It's really tough. Pandemic. Everyone is fighting a battle. チャ broke up with me but I'm not giving her up. But if letting her go will make her well again and be healed from mental illness, I will gladly give it to her. ロブ inside will just have to die.
The days are passing so slowly. I wanna go fast forward to the day that my heart and soul have already healed. I don't wanna experience any of these anymore. Can I just kill myself and be gone?
Why can't your furbabies be your inspiration to go forward in life? Yes, I should. Even though they are going somewhere most of the day, seeing them meow at me waiting to be fed should mean a lot. It means that someone still wants me around. Also, good think Frappe is sleeping with me. His biting and nipping keep me awake in this life. He helps me when I practice mindfulness.
Workout and meditation are still not enough. If I want to get well, I would be needing another help - my meds. Back then, I don't actually need my meds because I got a support like チャ. We supported each other. But now I'm left alone, I need a superficial's help.
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Sana positive nalang ako sa virus and die instantly without experiencing any hardships anymore. Pero mahal magpa-swab test. Hahaha! At pag-positive man ako, kawawa family ko. 😕 Malamang nahawaan ko na sila.
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