Bread’s Thoughts

10:14AM

Haha! Nahihiya na ko sa ginagawa ko. Mukha na kong stalker, minus the following around and knowing the whereabouts, sa ginagawa ko. LOL.

I sent messages. Seen-zone.
I sent help. Seen-zone.
Pati sila Tigs, seen-zone narin. :( Nahihiya na ko para sa mga furbabies namin. Hindi sila pinapansin ng nanay nila. :( Dahil siguro may new furbabies na sya? :( Ako nalulungkot para kila Tigs.

"What would Jesus do?"
If it's Jesus, he would just continually provide help. And continue to reach out. Self-less service.

Ang hirap maging Jesus. Haha! Lord, kinun nyo nalang po ako. Ba't ang hirap ng tasks/mission nyo sakin? Hindi po ako magaling sa pakikipag kapwa. Alam nyo naman na mas gugustuhin ko nalang manahimik sa isang tabi kesa maghabol ng tao ng ayaw naman sakin. -_-"

Ba't pa kelangan maging human being~!!! Mas gugustuhin ko nalang maging kuto. Para isang tiris lang, tapos na. I served my purpose. LOL.

Ano bang profession that doesn't required mingling with other human beings?
Madre? No. Have to go to church and talk to people.
Writer? No. Have to attend to book signing. But then, most of the time, they just stay inside their office/room writing. Nice idea.
Monk? Probably. I will be secluding my self from the society and live in the mountains, praying and reflecting 24hrs a day. This is a great idea!

Can I do this yolo thing? Run away to Thailand or Cambodia and live as a monk? I better give myself deadline. When all else fails, I'll do this.

Today is July. How about 3 months? I will evaluate my life on the first week of Oct. Then if nothing good comes out, I will leave on my birthday. YOLO. No itineraries, no advance booking, nothing at all. I will just let my feet take me anywhere.

Timeline:
July to Sep. Do my best to be of a service. Help my family (this includes Cha) and relatives. Cleaning up my things.
Oct 1-9. Life evaluation.
Oct 10-15. Decision has to be made. Preparation, secure the life of the people I will leave behind.
Oct 17. Set off. Fly away.

God, please help me this time.

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12:03AM

Me and my team watched Lion King earlier. And that was the only time I finally understood the story of Lion King. When I was a kid, I first watched the cartoon version probably I was 5 yrs old. I think I was amazed with the colors and stuff but never understand the story and life's lesson. It's a nice movie and not recommended for kids. Haha! Pre-requisite: must have watched the cartoon version. 😁

I sent food to チャ earlier. She needs it. A simple treat/reward for a job well done this week. 😊 She really worked hard and she deserves it. 

Also transferred allowance to her. Why? I'm not sure. Something's telling me that I should help her.

I was thinking...when I changed for the better (accepted by the Christianity), can God pick me up out of here? It's not that I wanted to die early. It's just that people are prone to temptations and evil things work by the enemies if they are doing good in this world. I don't wanna go back to being "evil" or a sinner. I am a sinner yes. But I am trying so hard to control my thoughts and not move on impulse. Without controlling it, I'll be prone to committing a sin which I will regret later on.

One question I thought today that may help me decide before I act on something, "what would Jesus do?"

Some other says, when you are done with your purpose, big chance, you will ascend to heaven earlier. But I still have no clue what's mine. I read in All Purpose Driven Life that Life is a Temporary Assignment. The most common "good deed" is to help others. And this is what I have started doing and I will do it till I don't have anything left. (Anyway, we don't really own anything in this world.) I have to help my family (this includes チャ as she's already part of the family since she was 3 yrs old). 

It is funny how life can be. Have you ever thought that after 17 yrs, チャ and I will meet again? Nobody thought of that - even I. I had childhood friends (one in a year or two) but I never thought I'm going to see them again. I was already assuming that they are living happily across the globe.

So this means, no one can manipulate destiny. I'm no longer afraid of losing someone. It's a natural phenomenon and it's been happening to all of us in some point of our lives. Life is just becoming interesting with our choices.

The circle of life. We are all connected.

For the recent movies or series I watched, they all mentioned about how we are all connected. If I am going to think about it deeply, we are all brothers and sisters.

Then I snapped on a thought, "If I'm not a working professional, I might be a full-pledge pastor or preacher." ☺️ This was my ultimate dream role.

(I fell asleep while writing this.😅)

To be continued...