Modified 2:20PM
I don't wanna lose myself while serving the people I love. This is why I also love to have downtime. I'd love to have Me Time more often now.
Single or not, seeing someone or not, I don't wanna delay or cancel my plans in life. I wanna focus on achieving them. I don't wanna think critically about the people around me anymore. Don't wanna give a f***.
I gave チャ two handwritten letters. Every word was thought carefully. Every sentence was coming from my heart and mind. After writing the second letter, I had a peace of mind where I let go of everything - even my romantic love to her. I had a sense of feeling that I no longer desire for her appreciation or for her romantic love. That I'd rather stay single than to chase her. It may be because it was really a turn off to like someone who is flirting with everyone. Then after she has read the second letter, her treatment to me has changed. She suddenly became sweeter to me. She became touchy and started calling me "Ney" more often. She started reminiscing moments we've been together. But haven't told me the "ILY" sentence yet. I'm not sure who am I to her or what are we. She didn't tell anything. So technically, we're still both single. If nililigawan nya ko, then she should inform me. I am not easy to get. Yes, I love her, but as a family. I will still support and assist her throughout her endeavors in life. My only desire are her wellness and see her achieve her dreams in life. Romantically, I'm not ready to like/love her again if there's any. Maybe I was hurt badly or I really experienced a major turn off. Whatever it is, all I know is I need more time. I'm no longer the old Rove who fall easily for sweet treatment even after being hurt badly by the person I loved.
I'm at the point of my life where I don't know who to trust anymore, so I'd rather trust and rely on myself only.
Just like what I told チャ before, kung kami talaga, kami talaga. We should not push ourselves to like or love each other anymore.
It happened multiple times in the past:
- When I was at the lowest point of my life, she left me. She went back when I started feeling good or something good was happening in my life.
- She keeps coming back to Jake every time their LQ has passed. I don't wanna tell or ask anything more about them. It's now none of my business and I don't care anymore. I already lost interest to her romantically.
- She flirts with the people who like her. No, I'm no longer part of their games. I've already signed off from her suitors list.
I think, I have to continue observing チャ. Let's see when she matures in terms of love and relationships. Yes, she is very mature in life, but not in relationships. Maybe this is why my close friends said, she’s still young (age 23). She might be at the age of experimenting whom she really want to spend her life with. Now, I will just be here as her sponsor and supporter of her dreams. Only time will say if we'll end up together in the future. For now, I will just enjoy each other's company as best buddies. 😊
So help me God.
——
Quick observation:
チャ's language of love are affirmation and service. Mine are service and quality time. This means, she might be really testing the waters as of the moment.
I don't wanna lose myself while serving the people I love. This is why I also love to have downtime. I'd love to have Me Time more often now.
Single or not, seeing someone or not, I don't wanna delay or cancel my plans in life. I wanna focus on achieving them. I don't wanna think critically about the people around me anymore. Don't wanna give a f***.
I gave チャ two handwritten letters. Every word was thought carefully. Every sentence was coming from my heart and mind. After writing the second letter, I had a peace of mind where I let go of everything - even my romantic love to her. I had a sense of feeling that I no longer desire for her appreciation or for her romantic love. That I'd rather stay single than to chase her. It may be because it was really a turn off to like someone who is flirting with everyone. Then after she has read the second letter, her treatment to me has changed. She suddenly became sweeter to me. She became touchy and started calling me "Ney" more often. She started reminiscing moments we've been together. But haven't told me the "ILY" sentence yet. I'm not sure who am I to her or what are we. She didn't tell anything. So technically, we're still both single. If nililigawan nya ko, then she should inform me. I am not easy to get. Yes, I love her, but as a family. I will still support and assist her throughout her endeavors in life. My only desire are her wellness and see her achieve her dreams in life. Romantically, I'm not ready to like/love her again if there's any. Maybe I was hurt badly or I really experienced a major turn off. Whatever it is, all I know is I need more time. I'm no longer the old Rove who fall easily for sweet treatment even after being hurt badly by the person I loved.
I'm at the point of my life where I don't know who to trust anymore, so I'd rather trust and rely on myself only.
Just like what I told チャ before, kung kami talaga, kami talaga. We should not push ourselves to like or love each other anymore.
It happened multiple times in the past:
- When I was at the lowest point of my life, she left me. She went back when I started feeling good or something good was happening in my life.
- She keeps coming back to Jake every time their LQ has passed. I don't wanna tell or ask anything more about them. It's now none of my business and I don't care anymore. I already lost interest to her romantically.
- She flirts with the people who like her. No, I'm no longer part of their games. I've already signed off from her suitors list.
I think, I have to continue observing チャ. Let's see when she matures in terms of love and relationships. Yes, she is very mature in life, but not in relationships. Maybe this is why my close friends said, she’s still young (age 23). She might be at the age of experimenting whom she really want to spend her life with. Now, I will just be here as her sponsor and supporter of her dreams. Only time will say if we'll end up together in the future. For now, I will just enjoy each other's company as best buddies. 😊
So help me God.
——
Quick observation:
チャ's language of love are affirmation and service. Mine are service and quality time. This means, she might be really testing the waters as of the moment.
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