We don't have a theme song nor I have a song dedicated for her. So this means, I shouldn't care more if she's not the woman I've been dreaming to be my wife. ð
Well, I just love her. Maybe as a family and as a person. But I no longer dream of her as my wife. And I'm also unable to imagine a future with her anymore. Past is past. She's not the person to die for anymore (she used to when I was so madly crazy about her). All the good memories we had, in an instant, they don't matter anymore and it turned out, they were all just lies. I don't even know anymore which memories we had are true. And I still cannot forget the years she was cheating on me for the same person. Worse, they been having sex many times (It's really against my belief). And what's even worst? I was so stupid not to notice that I've been lied to for 3 years. 2017-2019 are the years I was crushed and treated as an asshole. I've been giving my all, even finances, thinking she'll be my future wife. But what she did? She just used me, a backup or a past time.
This time, just like what I always say to myself from the 2nd half of 2019, "never again". I've learned my lessons. The truth I've found out are the reminders of not to entrust my heart to her again. I've learned my value and I will not bow down to anyone ever again. This experience I had with relationships made me wiser and stronger. I deserve a loyal and faithful person. This time, I will put myself first above all then my family. I'll put my trust 101% to God. My God will put me back on the track whenever I steer away.
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My future queen,
Please be patient. Great things happen to those who wait. And I will wait for you. You deserve to be waited, my future wife. From now on, I will cleanse my mind and body from any malicious and temptations. I will wait for the day we'll exchange vows then I'll offer my whole self to you.
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