Disappear

Im so sad. Another time of the year.

I want some hugs. But where to get it?

Im trying not to shed a tear. But I couldnt. It felt like it's something I need to let out.

Initiated lots of conversations already online. But nobody seems like wanted to talk to me. Haha. Poor Rove.

Beer. The only thing that stays with me. Since I dont take other stuff, i'll just drown myself to it. 

I want to disappear. Everyday I always tell myself that everything is okay. It's okay. You dont have to think much of it. Wear a smile, even a poker one. Don't let people see your weaknesses. Nobody deserve to see you crying. Only the purest person can see it. One who will not judge you. One who will stay by your side until your last breathe. Haha. Well, only God and Jesus deserve to be that person.

When you will get me from here? The more days I spend here on earth, the more vulnerable I am to evil things.

Im lonely. I really wanted to disappear. 

My prayer

There's something wrong with my paat prayer..

"God, please give me a partner that I will marry in the future."

I should have prayed,

"God, please give me a partner that I will marry in the future. Partner who will stay with me through thick or thin. Despite the ups and downs, the fights and peace. A partner that will be loyal and faithful to me."

Now, this should be my prayer moving on.

Cry a river until nothing's left

It hurts.. Really hurts.. Just cry Rove..

Cry a river until there's no tears left. 

Pour all the emotions until there's nothing left.

Then one day, you'll stand again. Brave enough to say to yourself that "Whew~ I did it."

I know you still feel lost. It's okay. That's okay. He's there to hear your prayers.

Cry more Rove. Dont pretend. Here's your chance. Pour everything. Then a new happy day will rise upon your face. 

Time to go

The battery is up.
War has ended.
The main character needs to rest.

Time to move on.
You can do it Rove.
Soshi are there to help you.
Just like the old times.

Don't give up with life though.

I love you Rove.
Thank you God.

^_^