(Update 8:49AM) What might make me entrust my love to Cha again? See http://grandia-cool.blogspot.com/2019/08/i-wanna-be-in-love.html?m=1
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Few hours ago, I did something I shouldn't have done - f***play. It is something you should only do to the person you are committed with. I'm sorry Cha. I'm sorry Rove. I'm sorry God. Last but not the least, I'm sorry to my future woman. π
I've learned that you can have sex to anyone without any love or feelings upon them - just pure fun. But this is not me. Also, Cha is my precious sponsor kid. I shouldn't fall to any of her temptations - well I didn't but did it anyway.
I tested her with a question, "tayo naba ulit?" She didn't answer. Part of me was saying, "Please say no". Why? I'm not ready yet to like/love her again romantically. Maybe, I still feel a little bit of hatred upon her and J. I should pray for them and forgive them again (and again and again). "Lord, I commit them unto you. Cha is technically single right now so they can now love each other freely without lying or hurting anybody else. They are your children, please forgive them. Please keep them safe and be on the right path always. Thank you. Amen!" And mostly, I pray for my beloved best friend that she'll grow and be mature in love and relationships. Darating din ang araw na makikilala nya ang katapat nya. Yung taong hahabulin nya and she'll be crazy in love with. At sasabihin nya sa sarili nya, "No. I will not be the same person ever again. I don't want to lose this person kaya magiging stick-to-one na ko at magpapakatino. I will not do the things na ikakagalit nya. I will be devoted sa kanya as long as I live." I believe in Cha, that she can change for the better. π She'll be a beautiful and well-respected woman in the future.
On the other side, I still don't feel any romantic love upon her - just pure concern and love with a family member and a best friend. I can say, that second letter I wrote for her was life changing. Para kong nabunutan ng tinik. I let go of everything and felt at peace. π And masasabi kong, naka-move on na ko. And the only thing that keeps me cautious is "I want and deserve a loyal and faithful partner, not a player nor a user." I have started preparing myself and my finances for my future woman/girlfriend/fiancΓ©. ☺️ Excited na ko makipagdate ulit. Hahaha! Sabi nila, hindi raw hinahanap, kusa raw darating. Pero I believe na kelangan maging open and vast ang perspective mo para mapansin mo sya. At in some way, search for her. π Family, career, business, and lovelife, I can do them all at the same time. π In my current life's Plans A to D, no lovelife is considered (my past plans used to have Cha in it but they were gone like bubbles) - just me and my future. π
So help me God. Amen!
——
Few hours ago, I did something I shouldn't have done - f***play. It is something you should only do to the person you are committed with. I'm sorry Cha. I'm sorry Rove. I'm sorry God. Last but not the least, I'm sorry to my future woman. π
I've learned that you can have sex to anyone without any love or feelings upon them - just pure fun. But this is not me. Also, Cha is my precious sponsor kid. I shouldn't fall to any of her temptations - well I didn't but did it anyway.
I tested her with a question, "tayo naba ulit?" She didn't answer. Part of me was saying, "Please say no". Why? I'm not ready yet to like/love her again romantically. Maybe, I still feel a little bit of hatred upon her and J. I should pray for them and forgive them again (and again and again). "Lord, I commit them unto you. Cha is technically single right now so they can now love each other freely without lying or hurting anybody else. They are your children, please forgive them. Please keep them safe and be on the right path always. Thank you. Amen!" And mostly, I pray for my beloved best friend that she'll grow and be mature in love and relationships. Darating din ang araw na makikilala nya ang katapat nya. Yung taong hahabulin nya and she'll be crazy in love with. At sasabihin nya sa sarili nya, "No. I will not be the same person ever again. I don't want to lose this person kaya magiging stick-to-one na ko at magpapakatino. I will not do the things na ikakagalit nya. I will be devoted sa kanya as long as I live." I believe in Cha, that she can change for the better. π She'll be a beautiful and well-respected woman in the future.
On the other side, I still don't feel any romantic love upon her - just pure concern and love with a family member and a best friend. I can say, that second letter I wrote for her was life changing. Para kong nabunutan ng tinik. I let go of everything and felt at peace. π And masasabi kong, naka-move on na ko. And the only thing that keeps me cautious is "I want and deserve a loyal and faithful partner, not a player nor a user." I have started preparing myself and my finances for my future woman/girlfriend/fiancΓ©. ☺️ Excited na ko makipagdate ulit. Hahaha! Sabi nila, hindi raw hinahanap, kusa raw darating. Pero I believe na kelangan maging open and vast ang perspective mo para mapansin mo sya. At in some way, search for her. π Family, career, business, and lovelife, I can do them all at the same time. π In my current life's Plans A to D, no lovelife is considered (my past plans used to have Cha in it but they were gone like bubbles) - just me and my future. π
So help me God. Amen!
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