You are not a dog, Rove.

They say, you should love unconditionally. And you should love at your inconvenience.

When you love at your convenience, the other person will get tired eventually. Just following you around like a robot.

Rove, get a life! Enough following her around. Learn to say "no" to her. She's like in control of your life - letting her do all the things she wanted to do leaving you with no choice but to agree.

—-

Ano ba laban ko? I'm checkmate. I wanted to go to Cabanatuan to celebrate birthday with a grandmother. And of course, I love traveling. She cancelled it leaving you no choice since it's not your grandmother in the first place. Telling you to have it next weekend instead. But you might have another plan next weekend. Then she told you, "eh di wag ka sumama." Then what's choice left to me? Me wanting to try to spend some time with a grandmother and having plan for next weekend. "If you wanna come and see her grandmother, you have to cancel your other plans." Whichever I choose, I'm at lost. I'll never win. It should always at her convenience.

Rove, find alternatives. Learn to say "no" to her and learn to say "yes" to others.

Hang out with others. You'll get pass through this.

——

God, just in case MBA is not for me here in PH, help me land a job in Japan, Canada, Australia, or Europe. From there, I will learn to be tough enough not to depend to anyone. And smart enough not to look pathetic. I don’t want to look like "a pity person" - a person begging for someone's time and love. I look pathetic, I really do. 😆 She already told you, it’s easy for her to change you. And she can change you anytime she wants. Now, I get it. Begging to someone who only see me as a "change of diaper".  So that’s my worth to her, I get it. She might don’t really need me too, since she can change me anytime she likes.

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Now God. Please help me. I'm begging you. I really need to be a millionaire or better, a billionaire. I really need to become one! So that all the women who only think of me as a low creature, trying to fit in, and begging for their time, will be dying to be with me or even get a glimpse of my attention.

I swear. I will be rich! Fucking rich that I can buy all the beautiful men and women in the world and tell them to kill each other if they want to see me. All the fucking creatures who see me as "diaper" or trash will someday bow down on their knees and seek forgiveness.

So help me, God. Thank you God and I love you.