I tried going on a solo nature trip. Well, I was bored to death. No signal, no internet. Nothing to do just to eat and sleep. Anyway, I need this to train myself to go outside my comfort zone - be on a solo trip with no one to talk to and be just by myself with the nature.
I want to reflect about my life. How I was so critical with myself about achieving goals. Critical that I was beginning to choke myself and the people I love. And I just told myself, I might as well, just go YOLO. I dont have a higher salary? Who cares! I live with my parents now? Who cares?
I also want to discern my feelings and intentions for you, my ãããŒ. I wanted to know if I pursue because sanay lang ako kasama ka or I pursue you because I really like you.
Well, narealize ko na pede sigurong sanay lang ako kasama ka. Pero I have family, siblings, and pamangkins. Then I dont pursue you because of that. I pursue you because I really like you. I pursue you dahil I imagine myself living together with you, getting married with you, and having family with you in the future.
Maybe, takot ka sa marriage. Well, lahat naman siguro, kahit ako. First of all, practicality. Gastos sa marriage and honeymoon tapos pag naghiwalay, gagastos naman sa divorce. Then another thing, emotional investment. Masakit kaya pag nagseparate ways. Minsan gugustuhin mo nalang mawala sa mundo para lang di mo maramdaman sakit.
Pero, we dont have to get married right away. It'll take time. Lalo na pag both of us ay ready na. But I would like you to know na, I am always here sa tabi mo. I will love and take care of you till my last breathe.
Please be my one in a lifetime woman.
Please be my one and only queen.
Please be my future wife.
I love you and I miss you.
Then my question is, may pag-asa paba ko
-LR-
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