Rove’s Lovelife

Modified 2:20PM

I don't wanna lose myself while serving the people I love. This is why I also love to have downtime. I'd love to have Me Time more often now.

Single or not, seeing someone or not, I don't wanna delay or cancel my plans in life. I wanna focus on achieving them. I don't wanna think critically about the people around me anymore. Don't wanna give a f***.

I gave チャ two handwritten letters. Every word was thought carefully. Every sentence was coming from my heart and mind. After writing the second letter, I had a peace of mind where I let go of everything - even my romantic love to her. I had a sense of feeling that I no longer desire for her appreciation or for her romantic love. That I'd rather stay single than to chase her. It may be because it was really a turn off to like someone who is flirting with everyone. Then after she has read the second letter, her treatment to me has changed. She suddenly became sweeter to me. She became touchy and started calling me "Ney" more often. She started reminiscing moments we've been together. But haven't told me the "ILY" sentence yet. I'm not sure who am I to her or what are we. She didn't tell anything. So technically, we're still both single. If nililigawan nya ko, then she should inform me. I am not easy to get. Yes, I love her, but as a family. I will still support and assist her throughout her endeavors in life. My only desire are her wellness and see her achieve her dreams in life. Romantically, I'm not ready to like/love her again if there's any. Maybe I was hurt badly or I really experienced a major turn off. Whatever it is, all I know is I need more time. I'm no longer the old Rove who fall easily for sweet treatment even after being hurt badly by the person I loved.

I'm at the point of my life where I don't know who to trust anymore, so I'd rather trust and rely on myself only.

Just like what I told チャ before, kung kami talaga, kami talaga. We should not push ourselves to like or love each other anymore.

It happened multiple times in the past:
- When I was at the lowest point of my life, she left me. She went back when I started feeling good or something good was happening in my life.
- She keeps coming back to Jake every time their LQ has passed. I don't wanna tell or ask anything more about them. It's now none of my business and I don't care anymore. I already lost interest to her romantically.
- She flirts with the people who like her. No, I'm no longer part of their games. I've already signed off from her suitors list.

I think, I have to continue observing チャ. Let's see when she matures in terms of love and relationships. Yes, she is very mature in life, but not in relationships. Maybe this is why my close friends said, she’s still young (age 23). She might be at the age of experimenting whom she really want to spend her life with. Now, I will just be here as her sponsor and supporter of her dreams. Only time will say if we'll end up together in the future. For now, I will just enjoy each other's company as best buddies. 😊

So help me God.

——

Quick observation:
チャ's language of love are affirmation and service. Mine are service and quality time. This means, she might be really testing the waters as of the moment.

Revelation

I thought she's grabbing this opportunity (of being single) to be a better person and get mature. But I was wrong, she's still the same. Doing the same mistakes. And it's a choice, not a mistake anymore. She still flirts with the guys who like her. And they all think that Cha likes them back. Cha seems like playing everyone's feelings. This is not the type of woman I wanna marry. I told her I no longer wait for her to be ready again for a relationship or commitment. I will just wait for the day I can see her grow up and be a respectable woman. I told her I don't wanna be in a relationship with a woman who acts like a girl and just plays around. A girl who is immature, liar, disloyal, and unfaithful. I'd better be alone than waste my time to girls. If there are countless of men dying to be with her or dying for their love to be reciprocated, then let them be. I won't spare a single sweat to win her heart anymore. I'm just lucky I know Cha more than them. And though how many times I give advice to her, they are all empty words without actions. Cha is lucky I am one of the few people in her life who has deep concern to her. If she couldn't see that, then well, it's her loss. I wouldn't let myself get killed in a battle where a woman being fought at is a flirt or immature person. I'd rather be her concerned friend than her romantic partner. I love my heart.

Now, Cha is a no-no for me. It's a big time turn off. Person who is fond of telling lies turn me off. Moreover, people who flirt everyone is a major turn off.

Thank you God. I can now finally say that this is a blessing in disguise. This breakup taught me many things and made me see more things I haven't seen before. You really wanted me not to end up with a girl or immature woman. You really do love me and care for me. 😊

Still, I care for Cha - not romantically but a concerned family/friend. If this is really her, fond of telling lies and flirting with everyone, I can no longer do anything about it. But one thing for isure, she has failed big time as my possible future wife. As a family, I am still here whenever she needs a friend. ☺️ She was put in my life for a reason - maybe for me to learn and also to guide her or teach her lessons.

Every little thing happened in our life has a reason.

Invest in thyself

I'm not sure but seems like チャ is developing a bad habit of lying. She lied to me. She lied to her mom. And she lied to everyone else.

Anyway, she doesn't have to lie to me about having suitors. It's okay. She's single. She can do anything she wants. And I just have to make sure that I will never fall for her again. Yeah, I said I love her. I just love her as a person, a dear friend, and possibly a younger sister. But loving her as my queen and romantic partner? Na-ah. She gives me more reasons to not love her romantically. 😋 I just have to fulfill my promise/purpose, then I'm done. 😁

Life's purpose/mission first above anything else.

As for my relationship status? I'm single. And I can start dating after Aug 25, just to give respect to people. BUT, I don't have time meeting new girls. What I want is to meet new women. Women who are faithful, loyal, kind, and wifey-material. Soon, I'll meet my "the one". Not now but I can wait. I need to be wiser this time about choosing my partner in life. This time, I will marry for sure this woman that's why I need to scrutinize the women I'll possibly date. So help me God.

For now, I'll have to invest and get rich. So that when I meet my soon-to-be-wife, I can marry her in just 2-3 years of dating. 😉

Now, self love. 🥰