God will reward all the hard work

As much as I want to be successful ASAP, I couldn't be - not unless I won a lottery. Everything takes time and everything should be on its perfect timing.

I dream of being a billionaire. But I know it will take a lot of hard work, patience, and time.

If my partner couldn't wait any longer, my partner has a choice. I should not stop anyone from exiting my life. If they think I can no longer serve a purpose for their life, then they can leave. As for me, I will just do what I think I should do - work hard, invest, save, and trust Him. In due time, every hard work will pay off. I don't want also to pressure myself too much, it will give me more and more stress. And if it will do, my depression will be back again. I can no longer afford to see myself suffer from depression. I can't! I don't want!

God, let Your will thy be done. I respect all the people in my life. We have our own choices in life. It's just a matter how well we'll work together for the greater goal.


Soon, I will be successful and damn rich! Whether I'm single, in a relationship, or married, it doesn't matter. Whether I will be alone or with a partner while pursuing my dreams, it doesn't matter. I should just do what I should do. The right person will come and stay with you in perfect time, in God's time.

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." -Dory

#WorkHardWhileYolo

Not a punching bag

The more you exert effort, the more you are taken for granted and the more hurtful things you'll receive - verbal or physical.

I'm not a punching bag...always remember that.

Waiting for my queen

I don't know why I am waiting.
But I will wait anyway.
People told me to just leave and go home.
But I couldn't.

I don't know what's up with this Jae fella. Looks like s/he has a grudge towards me. When ハニー's mom is at the condo, she gladly opens the door and tell me to go to the room and see ハニー. But this Jae? S/he's different. S/he will not open the door at all and pretend no one is inside the condo, making me look like a fool. S/he even turned off the doorbell. And waited for the guard to tell me to wait at the ground floor's lobby. This Jae is acting auspicious and selfish. S/he doesn't want Cha to be met with other people except him/her. I am my ハニー's husband! For his/her information, I have the rights to see my wife in every way! Looks like Jae have this secret feelings toward my ハニー. "A snake hiding from his/her den."

I will wait for my ハニーuntil she wakes up. I will just be here. Hopefully, the guard will not find me here. 😆

Worth 🧐

My partner told me these:

"Napakadali mo lang palitan. Kayang kaya kita palitan kahit kelan ko gusto."

"Widen your circle."

"Maghanap ka ng ibang kausap."

First. You can already know your worth to her. How much you mean to her. It's like she didn't really need you at all.

Second. Yep, you are right. I should hang out with other people too. Say "no" to you and say "yes" to them won't hurt.

Third. Yep, you are right. It’s kinda obvious I don't have anyone to talk to during off work especially weekend. I got to find people whom I can talk to regularly especially when off work.

——

Why until now, I am still the same? People I liked/loved didn't really see me romantically. I was heartbroken many times. No one reciprocated my love honestly. To think of it, I should have reciprocated the very few people who liked me in the past. I should have given up right away the persons who I did try to show my intention but then rejected me.

Now, I still looked the same - even to the person I am already committed with. She said it clearly, I am nothing but someone who's easy to discard anytime she likes.

Alyssa, Kuya RJ, Danilo... I should have reciprocated your adoration to me in the past. Thank you for your time and effort. I should have been nicer to you guys. 😔

The number of people who rejected me is way more than the very few persons who liked me in the past. And I thank you all, it taught me lesson. It thought me to be tough and when to raise my heart's walls.

To my current partner, thank you for being honest. Atleast you told me the one thing your heart was keeping for so long, "Napakadali mo lang palitan. Kayang kaya kita palitan kahit kelan ko gusto." Hopefully you'll find someone who's hard to discard and change to anytime.

You are not a dog, Rove.

They say, you should love unconditionally. And you should love at your inconvenience.

When you love at your convenience, the other person will get tired eventually. Just following you around like a robot.

Rove, get a life! Enough following her around. Learn to say "no" to her. She's like in control of your life - letting her do all the things she wanted to do leaving you with no choice but to agree.

—-

Ano ba laban ko? I'm checkmate. I wanted to go to Cabanatuan to celebrate birthday with a grandmother. And of course, I love traveling. She cancelled it leaving you no choice since it's not your grandmother in the first place. Telling you to have it next weekend instead. But you might have another plan next weekend. Then she told you, "eh di wag ka sumama." Then what's choice left to me? Me wanting to try to spend some time with a grandmother and having plan for next weekend. "If you wanna come and see her grandmother, you have to cancel your other plans." Whichever I choose, I'm at lost. I'll never win. It should always at her convenience.

Rove, find alternatives. Learn to say "no" to her and learn to say "yes" to others.

Hang out with others. You'll get pass through this.

——

God, just in case MBA is not for me here in PH, help me land a job in Japan, Canada, Australia, or Europe. From there, I will learn to be tough enough not to depend to anyone. And smart enough not to look pathetic. I don’t want to look like "a pity person" - a person begging for someone's time and love. I look pathetic, I really do. 😆 She already told you, it’s easy for her to change you. And she can change you anytime she wants. Now, I get it. Begging to someone who only see me as a "change of diaper".  So that’s my worth to her, I get it. She might don’t really need me too, since she can change me anytime she likes.

——-

Now God. Please help me. I'm begging you. I really need to be a millionaire or better, a billionaire. I really need to become one! So that all the women who only think of me as a low creature, trying to fit in, and begging for their time, will be dying to be with me or even get a glimpse of my attention.

I swear. I will be rich! Fucking rich that I can buy all the beautiful men and women in the world and tell them to kill each other if they want to see me. All the fucking creatures who see me as "diaper" or trash will someday bow down on their knees and seek forgiveness.

So help me, God. Thank you God and I love you.

You need rest

Waited 3hr+...
No response for 2hr+...
Worried for 2hr+...

Now, told to wait for more...

Good thing I drank one Smirnoff from Dad's.
I don't have to think anymore. I'm tired of waiting - and being told to wait for more.

G'nyt!