3 Decades of Adventures! (Happy Birthday!)

Hey! I got a birthday escapade for my 3 decades! 

Went to Batangas with family. I had bad migraine though on the first day that's why I was only sleeping the whole night from late afternoon. 😔 I was also not able to eat dinner because I got bad stomach (vomited the food I ate that time). The next day, Oct 17, I was able to eat well and swam in the morning! 😀 I don't know how to equalize anymore when I free dived. 😕

My phone's signal wasn't working from the time we arrived in Batangas on Friday. I received few SMS and miscall from Carol on Oct 16th. Then the only call and SMS I received on 17th are from Cha. I'm not sure what happened though. Haha! Cha has still a special space in my phone and in heart too. She's a family. 😊

--

We celebrated again on the 18th, Sunday, at home with samgyupsal party and some Soju. This time with my father and other nephews who were left at home. 😁

--

Also on this day, Carol finally said "yes" after few days of "thinking". 😅😆 We're now officially a couple. 😊 Not sure how will this work, the LDR. It's my first time. 😅 But I don't wanna pressure her or myself. Because it's pandemic, we know it's not possible to fly and see each other. Again, we have to be patient until the day we can see each other again in person. When we fell in love, we didn't put so much effort into it. It's like the destiny was working for us to talk and hangout (even virtually). And again, just like what she always say, "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, whatever happens". But she was the one who first initiated and wooed me. Hahaha! Guess what? What's our call sign? (I didn't know at first that term, "call sign". Just learnt it from her. 😆) "LOVE" 😨 It makes me cringe every time. But I have no choice, that's what she wants. 😅

I'm still praying that I've already found my "The One" that God has been preparing for me. If Carol is still not the woman destined for me, I don't know anymore. Haha! I've already laid all my plans and my life to Him.

--

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

Let It Go

While going through my things for the last docs or things Cha owned, I saw the handwritten letter she gave me last 2016/2017.  Nothing. Haha!

Then this Christmas handwritten quotes she gave me. Something like, "Whether to walk away or try harder. Choose wisely." Well, this time, I chose to walk away. I already fought very hard. To the extent of risking my physical, mental, and emotional health 

Just like what Angeline Jolie said, "I don't chase people. I attract." I'm done with chasing Cha. I'd rather stay single than continue liking her. Not worth it. 

It's never easy for me to let go of Cha nor the things we shared together. It's really difficult. But I need to do it and overcome it if I want to welcome and give space to greater things into my life. And I did it - finally learned to let go everything! 😁 With God's help of course!

---

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

God only knows

I am really a slow person. Haha!

Carol wanted me to like/love her not because she likes/loves me. But I prefer to be with someone who sees and values my worth the way I see and value it. I'd rather choose the person who likes/loves me than I like/love. She's the other way around.

I want to scrutinize my heart and feelings. I love Cha. But I don't want as a romantic love anymore, but a family and bestfriend love. Why? I've had enough. I want to completely move on from the romantic love I may have left for Cha. I want to love Carol because I love her. I don't wanna think about the "if only Cha didn't ignore me last month, etc".

I have to spend more time alone. When I can now travel, I want to travel alone or with my family. I might want to go for few weeks. She has a choice of whether she'll wait for me or move on. If she chooses the latter, then she's not the person God is preparing for me. If she chooses the first one and was able to wait for me, then surely, I will be hers forever.

I don't want to skip any process in moving on. One month might be enough, especially I worked very hard. But memories are popping from time to time in my head. I ignore them, but they still kept on coming once or twice in 2-3 days. Maybe, when I completely has moved on, means has forgotten at least 90%, bits of memories won't even perk in the windows of my mind.

——

God, I know you have very great plans for my life. And I want to trust you. I cannot trust my mind nor my feelings anymore. I want to trust you completely and surrender myself. I don't have any idea what's best for me or who's the person you have been preparing for me. I just know she's out there. Please help me change to be a better person and be the right person for your person. Thank you for always saving me. Amen!

Good job Rove!

Hey Blog!

Just want to tell you that God granted my wish and prayer. I have finally moved on from Cha last month. Also was able to recover from my physical illness. All the hard work and prayers paid off. 

What I did? Detached myself from the social media. Learned and began practicing meditation - I still do it everyday. I even did it twice a day. I started practicing mindfulness. Then I started working out 2-3x a week and avoided junk food and drinks (inc. fast food). I also began reading business books and writing my thoughts in my blog. When I feel lonely or sad, I just embrace the feeling, pray, and meditate. And also to help my mental health from falling into depression (because of pandemic), I started taking anti-depressant every other day. I started being grateful and generous with ILYs to my loved ones.

Lastly, acceptance and forgiveness. I always ensure that I only think is the present. I avoid thinking about the past nor the future. Mindfulness.

I am recovering fast. Thank you God and I love you. I now enjoy being single and alone. ^_^

Aside from this, I am also praying for the person God is preparing for me. Praying that she should be my last and only person I would like to spend the rest of my life with. And I can wait. Patience is a virtue.

--

As for Cha, I tried reaching out to her since we had misunderstanding last July 27 until now. But what can I do if the person doesn't want to be reached out? I also cannot give Moo, Rain, nor Katkat to her. Why? She failed to ask how they were doing for the past few weeks (Jul-Aug). Now that they are doing good without her, she's going to get them? Na-ah. She can only borrow Tiger, Api, or Roshi. For the rest, I will not let her borrow them. She might not return them. 

Even though I don't know her reasons why she did all that, I deeply understand her. If I were in her shoes, I might probably do the same. But past is past. What we can all do is to move forward.

--

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

What a great way to start a morning 😆

Sana magdilang anghel ate ko. 😄 Kahit dun muna tayo sa "taong magmamahal". Hahaha!

On the other hand, di ko kailangan magmadali. I believe na there's one person out of 2 billion people here on Earth na nakatadhana satin. And God will make a way for us to meet that destined person no matter what happen and no matter which path we go.

Why I believe that? Because when I met Cha again, it's destiny. ^_^ And she’s still an important person in my life, a family and a little sister. ☺️ If lovelife, she has no problem. Mamili nalang sya sa mga nagkakagusto sa kanya. Hahaha!

Be patient. The best has yet to come.

I don't know anything at all. But I think I understand.

YES! God is preparing something greater than any human can think of. I just have to be patient. Been praying for the right partner since 14 years old.

--

So thankful to my anti-depressant med and my discipline to have healthy lifestyle - workout 2-3x a week, meditate everyday, avoid sweets, no softdrinks, no junk food, quality time with family and furbabies, and smile.

It's okay to not feel good everyday. I just have to embrace all the emotions I am feeling including sadness and loneliness.

--

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

What is this trying to teach me?

Heartbreak and pandemic are teaching me to be more patient and have in control of my actions. Teaching me to not be possessive and over protective; and just let go of the things. Let these things unfold themselves.

--

Nothing is impossible with Him. =D

busy schedule, i love it.

Sometimes.. It felt like I wanna give up. 

どうして? I guess, one of the reasons I joined Groove in the first place has become useless.

なにこれ? Denise quit the job of being our TL. 

と? We will no longer have 1-on-1s. 

でも。。Yes, Denise is still part of our team. 

Anyway, let's wrap it up.

Orange is becoming difficult. 

Maybe because of tight schedule? 

I barely have enough sleep  every Friday and Saturday.

There are a lot of things I wanna do. 

I know you know it fully.

There is still shooting practice I gotta attend to - if I'm doing nothing. And it's supposedly Sundays.

Every Saturday is only for Groove.

Bout movies, Anime,  series, etc? Guess when I get home after work.

Busy schedule. A lot of things I need to do.

And I chose them. Why complain? No, I shouldn't.

In fact, I like it. I like making myself  busy. 

がんべれよrove-さん~! 

work hard, play hard ;D

Denise V. The perfect girl for me.

The only girl I wanna see.

There's no other girl in the world.

That fits to me perfectly.~

But if you are not. And can't be mine.

Then just let me look at you with a smile.

Anyway, I hope that I'll be able to meet someone like you.

And wishing that she would like me too.~

Haha! Just watched Running Man Episode 99. 

It feels good to dance and perform. Yeah. Groove! Haha.

After X years, I was able to play badminton again (though after games). XD

Adios Patria Adorada..Region Del Sol Querida.. XD

I got no time to get jealous anymore.

Because all the persons that I end up liking never had a chance to try to like me too.

Tss. In my wildest dreams.  

Nyway, I should be already get used to it. 

Adios!

thanks, my TL

Watever you say and watever you do, you make me smile. 

Thanks for that. 

It's been such a long time since I last smiled like that.

I am always smiling at night until I fall asleep.

But then, I got to stop thinking that I like you so much.

And especially, should stop thinking that I already fall in love. 

It will only makes me sad again after sometime.

Yeah. 'Cause I know that I'll get broken-hearted in the future if I continue doing this.

But thanks a lot, my Team Leader.

You'll always be a person to look up to. 

yeah. don't know

yo. don't know.

it's not that i don't care if not havin a relationship.

in fact, i would love to have one - a serious one.

but how? people that i used to like and love didn't like me at all. 

ima pity fella.  XD

i made a promise to myself this time (though i don't make promises)

i'll love the girl that i'll have in the future wid all my heart and mind.

i'll respect her just how much i respect myself.

i'll protect and care for her no matter what.

we'll stay together thru thick and thin until the end of our time.

but how will i prove all these things if nobody would dare to try to give a chance?

haha. really a pity person i am. XD

nyway, i don't mind waiting.

it'll just arrived in time.

for now, just enjoy life.

and love will come and get me. 

(i'm still young so who knows? a guy or a gal. who knows.)

wat da life rove

Do you think my mom buys me everything that I want? 

No it's not.

All my wants came from my own blood and sweat. 

My mom never bought me anything that I told her I would love to have.

From my sneakers, PS3, posters, albums, clothes..

I started buying on my own since I'm about to finish College.. until now...

I'm still a kid. Yeah.

I would like to experience all the things that I know can make me happy, smile, and laugh.

I wouldn't know. One day, I might never wake up again. 

That's why every chance is important to me.

I still do slow down at times. I know my limit.

But wat da on earth? 

Argh!!!~

I work for my own. I live on my own.

I pay even my stay here (inc. food, transpo, etc.)

One day, I was thinkin'.. What if I just bore a child and have someone.

Maybe my parents will provide all the things I need - even for my child?

Hahaha! Silly thoughts..

Anyway, I just gotta tell my mom that I won't be able to give her half of my salary for the following months.

I gotta pay my debt to my credit line. (Sick PS3!) Tsktsk.

Bbye!~

God knows my heart. Jesus knows me.

They know all about me. Though I don't understand myself, they do. 

R-O-V-E heart

I miss Dalmatian. ~_~ I really like the songs in their 1st Mini Album.

I wonder where they have gone. 

I love myself. 

Wala na kasi masabi. 

At wala rin masabihan. 

----------------------------

April 20 or 27?

Whichever be my choice is, it's still be difficult on my part.

Because I'll be the Primary DM for these weeks. 

---------------------------- 

I love you Rove. So much.

You're the best.

You're cool.

You're kind-hearted.

You're cute.

You're good looking.

You're funny.

You're respectful.

Most of all, I love you with all my heart and mind, Rove.

- God, Jesus, and Rove

swag

Describe the mood. 

Leikeze Van Helsing
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System