Morning thoughts

I dreamt of チャ again just before I woke up.

I found her in her house, sort of apartment or condo, sitting in the floor. I thought she's going to shoo me away. I hugged her right away. She was saying, "Di na ko papdalhan ni mamy ng allowance at food." She's enrolled to a school and waiting for the classes to start. And at the same time, working. I told her, "Don't worry, andito naman ako. Diba sabi ko sayo dati? Ako bahala sayo. Di kita papabayan. Basta concentrate ka lang sa school, ako na bahala sa needs mo." Then we were hugging until I woke up.

My subconscious mind probably really missed her. Miss the days where she can count on me when she needed someone. This is probably long gone now.

——

Be strong Rove. Continue doing what you have started. You started working out and meditating again. Do it everyday. And in no time, you will overcome your depression and anxiety. Don't think about suicide anymore, it will do no good to you and to your loved ones.

Remember, you have new project coming this Aug. And this probably a big one since you started being a PM (0.5 FTE). You are a full pledge PM. And you know how people get attracted to a PM in IT industry. 😉 (I never thought of that! 😂) You know what I mean. You know someone. 😁 And they now have a baby. (Hahahaha!) Just get those perfect CSATs every time! (Of course!) Anyway, even there's no AF, you can still work out at home. Build that muscles! (Thank you チャ for the protein powder and dumbells.) Yes, thanks to your sponsor. 😁 And the meditation at night, you don't need the relaxing tablet to get asleep, your meditation will do the work. 😆 When you're finally "well" despite these dark weather, you'll attract good things and probably, the next future Mrs. ☺️ So help us God.