Rejection is a gift

I just realized, being rejected is not a bad thing. It means, saving you from further pain and getting lost. That's why I should be thankful for all rejections I experience. 😄

Thank you God. ☺️

——

10/19 10:30PM

I just realized, it’s also a good thing since I still cannot stand her getting busy in her phone when it’s just the two of us. But when she’s with other people, may or may not including me, she seldom hold her phone. People who are busy chatting online are greatly influence by social media. All the emotions and mood for the day depend on it, which I don’t want to be with for the rest of my life. I prefer to be with someone who can disconnect; and has respect and contented with our companionship. Most of the times, only mature people can do it - means, same era as mine. We’ve grown up without the technology. So we can live without it. 😉

At the age of looking a partner

Napagiiwanan na ata ko ng panahon. Haha! Mga online friends ko, may mga lovelife na. 😅 They have the same age as mine.

Gusto ko lang naman faithful, loyal, consistent, and mature partner. I don't particularly look sa external. Minsan nga, mas attracted ako sa chubby kesa sa thin.

Gusto na kita makilala at ligawan... para we have more years to get to know each other. At hopefully, at the age of 34, mag propose na ko sayo. And get married with you at the age of 35.

Sabi nga nila, wala naman sa tagal nang pagsasama ang mga kinakasal. Kaya kahit 2 years of dating, magppropose na ko sayo. Kaya okay lang siguro mameet kita when I reach the age of 32. Siguro naman, may own house na ko nun. Sa ngayon, tapusin ko muna Masters ko. Then magpapayaman ako. Para pag nagpropose ako sayo, wala kana iisiping financials. I'll be as reliable than you think and you can lean on me. 😊

See you soon my future wife~ I wanna call you Hon. 😁😋

——

2:02AM
Let’s avoid going back to the time you devoted yourself following チャ’s favors all the time. She’s not your girlfriend, remember? She’s not your queen. She’s just a best friend and a family. You don’t need to serve her. Be available until you find your true queen.

With all the pain and pride, I risked asking チャ a question. And as expected, the answer is still “no”. I respect her decision. Then this is why I promised her that I will never ask her again if I can court her. I promised to her that I will not romantically fall for her anymore. This is what she likes and I have my word. I will remember it as long as my memory won’t fail me. And where’s my pride? I thought I’ve learned my lesson? *whew*

Improve yourself, R. Continue beautifying yourself - inside and out. There are more better fishes in the sea. And the most beautiful one will soon find its way to you. Be patient. God is preparing you and her.

-R

Sign of Aging

Haha! Kaya ayaw ko masyado nagsasaya sa birthday ko eh. Kasi for sure, iiyak na naman ako pagkatapos. -_-" XD

Yan na nga eh. Haha! Hindi na ko nadala. 

Kailangan ko na iwasan yung pag eenjoy masyado. Hindi na ko pede umiyak pa. My chest is literally in pain na when I'm sad. And my hands are shakey and namamanhid. -_- Signs of aging. Hahaha!

I better shut off myself from everyone.

Love life

Buti pa yung mga pusa, may unli food. 😂 Ako till now, wala makain. 😆

Ba't ang complicated ng tao? Kaya gustung gusto ko maging introvert at magkulong lang sa kwarto nung bata eh. Ang complicated ng human being. It's difficult to deal with them - too many dramas. 😒

My depression? I pupush-up ko nalang to. Then move along...hanggang sa mapagod na mag-adulting. 😆 Anyway, if you're going to look at it, boring naman talaga ang maging tao. Paikot ikot lang. Nakakasawa. 😏

Bahay-office. Bahay-school. (Repeat) what I will do hanggang sa totally na mapagod and end everything. Haha! Swerte ng iba, hindi na maghihirap pa kakaisip pano mabuhay. They're quiet and happy na sa place nila. Darating din ako dun! Hahaha!

Sent from my iPhone

Remember me~

Haay.. Nakapag move on na ko. Pero the way she treats me ay parang kami, she's making me fall in love with her again. I don't want to fall in love with her again - ever. Sabihin mo ng "di makamove on?" Pero I should have learned my lesson.

Remember, you've been cheated and lied many times by the same person already. At ayaw mo ng maulit ulit yun. Tama na ang pagpapakatanga. Hindi lang sya ang nagiisang babae sa mundo. Mas marami pa dyang mas maganda, loyal, faithful, consistent, and wifey-material. You deserve someone great Rove. Never settle to things that are far less. Always remember that.

Hindi naman magbabago yung fact na she's your family and best friend. Yan naman yung di mawawala sa inyo. Pero her to be your future wife? Marami pa syang kailangan patunayan sayo na she's a changed person. It will take years. But hindi mo sya kailangan antayin Rove. At di ka nya kailangan antayin. One day, when your The One arrive, grab her fast. ☺️

So help us God. Amen!

Happy birthday to Cha and me. 😊

Many chances have given...

For all the lies, cheating you've done..I've forgiven you already. But it doesn't mean that I will forget everything. These lessons are my reminder not to fall in love with you again. I no longer see you as my future partner nor wife. I've already moved on.

I know that someday, you'll get mature and can change for the better. When that day comes, you will meet the only person who you will think, "I will be loyal and faithful to this person whatever happens. It's time to get serious as I don't want to lose this person." Then I will be happy and proud of you as your family and best friend. 😊

But for now, my take is, I don't like nor want you to be my girlfriend nor romantic partner again. I see highly of myself and I know my worth. I will not give myself to someone who is far less than me. Someone who frequently tell lies and chose to commit mistakes over and over again. It's better to be alone than to involve myself with monkeys. 😋

I love you my little sister and my best friend. God bless you.

Swerte.. where are thou?

Napagiiwanan na ko. 😆 Mga friends ko na nameet ko online ay kung hindi may jowa na ngayon, exclusively dating na. 😅 We started as singles then I'm the only one ended single still.

Choosy ba ko masyado? Di naman. 😋

Search lang. And wait. And be open minded for any possibilities. -- Ito naman ginagawa ko ah. Haha! Baka nga wala dito sa Pinas yung future wife ko.

Basta alam ko, i-grab ko nalang lahat ng opportunities. Maybe because I'm in a debt pa. Nababaon ako sa CC debt dahil I am still sticking with チャ. Hindi naman kami ah. Bakit pinag gagastusan ko parin sya? She's not even my gf nor my queen. Maybe because, I should contribute here since I am staying here. Mas nakakatipid ba talaga ako na andito ako compared nasa bahay ako? Transpo, yes. But food and pet supplies, and other adhoc, nope.

Anyway, need ko i-redirect expenses ko to other things - na mas makabuluhan at beneficial sakin. My education, my travels, or my lovelife. 😁

Baka kailangan ko na magka-lovelife ulit para naman swertihin ako sa career or makakuha ng new work..? Hahaha!

God, ang ilap sakin ng swerte. Wala na nga lovelife, negative pa financials. 😅 Hanap ko lang naman po ay loyal, faithful, and consistent future wife at mas mataas na source of income. 😢

God, please help me. I lay everything back to you - my plans, my heart's desires, and my life. In Jesus name, amen!

Rewards are given to those who wait

But despite all these, at the end of the day, I still remain a loyal and faithful best friend.

Why why why? Waeyo?! 🤨

That if I'm going to cross a path between choosing a newly-found-friend-possible-turn-to-a-lover and チャ, I'm still going to choose チャ.

Why why why?! 😳

I also don't know! Maybe what we had was more than a romantic partner/lover and a best friend.

A soulmate? 😏

Maybe! But all I know, I still don't want to get involve sexually with anyone - even チャ. Kisses, hugs, and others are okay with チャ, but no sex nor foreplay. No no no. Maybe, I am still not ready to trust チャ romantically again. I don't want to hurry. She still has a lot to prove (change for the better and become mature). And because we don't know, チャ might not be my future wife. Or チャ should end up with someone else. So to make both of us clean before that destined partner/s arrive, we should be in controlled of our mind, our heart, and our body.

"Patience is a virtue."
"Rewards are given to those who wait."

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

——

I trust you God. All my desires and plans, I raise it all up to you. Guid me Holy Spirit in this life's journey - unto His purpose on my life.

In Jesus name, amen!

Rethink

Whew~

Ba't ba ko nag-eeffort..na parang girlfriend ko sya. 😒 Ganito ginawa ko sa kanya dati, nung kami pa. Todo hanap ng magandang getaway and some surprises para icelebrate birthday nya. To make her happy and smile.

But matagal nang hindi kami, walang kami. So I should treat her like how I treat my other close friends and my family. I don't plan this hard for my family. Just a simple cake and food celebration will do.

Ito yung mga effort na ginagawa mo lang sa special someone mo. Same effort when you do your travel itinerary.

Why am I doing this? Seems like I still got a need to please her. 😕 No no Rove. You don't have to please her anymore. She's a best friend and a family, not your girlfriend nor fiancé. So stop and re-think. 😊 Reserve your efforts, energies, and finances to your future gf/fiancé/wife. 😉

——

God, kelan nyo po ba ipapakilala sakin yung The One ko.. 😞 Kahit friends lang muna. Hindi naman ako nagmamadali. I would like to get to know her for a year or more before I ask her if I can court her.

Girls and Boys 😒

Why do women or I should say, girls like being degraded by boys when they are fighting? When I say degraded, boys throw harsh and mean words unto the girls - may it be in person or in social media. These boys are being disrespectful. Why don't these girls realize that if they are being treated like that in an early stage, how much more when they got married? And worst, girls still coming back to these boys over and over again even though they were disrespected over and over again. Seems like they don't have self-respect. People tend to leave if they see someone is unable to self-love.

What made me say this?
Rhea and Adrian are on it again. For many years, over and over again. No change.
Then I remembered the time Cha and Jake were like that (though Cha said never naging sila, pero looking at how they fought, parang sila).

As for me, I now prefer to say things once. Ayaw ko masira araw ko dahil lang sa pagtatalo ng ibang tao. Bahala kayo. Basta once I said my part, done na ko.

——

For チャ? I cannot still give my romantic love and 100% trust to her. I'm more cautious now. Last night, I know she wanted to release her stress. But I did't take heed 100%. I only let her kissed me and I did until br****s only. I didn't wanna go further. Why? In the first place, hindi kami. She's not my girlfriend. Why should I please her? Second, I respect other people living in her house. And I was thinking that time, "No, she has not proven 100% yet that she has changed or matured." It's still first week of 4th month. Marami pang araw ang Oct para mag reconnect sila ulit ni Jake. And I will not get myself involve ever again to cheaters and liars like them. I don't fucking care if their love will rekindle or what, as long as I put myself away from チャ. Graduate na ko sa kanya. Ika nga nila, "Don't settle to things that's far less than you." You deserve more. She hasn't completely proven it yet anyway. She has to earn my trust.

Basta I will just keep myself single until dumating yung right woman to be wife. 😊 Till then, I just need to improve myself more and more.

——

Dear future wife,

I'm sorry kung offtrack parin ako sa finances ko as of this month. Don't worry, makaka-ahon din ako. Naparami lang gastos ko dahil sa pagtulong sa family. Surprise! I'm still single. 😆 Don't worry, チャ is just a family and best friend. I'm still making myself single till the day we meet each other. At I'll make sure na before that day arrives, ready na financials ko. 😁 Just do whatever you need to do. God will soon make us meet each other. Be patient as I am also patient. 😊 I will patiently wait for you my queen.

Your loyal and faithful knight,
R 😎