If so, I think I've done 12% of effort to show to チャ how much she mean to me and how worthy I am for her. The rest, I’ll just leave it to God. Surely, God is already telling me to “rest, you’ve already done enough”.
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Four years ago, I only had my own world and a world with others. Then in the last four years, I developed a world with my special someone and a world with others. After four years, I got to build again my own world - without a partner/bestfriend. I can't say that's easy but I know I can do it with His help. And I know, it will take time.
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Earlier, I told チャ that I will help her get enrolled. Actually, I already told her long ago that I'll support her achieve her goals/dreams up to my very best. It is my promise.
I always believe to the saying, "Every little thing in our life has its own reason or purpose."
I prayed to Him. I think it's not an accident You let our path crossed again. There's got to be a reason. If my purpose is to help her, please provide me all the resources I need in order to help her. Then I messaged two of my close friends who I thought can help me. I asked them if I can borrow some bucks and I will pay them on my next salary which is next month. Without ado, one lent me 15k and the other one will send the 10k tomorrow. I now have the 25k needed for the enrollment. I have extra 5k so maybe I will just borrow 5k from the latter.
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Now, I wanna start again Give More and Expect Less. And I'll start with the closest ones - my family then colleagues. Having a grateful heart makes me feel good.
I cannot deny that I get lonely or sad sometimes because I used to have a partner and a bestfriend in-one whom I can talk to whenever I need company. Now, I don't have any of them. To get over with the loneliness or sadness, I push myself to go to the gym though my laziness always strikes me. Sweat and tired body produce happy hormones and let me have a good night sleep. And when not in a gym, I will just read a good book and let my mind doze off.
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