobody will stop me even my bosses! I can no longer delay my lovelife for work. I already did this many times in the past and I can no longer afford to let the deserving and beautiful woman of my life slip away in front of me. ๐คจ
So help me God. ๐
Sunday, July 29, 2018
#Adulting
Seems like I already opened up 80% of my life to ใใใผ. I said things I've never told anyone from my entire life. ๐
If this is the case, she should be the person I'll end up with. If not, then it should be God's plan. Maybe, she's not the person I was and am praying for. ๐ But I'm hoping she is since I've already revealed half of my darkest life to her. ๐
This is the first time I felt I really have a true bestfriend. Haha! I have close friends but I only choose what they should know about me. I am always cautious telling stories about my darkest past since I always thought that nobody will understand it. That they will eventually judge me. And that everyone has their own darkest pasts and I don't want to add up to that. But yes, someone listened to it. I'm not sure if ใใใผ understood it but by just listening to it, it meant a lot to me.
For now, ใใใผ should know more about herself first. Get to know about herself. Maybe take some more personality tests and how to deal with any kind of situations. Self-help books, I could say. I'm just not sure if she's open with that. Some people find it interesting finding things about themselves by taking tests - like me! It's exciting to know more and more about oneself. And hope she is the same.
Also, would be nice if ใใใผ will have a diary where she can write her thoughts in a daily basis. That she is free to write whatever her thoughts are - away from judgement and scrutinizing eyes. It's a good tool to release all your emotions and busy thoughts.
For the meantime, I'll just watch from afar. Observe from afar. And be ready in case she needed someone to listen to her. I'll be just a one message away. ๐
My ใใใผ, ใใใฐใฃใฆ！ ๐ค๐
If this is the case, she should be the person I'll end up with. If not, then it should be God's plan. Maybe, she's not the person I was and am praying for. ๐ But I'm hoping she is since I've already revealed half of my darkest life to her. ๐
This is the first time I felt I really have a true bestfriend. Haha! I have close friends but I only choose what they should know about me. I am always cautious telling stories about my darkest past since I always thought that nobody will understand it. That they will eventually judge me. And that everyone has their own darkest pasts and I don't want to add up to that. But yes, someone listened to it. I'm not sure if ใใใผ understood it but by just listening to it, it meant a lot to me.
For now, ใใใผ should know more about herself first. Get to know about herself. Maybe take some more personality tests and how to deal with any kind of situations. Self-help books, I could say. I'm just not sure if she's open with that. Some people find it interesting finding things about themselves by taking tests - like me! It's exciting to know more and more about oneself. And hope she is the same.
Also, would be nice if ใใใผ will have a diary where she can write her thoughts in a daily basis. That she is free to write whatever her thoughts are - away from judgement and scrutinizing eyes. It's a good tool to release all your emotions and busy thoughts.
For the meantime, I'll just watch from afar. Observe from afar. And be ready in case she needed someone to listen to her. I'll be just a one message away. ๐
My ใใใผ, ใใใฐใฃใฆ！ ๐ค๐
Saturday, July 28, 2018
It takes time
I guess it's not yet the right time for me to move in with ใใใผ in the same place. There are things I still don't know about her. Simple things like, "where does she work?" It's a simple info but I don't actually have any idea.
What if something happened *knock on wood*, and I was asked about her workplace, what will I answer? What kind of partner I am if I don't know where she works?
I don't want something strange to happen in the future.. example, a friend asks me about ใใใผ. Basic info like what she does and where she works. What will I answer? "I don't know." "I'm not sure." "She doesn't tell me."
What will they think and say to me? "Friend, are you really sure with your partner?" "Is she involve to any illegal to make it a secret from you?" Or "Are you sure she's into you?" I don't fucking really care what people say but I also don't want to be the topic of any conversation. I don't like anyone doubting my ใใใผ or my love for her.
I'm quite nervous if someone will ask me, "Are you sure she treats you like a real bestfriend? Or you are the only one who sees her like a bestfriend?"
Well, I think we need more time to get to know each other. I don't want anyone forcing each other to be a bestfriend to each other.
Love cannot be forced. It is free and should be given wholeheartedly when ready. ๐
What if something happened *knock on wood*, and I was asked about her workplace, what will I answer? What kind of partner I am if I don't know where she works?
I don't want something strange to happen in the future.. example, a friend asks me about ใใใผ. Basic info like what she does and where she works. What will I answer? "I don't know." "I'm not sure." "She doesn't tell me."
What will they think and say to me? "Friend, are you really sure with your partner?" "Is she involve to any illegal to make it a secret from you?" Or "Are you sure she's into you?" I don't fucking really care what people say but I also don't want to be the topic of any conversation. I don't like anyone doubting my ใใใผ or my love for her.
I'm quite nervous if someone will ask me, "Are you sure she treats you like a real bestfriend? Or you are the only one who sees her like a bestfriend?"
Well, I think we need more time to get to know each other. I don't want anyone forcing each other to be a bestfriend to each other.
Love cannot be forced. It is free and should be given wholeheartedly when ready. ๐
Friday, July 20, 2018
#Adulting
*sigh*
I just miss my ใใใผ badly. Why it's difficult to find an apartment or condo for rent near Ayala?
As long as it's near my ใใใผ's workplace, I'm fine. Ayaw ko lang mapagod sya sa byahe, especially she still have whole day reviews during weekends. Mabawasan lang pagod nya sa byahe sa work.
As for me? I'm fine. I can commute or take Grab. I can spend up to 7k for a monthly rent.
Why I want to have own unit with ใใใผ? Para mas madalas ko na sya makikita kahit evening lang. ๐ข
Why adulting is very difficult...
I just miss my ใใใผ badly. Why it's difficult to find an apartment or condo for rent near Ayala?
As long as it's near my ใใใผ's workplace, I'm fine. Ayaw ko lang mapagod sya sa byahe, especially she still have whole day reviews during weekends. Mabawasan lang pagod nya sa byahe sa work.
As for me? I'm fine. I can commute or take Grab. I can spend up to 7k for a monthly rent.
Why I want to have own unit with ใใใผ? Para mas madalas ko na sya makikita kahit evening lang. ๐ข
Why adulting is very difficult...
Short sweet night ☺️
Had late night date with my ใใใผ. ๐
Though she's already tired and sleepy, she still catered my request. ๐ I felt sorry at the same time, excited to see her.
I missed her so much that I was just restraining myself and controlling myself to behave as much as possible. In my mind, I have already sprung into her arms and kissed her. ๐ But since I needed to act normal, I didn't do anything when I saw her. Just stared at her when we were eating. ☺️
Then when she kissed goodbye, I was secretly smiling while driving. I wanted more!! But of course, needed to act normal. ๐
Was hoping night never ends. But finally bid goodbye since she still has work early morning the next day. ๐
Goodnight my ใใใผ! I missed you! And I love you. ๐
Though she's already tired and sleepy, she still catered my request. ๐ I felt sorry at the same time, excited to see her.
I missed her so much that I was just restraining myself and controlling myself to behave as much as possible. In my mind, I have already sprung into her arms and kissed her. ๐ But since I needed to act normal, I didn't do anything when I saw her. Just stared at her when we were eating. ☺️
Then when she kissed goodbye, I was secretly smiling while driving. I wanted more!! But of course, needed to act normal. ๐
Was hoping night never ends. But finally bid goodbye since she still has work early morning the next day. ๐
Goodnight my ใใใผ! I missed you! And I love you. ๐
Wednesday, July 18, 2018
WFH due to flood ๐ต
Took wfh due to flood and heavy rains.
Did so many things in P&L. Reviewed again what they did. Seems like, my backup didn't do anything in the Changes Needed when I was on SL yesterday. Haha. Had first meeting with Piotr as the official new PM.
My cough is little by little disappearing. Thanks to my ใใใผ's advice about pure lemon and hot water. I will buy lemons again tomorrow. ๐
Had fun chatting/talking to my ใใใผ. I miss her. ๐ Hopefully, the weather tomorrow will be good so that I can finally leave the house. ๐ I'm excited to drop by at my ใใใผ's place after work. Though I only need to get things (Tiger's food, borrowed dress, etc), I'll grab the opportunity to see her. And hopefully, I can hug her. ☺️๐
G'nyt! ๐ช๐ด
On the side:
I declare to the universe that I am rich!!!
Rich in love!!
And money!! ๐๐๐
Did so many things in P&L. Reviewed again what they did. Seems like, my backup didn't do anything in the Changes Needed when I was on SL yesterday. Haha. Had first meeting with Piotr as the official new PM.
My cough is little by little disappearing. Thanks to my ใใใผ's advice about pure lemon and hot water. I will buy lemons again tomorrow. ๐
Had fun chatting/talking to my ใใใผ. I miss her. ๐ Hopefully, the weather tomorrow will be good so that I can finally leave the house. ๐ I'm excited to drop by at my ใใใผ's place after work. Though I only need to get things (Tiger's food, borrowed dress, etc), I'll grab the opportunity to see her. And hopefully, I can hug her. ☺️๐
G'nyt! ๐ช๐ด
On the side:
I declare to the universe that I am rich!!!
Rich in love!!
And money!! ๐๐๐
Rainy Tuesday
Took an SL today due to severe cough with chest pain. I took heed ใใใผ's advice to take pure lemon + hot water only - no honey. It's working I could say.
Also, Rhea and her baby finally went home. Just let Adrian borrowed the 5k for hospital bill. I told them to pay it back on or before Aug 17.
The baby is cute. ๐ถ๐ผ
Thank you God for another angel. ๐
Also, Rhea and her baby finally went home. Just let Adrian borrowed the 5k for hospital bill. I told them to pay it back on or before Aug 17.
The baby is cute. ๐ถ๐ผ
Thank you God for another angel. ๐
Sunday, July 15, 2018
My Human Bestfriend
My ใใใผ
Is the kind of woman who always tell you, "I got this", "No, I'm fine." She's the Ms. Independent that everyone looks up to.
But deep inside, there's a little girl who needs to be taken care of and protected of. And I want to be her knight and shining armor and nurse ๐ as much as I could.
When she's sick, she doesn't take any meds or herbal drinks. She just rely on her self. Though how much you'd tell her that meds - herbal or not - will help her get well sooner, she's still not doing it. She's very stubborn. ๐คฆ๐ป♂️ Even her vitamins, kailangan mo pa sya utuin para uminom sya. Very stubborn. ๐คฆ๐ป♂️ You need to have lots of patience when dealing with her. Talo pa nya maliit na bata. ๐ค I'm stubborn yes, pero hindi kasing stubborn nya. ๐
Anyhow, I still like her and love her. I still wanted to be there, by her side. Dealing with her unpredicted and childish behavior, one needs to have love and very long patience. And, napapractice patience ko sa kanya. ๐ฃ Seems like, God placed her to be with me so that I can practice and earn what I lack - patience.
I will just make myself always available for her since I'm still her bestfriend anyway. ๐
My ใใใผ.
Is the kind of woman who always tell you, "I got this", "No, I'm fine." She's the Ms. Independent that everyone looks up to.
But deep inside, there's a little girl who needs to be taken care of and protected of. And I want to be her knight and shining armor and nurse ๐ as much as I could.
When she's sick, she doesn't take any meds or herbal drinks. She just rely on her self. Though how much you'd tell her that meds - herbal or not - will help her get well sooner, she's still not doing it. She's very stubborn. ๐คฆ๐ป♂️ Even her vitamins, kailangan mo pa sya utuin para uminom sya. Very stubborn. ๐คฆ๐ป♂️ You need to have lots of patience when dealing with her. Talo pa nya maliit na bata. ๐ค I'm stubborn yes, pero hindi kasing stubborn nya. ๐
Anyhow, I still like her and love her. I still wanted to be there, by her side. Dealing with her unpredicted and childish behavior, one needs to have love and very long patience. And, napapractice patience ko sa kanya. ๐ฃ Seems like, God placed her to be with me so that I can practice and earn what I lack - patience.
I will just make myself always available for her since I'm still her bestfriend anyway. ๐
My ใใใผ.
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Go Back Couple
I just finished watching Go Back Couple. In Episode 11, I can feel you Choi Ban Do. ๐ We're on the same boat. I am also trying so hard. I’m always sincere. But why...
Conclusion:
Look at the bigger picture. We won't know anything unless we look at all perspectives at different angles.
Conclusion:
Look at the bigger picture. We won't know anything unless we look at all perspectives at different angles.
Would feel nice ☺️
I was talking to Api and Tigs. Told them, "When I left, bahala na sila Ate Rhea and mama sa inyo ah. Take care of each other."
"Wala talaga willing na ipaglaban ako. Am I not worth fighting for?" Sabay tawa. ๐
Am I not really worth fighting for? ๐ง
Hmmmm.. my mom fought for me when I had the trials in court.
I couldn't think of anything else besides this. (Except for God, He always protect me.) Most instances are, I was the one who fought for them. Or I was all alone standing for myself.
Am I born a fighter and a protector?
It would feel nice if someone fights for you too. ☺️๐
"Wala talaga willing na ipaglaban ako. Am I not worth fighting for?" Sabay tawa. ๐
Am I not really worth fighting for? ๐ง
Hmmmm.. my mom fought for me when I had the trials in court.
I couldn't think of anything else besides this. (Except for God, He always protect me.) Most instances are, I was the one who fought for them. Or I was all alone standing for myself.
Am I born a fighter and a protector?
It would feel nice if someone fights for you too. ☺️๐
Yey or yay
Ok. I already bought my one way ticket. ๐ Yey! $370 though. ๐ญ I cannot buy Apple Watch anymore. Yay!
Maybe the Batanes trip is my last trip before I set off or the HK-Macau trip? ๐ let's see. My one way ticket is flexible anyway. ๐๐คฃ๐
Spend everything off. ๐๐
Maybe the Batanes trip is my last trip before I set off or the HK-Macau trip? ๐ let's see. My one way ticket is flexible anyway. ๐๐คฃ๐
Spend everything off. ๐๐
๐๐คฃ๐
Haha.
Ok.
Sad.
But ok lang.
Haha!
Basta tuloy tayo Rove sa Batanes! Haha!
Then, ready mo na resignation letter mo. And buy kana open date plane ticket sa PAL. ๐
Baka wala talaga dito sa PH yung "the one" mo. ๐๐๐๐๐ We don't know, baka after a year or two sa country na pupuntahan mo, engage kana. ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐ Soulmate ang peg? ๐คฃ
Get rich and grab that forever in the future~!
So help me God. ๐
Ok.
Sad.
But ok lang.
Haha!
Basta tuloy tayo Rove sa Batanes! Haha!
Then, ready mo na resignation letter mo. And buy kana open date plane ticket sa PAL. ๐
Baka wala talaga dito sa PH yung "the one" mo. ๐๐๐๐๐ We don't know, baka after a year or two sa country na pupuntahan mo, engage kana. ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐ Soulmate ang peg? ๐คฃ
Get rich and grab that forever in the future~!
So help me God. ๐
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