Holiday Thoughts

6:35PM Update
It makes me smile and proud knowing that チャ can create detailed itineraries again. She used to do it during, maybe, our first two years together. She created beach itineraries like Bolinao. Today, she showed me her Baguio itineraries and I could say, I’m impressed. They are so detailed and it shocked me that there are still a lot of places to visit there despite having gone there multiple times with her and I thought there’s nothing to do nor visit anymore. Maybe I’ll ask her to do our CDO and Taiwan itineraries. 😁 I’m sure it’s gonna be fantastic! And I also want to feel a kind of surprise too. 😄 Creating itineraries will already give someone an idea what the place or the activity looks like. 😜

God, please protect my queen as she travels back home. Please keep her safe and sound. Cover her with your Holy Spirit. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity you have given her. I pray all these things, in the mighty name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, amen!

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I had deductions where チャ went. I don't mean of being a stalker or what. I don't mind where she'll go as long as she'll be safe. But my mind is unstoppable when you have given it clues - city, 6-7hrs travel. The only city I can think of with this travel hours is Baguio. Then Rhea told me awhile ago that チャ is in Baguio because she has seen her stories. Well, I don't have FB nor IG. 😂 So Rhea spilled the beans. 😆

Removing my social media apps is another way for me to cope with my sadness. Well, aside from hitting the gym and burying myself in books.

チャ needs alone time, to reflect about her life. Going to Baguio alone is one way for her to try things by herself. And she's making me prouder as ever. ☺️ I believe in her.

I also had this moment, where I just want to be alone to reflect on my feelings and my life. I went to a mountainous place with no signal and stayed for the night. After long hours of prayers and discussions in my head with God, I came to the realization that チャ is the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with. I would like to protect and take care of her as her partner and husband. Fast forward, I gave her a promise ring last year, at her birthday. I would like to marry her someday. I told her I can wait till she gets ready to love again. It can be 4 or 5 years, it doesn’t matter. I’ve already waited for her for 5 years, what is another 5 years? 😁 Till then, I’ll always be a loving and supporting bestfriend to her. ☺️ Her happiness is also my happiness.

On the other side, I’ve got to tone down. If I am not needed or my opinion is not needed, I should just keep quiet. I don’t want to scare チャ away that it looks like I’m desperate. I’m not desperate at all. I love her that’s why her freedom and happiness come first. Her wellness is my desire. When I love a person, I am willing to let them go. I cannot force someone to love or like me back. If ever チャ has found new love, hopefully, she’ll tell me the soonest. So that I will stop myself abruptly from liking and loving her. I’m the kind of person that retreats right after knowing the person I like/love is liking/loving someone else. I don’t go to a battle where I know I’m gonna lose. I believe God will never leave my side. I believe He is preparing the woman I’ll be with till death do us part. This is why I don’t lose faith in His love.