big coward i am

You know what. I was thinkin' how to make mySmile like me too.
I don't know really how to court. I'm so torpe.
Yeah I like mySmile so much that I even love her.
However, I'm a big coward. I don't have the courage to ask mySmile out--or even talk to her.
Esp. now that she keeps on avoiding me.

I guess I'm really meant to be single forever. Wata life.. Tsktsk. XD

 

Leikeze Van Helsing
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

leave all the bad mem'ries behind en treasure da good ones

I gotta be honest wit you buddy.

Yeah. I sometimes remember the memories we had. You know who I'm referring to.
Don't know. But from Ching's birthday, it got to be once a day her memory will pop up in my head.

Yeah, you know and I know truly that I've done my best.
From the day she left, I've done my very best to get her back.
Not until the time I gave myself an end clue. And that's it.
However, it didn't stop there. I frequently anonymously texted or messaged her in any kinds of communication.
Just to know that she's fine.

However, as we all know, every little thing needs to give up sometimes and move on instead. And that's what I did.
I don't have any regrets now regarding to her. I know to myself that I loved her more than anyone else (next to Him) even myself.
I think the only mistake I've done is I forgot to love myself. 'Cause you know, I gave everything to her.
I gave her my love, my time, my attention, and almost all the things she wanted.

And now, it's really up to her if all the things I've given were not enough. I just hope that someday she'll realize my worth--but in a positive way. I mean is when that time comes she'll just smile while realizing it. :)

Now, I have given myself a chance again to be happy. I don't want to have another trauma in life though this experience was very traumatic in my part. But I asked God for courage to be able to love again. He said I should know first how to love myself. Then He has given me love and continually giving it so that I could love. As a result, I'm liking mySmile now. And I think I'm loving mySmile too. Someday, I'm goin' to tell mySmile about my feelings. With the suggestions of the few people I consulted, I'm goin' to wait while doin' some few moves.

As the year 2011 will enter, I'm goin' to start my year wit long prayers. It got to be long 'cause I'll pray for each and everyone of my fellas around in my life. And of course, thank Him for the wonderful and thrilled year 2010 He has given me. I've experienced and learned a lot.

And as I leave the year 2010, I'm also goin' to leave all the bad memories but treasure the good ones. I'm goin' to start again wit another year of full of fun and adventures.

 

Grandia Vrualg
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

sometimes things happen unexpectedly--without plan

Yo!
--
As usual, woke up at around 11:30am. Haha.
Michael and I should be goin' to some department store (SM Cubao) to buy the stuffs he needed. XD
However, not all things happen as you wanted them to be. Haha.
--
Then, I and Rhea just went wit Ivan, Anne, and Aaron at Riverbanks. 
Rhea and I went to other way. The other three have their own date. Haha.
I skated at the other side of the river. Haha. Practiced wit ma heavy board. -_- You know what I mean--the deck length.
Had some fun of course. Ate a lot of fishballs and green mangoes--the street foods. Haha.
--
Goin' back to the parking lot after some cold drinkin' at the 7Eleven.
Had some pictures taken wit the three. Haha.

+++
After, Mae replied me. Then I, together wit Rhea, went to Vista gate and had some lil' drink wit Mae. 
It's an unplanned bonding. Just a message I sent in dat evenin'. Haha.
We talked anythin' under da sun. Haha. Just da usual bonding by da two of us. XD
--
We ended at 10pm. Haha.
+++
At home, danced all the dance songs of Step Up movies. Just drainin' da remainin' energy in me. XD
After few days, I finally saw an update to mySmile's wall. Though it's 'bout kpop. -_- tsktsk. Haha! XD

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

lost track of time 'cause of excitement

yeah. it's time for an entry. -_-
i lost track wit the time. haha. just like what i used wit date. XD

lost track of time 'cause i'm busy lookin' for possible jobs in singapore. haha.
and now i know, i gotta learn da other programming languages i ignored at school. XD
ASP.NET, VB.NET, and C++. haha.

done too wit the first draft of my resume.
i had a hard time creatin' my resume 'cause i didn't know what job i would like. XD
but now, i guess i would like either web programming or project management.

i know God knows my future.
en i'll do my best in the remaining days of my vacation to learn the other languages i needed to learn. tsktsk. XD

don't know but i'm kinda excited goin' out to the real world for da real adventures of my life,
though i'm not sure wit my future jobs. haha. XD

still, just like wat i always do,
treat each day as if it is my last day.
so do my best! for Him! haha.

--

mornin': i surprised my mom.
the real plan was i'm da only one she's expecting to meet her in the mall
and get the money. then she'll went home afterward.
however, i brought wit me Rhea, Michael, Anne, and especially Aaron.
i drove our crosswind 'cause the other car was wit her.

the plan was revised unexpectedly.
we told Tito Art to go home and drive home the car she and mom brought.

then at the mall, we shopped at the department store. haha.
i'm goin' really broke this Christmas.. -_-"
i bought a pair of pants as a gift to my mom, she said. -_- XD
and also i finally bought my own pair of pants. first pants i bought with my own box. XD
Rhea and Anne shopped too.

we had a lot of fun.
i love my family.
and i don't wanna have one more. (you know what i mean) XD
already contented with my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephew. haha.
i love Lisha, Liyah, Rhian, and Aaron. they're our prince and princesses.

don't know but i'm kinda lovable to my nieces and nephew. i love them so muuuch!
as if they're my children. XD

a start of my bein' bachelorette. lovin' it! haha.

-- lovin' da playlist in 94.7 now. uh. haha. --

 

Grandia Vrualg
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

hate ugly pips.

Wat's up today?

Woke up at 12:10pm.
Watched Step 2 again.
Had some swimming at Clubhouse 'round 3pm to 4:30pm wit Michael. XD
Did some skate at the street.
Ate a lot + ice cream for da night. Haha.

--

I hate ugly people. -_-"

I'm no referring to physical appearance alone. You already know it.

SSB: Single Since Birth <- dat's me!

 

Yrekcah Van Helsing
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

2011, waitin' badly for you.

Attended church once again wit Michael en Rhea. I didn't tell Diann 'bout it.

After, we went to Sta. Lucia.

Ate a little at McDo. Waited for mom while lookin' 'round Department Store.

Then when mom arrived, I en Michael went to McDo once again to eat some rice. Mom gave me some penny. XD

Shop for some clothes for me, mom, and Michael; and footwear for dad and Rhea.

Went home happy though exhausted.

--

Hate ugly pips. You already know who I am talkin' 'bout. -_-

Yes, I'm ugly too. That's why I don't wanna look for another ugly. Tsktsk. XD

2010, leave me alone. Soon, 2011 will enter into my life. 

A fresh start for me en ma fellas who stayed wit me thru thick en thin.

All damn moron pips who think they're at their best will die out in my memories.

Sorry, but you got no place in my resorvior. (don't know either if i have one. XD)

--

I wanna love again. However, I couldn't seem to find the right person for me. Haha!

Yrekcah Van Helsing

Grand M0nde

Earth, Solar System

smiles, laughs, and happiness are around. luv it! haha.

Yeah.

The person I hated most is my mom. But she's also the person I loved most. XD

I was not born to please any earthlings...

If people doesn't like me, I don't care.
I still do like them to be my friend though they treat me as their foes. Haha.

Christmas is still da best! I love da party.
Though there were heats between me and any family member, it's okay. Everythin' will be fine if I just keep my coolness. XD

I love my family, esp. my parents. I love Aaron too. XD
I love my nieces en nephew. They are my treasures.

Dad told me 'bout bein' a bachelorette after I graduated. He told me to spend most of my salary to myself only.
But I told him I wanted to involve myself in charity. He agreed on it.
By the way, dad and I had the chance to talk because I went with him at the gate to buy some ice. XD
I think dad has already felt 'bout my bein' 'singleness'. Haha. Don't know but there are a lot of things I wanna do in my life.
And I can't seem to find the right person for me. XD
At the mean time, I wanna enjoy my life bein' single. Haha! XD

This night is so FUN!

I played badminton and skateboarding wit Michael. Haha!

Gifts are everywhere-though I didn't receive a lot.
Knowing that people around me are happy and got a lot gifts makes me smile and happy too. XD

Grandia Vrualg
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

ROFL day! XD

I couldn't help myself from laughin'. HAHAHA! really. XD
That event really made me laugh so hard. =)) XD
It's been already 5mos, so why your friends are still actin' that way... weird pips.. tsktsk. XD


Nyway, talkin' to Mae made my blood 'bout mySmile bursts again. Hahaha! Though I still don't know my next step at class start. XD
-----
By the way, I bought one shirt from Tribal, one cap from Human, and one hair spray paint. Haha. I was wit Michael. We went to Sta. Lucia and Robinsons. He bought his hair spray paint, hair wax, and headset for cosplay. Haha.


Then, I got no money anymore.. -_-" How will I buy my laptop this January.. I need school days for me to save some penny. Tsktsk.


And how will I join them at Puerto Galera this Jan 26. T_T I still need to get my mom's permission. Uhuhuhu. XD
-----
Tomorrow is the party. And I still don't have any number to show. Hahaha! Wish me luck! XD

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

pictures for f-u-n

They say, pictures say a thousand words.
So today, these are wat happened. haha.

Mah workplace.. haha.!

Pips around da corner.. haha. 

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

:"> advent i am?

[Dec. 18, 2010]

Dis is it! The 2nd time I'll try.. Haha.

Lei, Rosros, and I arrived at school few minutes before 10am after eatin' our breakfast at Jobi.
Lei and Ros headed to 11th floor for da ball and reservation of gym. And I headed to 5th floor. You already know why.. Haha.

I texted some friends to ask mySmile 'bout goin' to school. Luckily, Kim was replyin' to my texts and mySmile was also replyin' to her. Haha.

The roses by da way was wit Lei's hands for a while. Haha. XD

At the 5th floor.. I've seen a lot of people and talked wit some friends who visited CPO. XD

I've seen Dadi Conchi and had some fun talks wit him.

After knowin' dat mySmile was not yet around, I went to gym to play wit dem basketball. Haha.

Den after some minutes, I went down again. I think I did it number of times. Haha.

At 5th, I've seen Carlo. Talked to him and chatted wit him too. During my talks wit him.
He was about to call mySmile's phone 'cause I asked him a while ago to ask mySmile's current location.
So  wen he's goin' to hand me his phone callin' mySmile's number, mySmile arrived at 5th. Hahaha!

I putted out da phone, of course! I kept sayin' to Carlo dat somebody's askin' for mySmile and it's not me, which is quite true--mySmile's co-dancer. XD
mySmile was far away from us (I;m wit Carlo). From afar, Carlo kept on shouting to mySmile, '*** boyfriend mo hinahanap ka.' While he was sayin' dis, he's pointing at me. -_-" Damn Carlo. Tsktsk. XD

I've seen mySmile's back. mySmile didn't look eversince to me. Just da back.. XD

I called Lei using Carlo's phone. I told her dat mySmile was already at school. I went straight to 11th. I asked dem 'bout who's gonna give da flowers. XD
First plan was Jam. However, Drei was asked eventually. I told dem dat mySmile headed somewhere upstairs. Didn't know where..

When dey have discovered dat mySmile was at da 12th floor, they gave da flowers to KC, who was playin' at da court, to give it to mySmile. 'Cause they're goin' to meet afterwards. XD

And while all these things are happenin', I hide myself downstairs at caf. I chatted Carlo and told him the things I told Kim. XD
He was shocked of course. He said in da end, "Baket si ***?" I ask him, "Baket? Sino ba gusto mo?" He said, "Wala naman.Pero bakit siya? Andami naman dyan na mas maganda." I laughed, "Adik! Don't know! 'Cause of personality and talent? Haha."

Den afterwards, Lei texted me to go up. After meetin' dem, we went downstairs to 10th--just one level. XD
I greeted Cui by da way after I saw dem at court. Haha.

At da shower room, Drei or Sharry asked me "Baket siya?" I laughed, "Ba't gulat na gulat kayo? What's wrong wit my choice? I don't understand" Lei said, "Shocked lang sila dahil sa dami daming beautiful people around, ba't siya pa nagustuhan mo." I just said dat I really don't know. I think it's really because of personality and talents. Ros ros added somethin' dat for me has a little bearing, I think. She said, "Nabighani siya sa ngiti ni ***." Hahaha! Don't know what's up wit dat. All people are smiling to me. But very seldom dat someone will caught me wit their smile. Haha.

I guess, in my entire stay at APC, da only one who really made me to have a crush on dat person after just a smile is Juju. XD

I started likin' mySmile because of personality. You know.. XD

Den, after some talks at shower room, we decided to eat at Reyes Barbeque. Ms Cris and Ms Bea were wit us by da way. XD

Da five of us met at da lobby. But before dat, Lei, Rosros, and I headed to caf and meet Carlo. We greeted and chatted. Lei en Rosros went out to Lobby and I was left wit Carlo.

Wen I was 'bout to go out da caf, I saw mySmile's back grabbin' backwards KC. I turned back to Carlo instantly. XD

Wen I went out, Lei told me dat dey went to other other after mySmile saw me at da caf. She greeted mySmile wit very nice smile and a hello she said. XD Lei said to dat dey saw mySmile holdin' da flowers I handed. Haha. XD

At the lobby, we saw Dianne en Belle entered at da other entrance. We said 'hi' to Dianne. She's da only one I saw at first. XD Wen I saw Belle eventually and saw Lei's face, I hugged Lei to comfort her. They're checkin' up da lobby guard wen Ms Bea and Ms Cris arrived and we all went out.

After the lunch and some talks, we went back to school.

We watched at one ABMA's class defense. It's an GameAuth class. XD They amzed me wit their games. Haha. My dream of making RPG Games came back to my sense.. Ms Cris is an expert wit GameAuth Lei said. So Ms Cris told me to tweak first the Unreal Engine 'bout da player's view. If I'm successful wit it, she may teach me how to create games. Haha.

Later, we were invited to joined dem at Tagaytay.

Miel, Lei, Rosros, and I wit alumni pips...

Grandia Vrualg
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

an instant idea

Friday..

Frequently checkin' mySmile's FB for past few days.. XD

Accidentally read somethin' in mySmile' wall about goin' at school da next day. Den an idea popped into my mind. Haha.

I texted Lei right away to accompany me in buyin' flowers for da 2nd time. I was hopin' dat dis time, it'll be successful. XD

Lei and I went to UST. We had adventures, circled around UST just to find Dangwa. Tsktsk. We took da long cuts. We both don't know 'bout da place, that's why.   But it's ok, we're explorers! Haha.

We toured around Dangwa and successfully bought 3 white roses.

I asked my mom before goin' out dat I'm goin' to have an overnight to Rosros' homie. After da Dangwa, we headed to Rosros' homie after eatin' our dinner at Mang Inasal. Haha. I think we arrived at Rosros' homie at 'round 11pm. XD

We stayed awake until 2am.

Grandia Vrualg
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

business matter

What happened today..

Mom brought me wit her at PICC. Business matters of course. -_-" XD

Passed an International Drivers' Club. Mom said, "Kuha ka rin dyan ng international driver's license mo oh." Tito Art agreed.
Don't know if they are in a hurry to deport me in SG or wat.. XD

Waited for hours at PICC...

Ate foods. I'm always full wen I'm wit my mom. Haha.

Visited Yanyan at the hospital twice.

 

Grandia Vrualg
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

don't tell me who i should be...

wat's up?

this f*** world doesn't understand someone like me! uh?

yeah. wat'u expect? people are all the same.

there's no one you can trust to. so wat? leave 'em!

i don't know. i don't want to repeat it again. yeah. history repeats itself.

i rebelled wen i was in 4th year HS. then now? goin' to rebel again?
i'm already at the critical stage of my college and of my life.
after this, there's no turnin' back.

just forget this s*** earthlings that keeps on draggin' me down.
they're never be there forever anyway. then wat? leave 'em!

leave all these ditch people. just keep on movin'.
pretend. that's where i'm best at.

-SP's Jump-

Jump! (Jump!)
Don't wanna think about tomorrow (Jump!)
I just don't care tonight
I just wanna jump (Jump!)
Don't wanna think about my sorrow
Let's go
Forget your problems
I just wanna jump

Grandia Yrekcah en Leikeze Van Helsing
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

very 1st flower i bought...

 You should check dis out! APC-DC vid 
en another one! Crissa Synergy Season 6 Finals mySmile is always at da front center in da beginning. =D

When mySmile dances. Oh men! Every time mySmile dances, Im always been blown away. Whew~ Haha! XD

What happened today?

Carlo texted en call me to go to SMPHI-IT to grab some foodie the IT staff made for us interns. Haha. Love the lil' cake but I gave mine to Chie. Haha.

Went to school wit Carlo en Ang. However, di na naabutan sumayaw ang DC, specifically mySmile. -_-" Haha! XD
Waitin' for Lei en Ros to arrived wit the white rose I asked dem to buy. I was plannin' to give it to mySmile anonymously. Unfortunately, when they arrived, mySmile has already went off. T_T Hahaha! XD

What happened in da auditorium? uh?

When we have just entered the audi and still standing in the left hallway, mySmile ran toward us. Yeah, not to me but to Carlo en Ang. -_- I was at their back, ok? So it does consider "us". -_- Hahaha! XD
What you expect? mySmile just talked to dem. *sigh* Torpe talaga kahit kelan!!!! Argh!!! 

What's da 2nd incidence? uh?

I went outside just to pee and supposedly waited for Lei en Ros. -_- My cp was lowbat by da way. XD From the inside (front audi's entrance), I was talkin' to Roselle (Ros' friend) who was standing outside da main audi's entrance. Just imagine it dude! -_- Hahaha! She was askin' me 'bout Ros en Dianne. I told her of course. I met Dianne by da way at da caf before Carlo, Ang, and I went up. =D

Then exactly after I finished talkin', I saw mySmile together wit her co-dancer/s goin' outside. I was at the front door that's why I can see it. 0_o XD I just saw dem wen dey're already near, right after da light strike dem. Hahaha! XD Dat's da time I turned my back to Roselle and fast walked to da glass window to watched the basketball game. Just pretending I'm watchin' of course. Haha. I knew dat they're waitin' at da elevator's door dat's why I kept on pretendin'. -_-" Hahaha! XD

Pricky fellow me! -_- I didn't follow dem right away, instead, waited for 5 to 10 more minutes to go down. -_- Den poof! They're gone. T_T XD 

I was waitin' at da caf en frequently lookin' out for the shuttle. But I failed to see mySmile.. *sigh* Ima failure, I know! -_- XD After some time, I found Lei en Ros at da lobby who have just arrived. 

THE END. Ima failure. PERIOD. -_-" Hahaha!

Lei told me dat wit mySmile's personality, it'll took me a year to get mySmile's heart en mind. But I told her dat it's ok. =D *sigh* Hahaha! XD


P.S. I just gave to my mom da white roses as somethin' to enlighten her for worrying 'bout me. XD

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

mySadDestiny.. XD

Yeah. Busted again..  As expected..  

How'd I know? mySmile's reply to my gudmornin GM is 'Oi rove.. Wag mo naq isama s gm mo.. :-) thank u'

That's the exact message.. Uh? 

What's new anyway?

Since birth, people that I had liked and confessed to turned me down or rejected me. Of course except to my ex (very 1st relationship) who instantly dumped me after 6mos.  Wata life..  

Am I ugly? Guess I am.  XD

I guess this is my karma. For all the guys and few gals I turned down in the past. Hahaha! What can I do if romantic relationship wasn't in my vocabulary that time? -_- XD


Yaw ko na ng babae. Manglalalaki nalang ako. -_-" Hahaha! Joke! They're all the same, anyhow. Tsktsk. XD

Anyway, I've already accepted my fate. Single 4ever!~ 

Or I'll just believe that my luck is not here in my home land. That the person I'm lookin' for is somewhere in other country. And all I need is to travel.  Wata wildest dream of mine. XD

I've deleted all my accounts from all social networking sites I know, except for FS 'cause I've not backed up yet the pics. XD

I deactivated temporarily my FB. 

I did it all in purpose. I want people I know to forget about me. I think I'll reactivate my FB again when I'm in SG already. 

I want to have a new identity when I'm already living in other country. And I hope it'll all happen after my graduation. Haha!

Leikeze Van Helsing

Grand M0nde

Earth, Solar System

foreign ways.. uh?

What happened today..?

I woke up at 11:30am. Wala nang maaabutan pag nag TFI Gateway pa ko. That's why I decided to go with Lei, Ros, and Tryx at Victory Da Fort. It's the first time I attended at their service. You know, only every Worship Night I go there. Haha. It's so nice. They had a guest speaker from Netherlands and he's good.

After service, we went to Serendra until Highstreet. We looked if the exhibit was still there. Unfortunately, no exhibit has found. XD
Tryx was already hungry that's why we decided to eat. However, Market2x was so full with pips that's why we just ate at McDo in SM Makati. XD
Chit chat and bonding..

I arrived home at 10pm. Nice! Early for now.. Though it looked like 5pm for me. XD

For almost the whole day, I was thinkin' if what am I goin' to do about mySmile. I don't know if I'm still goin' to pursue my moves/plans about giving white rose as gudluck before their dance at PAG concert and giving shirt as Christmas gift too. So hard... Take the risk and try..?

 

Grandia Van Helsing
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System