#Adulting

Seems like I already opened up 80% of my life to ハニー. I said things I've never told anyone from my entire life. 😖

If this is the case, she should be the person I'll end up with. If not, then it should be God's plan. Maybe, she's not the person I was and am praying for. 🙏 But I'm hoping she is since I've already revealed half of my darkest life to her. 😕

This is the first time I felt I really have a true bestfriend. Haha! I have close friends but I only choose what they should know about me. I am always cautious telling stories about my darkest past since I always thought that nobody will understand it. That they will eventually judge me. And that everyone has their own darkest pasts and I don't want to add up to that. But yes, someone listened to it. I'm not sure if ハニー understood it but by just listening to it, it meant a lot to me.

For now, ハニー should know more about herself first. Get to know about herself. Maybe take some more personality tests and how to deal with any kind of situations. Self-help books, I could say. I'm just not sure if she's open with that. Some people find it interesting finding things about themselves by taking tests - like me! It's exciting to know more and more about oneself. And hope she is the same.

Also, would be nice if ハニー will have a diary where she can write her thoughts in a daily basis. That she is free to write whatever her thoughts are - away from judgement and scrutinizing eyes. It's a good tool to release all your emotions and busy thoughts.

For the meantime, I'll just watch from afar. Observe from afar. And be ready in case she needed someone to listen to her. I'll be just a one message away. 😉

My ハニー, がんばって！ 🤟😁

It takes time

I guess it's not yet the right time for me to move in with ハニー in the same place. There are things I still don't know about her. Simple things like, "where does she work?" It's a simple info but I don't actually have any idea.

What if something happened *knock on wood*, and I was asked about her workplace, what will I answer? What kind of partner I am if I don't know where she works?

I don't want something strange to happen in the future.. example, a friend asks me about ハニー. Basic info like what she does and where she works. What will I answer? "I don't know." "I'm not sure." "She doesn't tell me."

What will they think and say to me? "Friend, are you really sure with your partner?" "Is she involve to any illegal to make it a secret from you?" Or "Are you sure she's into you?" I don't fucking really care what people say but I also don't want to be the topic of any conversation. I don't like anyone doubting my ハニー or my love for her.

I'm quite nervous if someone will ask me, "Are you sure she treats you like a real bestfriend? Or you are the only one who sees her like a bestfriend?"

Well, I think we need more time to get to know each other. I don't want anyone forcing each other to be a bestfriend to each other.

Love cannot be forced. It is free and should be given wholeheartedly when ready. 😊

#Adulting

*sigh*

I just miss my ハニー badly. Why it's difficult to find an apartment or condo for rent near Ayala?

As long as it's near my ハニー's workplace, I'm fine. Ayaw ko lang mapagod sya sa byahe, especially she still have whole day reviews during weekends. Mabawasan lang pagod nya sa byahe sa work.

As for me? I'm fine. I can commute or take Grab. I can spend up to 7k for a monthly rent.

Why I want to have own unit with ハニー? Para mas madalas ko na sya makikita kahit evening lang. 😢

Why adulting is very difficult...

Short sweet night ☺️

Had late night date with my ハニー. 😍

Though she's already tired and sleepy, she still catered my request. 😞 I felt sorry at the same time, excited to see her.

I missed her so much that I was just restraining myself and controlling myself to behave as much as possible. In my mind, I have already sprung into her arms and kissed her. 😂 But since I needed to act normal, I didn't do anything when I saw her. Just stared at her when we were eating. ☺️

Then when she kissed goodbye, I was secretly smiling while driving. I wanted more!! But of course, needed to act normal. 😜

Was hoping night never ends. But finally bid goodbye since she still has work early morning the next day. 😁

Goodnight my ハニー! I missed you! And I love you. 😘

WFH due to flood 😵

Took wfh due to flood and heavy rains.

Did so many things in P&L. Reviewed again what they did. Seems like, my backup didn't do anything in the Changes Needed when I was on SL yesterday. Haha. Had first meeting with Piotr as the official new PM.

My cough is little by little disappearing. Thanks to my ハニー's advice about pure lemon and hot water. I will buy lemons again tomorrow. 😉

Had fun chatting/talking to my ハニー. I miss her. 😞 Hopefully, the weather tomorrow will be good so that I can finally leave the house. 😒 I'm excited to drop by at my ハニー's place after work. Though I only need to get things (Tiger's food, borrowed dress, etc), I'll grab the opportunity to see her. And hopefully, I can hug her. ☺️😊

G'nyt! 😪😴

On the side:
I declare to the universe that I am rich!!!
Rich in love!!
And money!! 😂😂😂

Rainy Tuesday

Took an SL today due to severe cough with chest pain. I took heed ハニー's advice to take pure lemon + hot water only - no honey. It's working I could say.

Also, Rhea and her baby finally went home. Just let Adrian borrowed the 5k for hospital bill. I told them to pay it back on or before Aug 17.

The baby is cute. 👶🏼

Thank you God for another angel. 🙏

My Human Bestfriend

My ハニー

Is the kind of woman who always tell you, "I got this", "No, I'm fine." She's the Ms. Independent that everyone looks up to.

But deep inside, there's a little girl who needs to be taken care of and protected of. And I want to be her knight and shining armor and nurse 😁 as much as I could.

When she's sick, she doesn't take any meds or herbal drinks. She just rely on her self. Though how much you'd tell her that meds - herbal or not - will help her get well sooner, she's still not doing it. She's very stubborn. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Even her vitamins, kailangan mo pa sya utuin para uminom sya. Very stubborn. 🤦🏻‍♂️ You need to have lots of patience when dealing with her. Talo pa nya maliit na bata. 😤 I'm stubborn yes, pero hindi kasing stubborn nya. 😑

Anyhow, I still like her and love her. I still wanted to be there, by her side. Dealing with her unpredicted and childish behavior, one needs to have love and very long patience. And, napapractice patience ko sa kanya. 😣 Seems like, God placed her to be with me so that I can practice and earn what I lack - patience.

I will just make myself always available for her since I'm still her bestfriend anyway. 😁

My ハニー.

Go Back Couple

I just finished watching Go Back Couple. In Episode 11, I can feel you Choi Ban Do. 😞 We're on the same boat. I am also trying so hard. I’m always sincere. But why...

Conclusion:
Look at the bigger picture. We won't know anything unless we look at all perspectives at different angles.

Would feel nice ☺️

I was talking to Api and Tigs. Told them, "When I left, bahala na sila Ate Rhea and mama sa inyo ah. Take care of each other."

"Wala talaga willing na ipaglaban ako. Am I not worth fighting for?" Sabay tawa. 😆

Am I not really worth fighting for? 🧐

Hmmmm.. my mom fought for me when I had the trials in court.

I couldn't think of anything else besides this. (Except for God, He always protect me.) Most instances are, I was the one who fought for them. Or I was all alone standing for myself.

Am I born a fighter and a protector?

It would feel nice if someone fights for you too. ☺️😊

Yey or yay

Ok. I already bought my one way ticket. 😆 Yey! $370 though. 😭 I cannot buy Apple Watch anymore. Yay!

Maybe the Batanes trip is my last trip before I set off or the HK-Macau trip? 😂 let's see. My one way ticket is flexible anyway. 😂🤣😂

Spend everything off. 😎😂

😂🤣😂

Haha.

Ok.

Sad.

But ok lang.

Haha!

Basta tuloy tayo Rove sa Batanes! Haha!

Then, ready mo na resignation letter mo. And buy kana open date plane ticket sa PAL. 😉

Baka wala talaga dito sa PH yung "the one" mo. 😂😂😂😂😂 We don't know, baka after a year or two sa country na pupuntahan mo, engage kana. 😂🤣😂🤣😂 Soulmate ang peg? 🤣

Get rich and grab that forever in the future~!

So help me God. 🙏

💍⛰🙏🏻

As you know, I've been looking for a 💍 for several months already.

Now, I've found the perfect 💍.

However, I am thinking that it might not be the right time to give ハニー a 💍. I'm afraid she might reject it. Worst case, throw it in front of my face. 😣 If that happens, I'm wishing I have the power to suddenly disappear. (I'm watching too much dramas. 😆)🤦🏻‍♂️

I think I should wait for that right time and perfect moment. How about in one of our trips? Batanes has the perfect sceneries to have that moment. 😁

Let's see. Let's see if ハニー will join me in the Batanes trip ⛰ or I will end up alone. 😅

So help me God. 🙏🏻

Good night ⭐️

I was browsing my Chrome pages and I saw this:

https://www.professional-counselling.com/arguing_couples.html

Re-read this again. And sure, I forgot many things. Nice I revisited this again.

LOVE

L - earn. In order to learn, listen.

O - bserve. Observe the other person's body language

V - erify. Clarify information.

E - mphatise. Keep you mr heart open at all times.

——-

God, please heal ハニー and Net2x from all the sickness that have come to them. If it's possible, give all the illnesses to me. I can still handle more of it. I just don't want to see them suffering. 😖 Amen!

Long day

For the past few days and nights, I was in pain. Pain in heart and throat.

Was able to talk to ハニー. Finally, I was able to tell her the reason I don't like her two stalkers. The way they behaved and showed their true colors. They are the kind of people you cannot entrusted anyone from your family nor friends.

Respect. They don't respect themselves.

I suddenly remembered the time I found out that my first love had a first relationship. I stopped. I stopped looking in social media nor contacting her. For me, it's the end. She's happy and they're happy. I was just wishing him that he'll not hurt my first love.

It's not because I'm torpe. I know it's given but I respect her. I respect her decision. And I also respect myself. I should not be the reason for anyone's heartaches.

And I was taught as a kid that "karma is real". 😁 I mean is, "Do unto others what you want others do unto you."

Though I know that the world is unfair no matter how fair I am to it, I still should do what my moral has brought me.

I deactivated my FB and signed out the rest. The only social media I use is Viber. I wanted to use plainly the basics (SMS and phone call). But I was told to use FB Messenger again since ハニー doesn't have load always.

Yesterday, it was in a triple date. 😁 I was happy and at the same time, very full. 😂 I still have debt to ハニー.

Earlier, my doctor's secretary messaged me about my appointment tomorrow at 10am. I asked my mother if she can go with me. No response yet. Then I just thought while in the bath that my sister be admitted at the hospital, tomorrow too. Now, I'm thinking. Can I go by myself? Can my sister be admitted later in the afternoon after my check-up? Or should I re-sched my appointment to next month? (My doctor will be abroad next week.)

I will also buy my watch tomorrow late afternoon. Planning to get Nike Series 3 of Apple watch.

Let's see later what my mother will say.

Get rich! 😎

Hanggang kelan kaya ko lalaban.

"It always takes two to tango."

In a relationship, it should always be both parties fighting for their love. If it's gonna be only one person, di magtatagal, mapapagod din ito. Gaya nalang sa paglalakad. Hindi pedeng kanan paa lang ang dumidikit sa sahig at ang kaliwa ay nakarest lang. In no time, mapapagod at mapapagod ang kanan paa, matitisod, then worst, magka-injury pa.

I'll give ハニー a week. I'll keep on fighting for a week. Then after a week, I'll take a rest. Then fight again. Let's see until when I'm gonna fight alone.

For now, I should do what I should do - get rich!

I should get rich! So that I won't have to worry about it when the time has come I need to prioritize personal love life again. And just like what my wild dream when I was a kid - "so I can attract a beautiful and independent woman". 😂🤣😂

And oh! I wanna make myself happy! Spend things (impulsively) to things that can make me happy even temporary. 😆 I'm gonna buy things I was deprived of for several months, years already. 😆

Good luck Rove!

Let's go for that land in Palawan! Sign the contract! Build your inn! And get rich! 😎😎😎

#ThisIsRealLife

Rox has resigned.
Innah doesn't want DJ to return to team after her leave, though Rafal wants her to stay.
Denise expressed her desire to leave the team the soonest.
Rac is already in-line for rotation on Jan 2019.
We have two new people: Yven and Edward.
Jac will only stay until end of Aug though she wanted to stay for good.

People come, people go, and people stay.

ハニー wants to go too.

Me? This will leave me no choice but to leave too.
I'll prepare my resignation letter just in case. And my money for a one-way ticket to somewhere-of-no-return.

If ハニー really wanted to go, then there's no reason for me to stay here in PH anymore.

I love you PH
But people come, people go, and people stay.

#ThisIsRealLife

I dont exist

Tonight, I'll go straight to my final redemption.

Please tell my mom that her car will be parked in one of the hotels in Tagaytay. It will be safe and sound.

There's no option for me anymore since nobody wanted my existence.

Sent from my iPhone

......

I dreamt, I died.

I was hoping it was real. Why? It's better than not wanting by the person you care. It's not as painful as what I'm feeling right now.

Would be better if I died so that I won't have to suffer each day/night thinking why the person you care doesn't care you at all.

Be it a dream or not, I already died anyway.

#SoundtrackOfMyLife

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place,

Like somehow you just don't belong

And no one understands you?

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you're screaming?

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more

Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With their big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you're bleeding

^_^

Weird I am.

I'm weird. Yes, I am weird.

I suddenly stands up and sit at the corner looking down below from my window.

I don't think twice and I act very impulsively. It makes me happy and a little regretful at the same time. But then, still happy in the end.

I'm weird. Yes, I'm weird.

I act randomly and do things normal people don't like doing.

I'm still OC and wants things in order despite I love going on adventures.

I'm weird. Yes, I'm weird.

I want to save at the same time, dying to spend all of it to travel and get lost.

I prefer being at the highest place looking at the city lights at night. But also love looking at the mountains and forests during the day.

I'm weird. Yes, I'm weird.

Only selected people who wanted to get to know me can see the beauty of this weirdness.

Let’s do this!

I'll do something crazy tonight. And I hope this is the chance I can grab that forever freedom.

People doesn't like talking to me? Fine. I'm not good in dealing this loneliness.

I should have already ended this stupid life long time ago. -_- #coward

Playing BubbleWitch and reading book are just letting me pass this time until tonight. Looking at my glass window from the 10th makes me think that "to fly is really the best"!

#letsdothis

Wanna be back to a gamer?

*sigh*

You know the feeling
That each day, you're just trying to make it through to Friday.

You know that me and Innah are already uncomfortable with each other after the incident.
If she's not, then I am always alert and careful to anything I say. I'm no longer joking around her.

Then my mom? Everytime she calls my name, kinakabahan ako. It's either she'll give me food or talk about money. If she does the latter, I'm always wishing that I'll be a bubble that suddenly disappear.

Then ハニー？ She's still not talking to me. I just wanted to ask if I can sleepover at their place tonight and tomorrow night since I'll be in Mckinley in those days.

Well, sometimes, I'm wishing that today is the end of my life. That I'll face an accident that will cause my life to give up. Maybe it's time to change my prayer.

Instead of "God, please keep me, my family, and love ones away from any sickness and harm that are lurking around."

Should be into, "God, please keep my family and love ones be safe and away from any harm and sickness. Don't mind me."

It's Tues, let's make it through to Friday, Rove. Then just spend the weekend playing. With that, you'll never have to deal with real life people. Real people that never understands you. In aa game, you are free to do anything you want. You have friends there and it's a great stress-reliever. Haha!

K.

Puro raw lovelife iniintindi ko.

Okay fine. Di na muna ko mag memessage or call para walang lovelife muna.

On the other side, who made me this? After all the lies and secrets, who made me into this?

Sent from my iPhone

Date! Bonding!

Yesterday, Rhea and I played L4D2. Haha!

Today, I played CS GO. 😂

Rhea, Venice, and I went to SM Masinag. Sisters’ date! Bought cat sand, Api’s vitamins, and Api’s denstix. We also bought humidifier as it was in promo. From 2k to 800 for SM Rewards’ holder. We then ate at Jolibee as requested by Venice.

At night, fetch ハニー at LRT2 Santolan. And went to Burger King. It was a fries buffet with Rhea’s friends - Camille. 

It was a tiring but fun day! 😁