wat da life rove

Do you think my mom buys me everything that I want? 

No it's not.

All my wants came from my own blood and sweat. 

My mom never bought me anything that I told her I would love to have.

From my sneakers, PS3, posters, albums, clothes..

I started buying on my own since I'm about to finish College.. until now...

I'm still a kid. Yeah.

I would like to experience all the things that I know can make me happy, smile, and laugh.

I wouldn't know. One day, I might never wake up again. 

That's why every chance is important to me.

I still do slow down at times. I know my limit.

But wat da on earth? 

Argh!!!~

I work for my own. I live on my own.

I pay even my stay here (inc. food, transpo, etc.)

One day, I was thinkin'.. What if I just bore a child and have someone.

Maybe my parents will provide all the things I need - even for my child?

Hahaha! Silly thoughts..

Anyway, I just gotta tell my mom that I won't be able to give her half of my salary for the following months.

I gotta pay my debt to my credit line. (Sick PS3!) Tsktsk.

Bbye!~

God knows my heart. Jesus knows me.

They know all about me. Though I don't understand myself, they do. 

Argh!!! Aish!!!

Aish! Argh! Nababanas ako sa sarili ko. Why oh why?

I lack something. And I know it!

What's the worst part?

Knowing the thing that you lack and yet you don't know how to give solution to it. 

you make me sick

I had never cheated on you. Never. I had just loved you truthfully with all my heart and soul. You're the one who made fool of me. You got no right to say that you deserve someone better 'cause you fooled me. I was very wrong that I had loved you. Very wrong. Just thinking that we used to be lovers makes me puke. 

Leikeze Van Helsing
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

allergies!!!

waaaaah! allergies!!!

after such terrible cough i had this past two months, i have now allergies! - wat da?!

first, it covered my whole feet, then legs, then thighs!
second, it covered my whole arms!
third, my back, neck, then my face!

i can't help myself but to scratch...waaaah!

i don't know really its cause...it may be from the food i've eaten or from the dust...i know i have my allergies into these things...

if it's from food, i can't figure out what food i ate...i guess it's not
if it's from the dust, i guess it is!

room is so filthy!
dusts are everywhere...esp. in my pc
unfiled papers are spreading in the racks...
my things are cluttered...
bedsheets, comforter, pillows, and huggable dolls were already more than two months old...i mean needed to be wash...

yuck! i guess i better clean up my room...um,,,maybe tomorrow...hehehe...

see yah! =D

errrr...baka! =D

asar! badtrip! stupid! jerk! errrr...

dami gagawin ngayong araw na toh! tapos dinagdagan pa ng mga usaping hinde maganda! asar! tapos sunud-sunod pa malas ko! ang malas ko talaga ngayong araw na toh! rarrrrr....

kung nawala lang talaga ako sa sarili ko, I've already killed all the people involved in Education!

kung wala lang ako self-control kanina eh, pinatay ko na si siopao! - lol!

kung wala lang talaga ako patience kanina, medyo maputi pa sana ako ngayon! - haha! lol!

errrrr....asar! ayaw ko na talaga mabuhay!!! - lol!

unusual talks...

wat on earth?! We didn't know that people can hear us from outside the window pane. wat da?!

No face anymore! Hate to see and remember those serious eyes again! Am I right Rosy?

My mom and I had a cruel conversation over the telephone this afternoon at the office. I laughed very loud and said many unpleasant words. Waha! But I'm not serious at all! I don't talk seriously to all people who are serious or a little bit angry.

How about the conversation before the telephone thing? Waaaaaah! Hope that no one has heard those things! We might be killed! Our reputation will just be putted into trash! - do we have? hahahaha!

But anyway, hope that they've not be able to hear those things. If they did, we're dead!

=D

few days to go...

Few days to go...I'm so excited to end up my days in school! I'll finally experience a wonderful vacation this summer! - I guess! Waha!

But projects are keeping us down. Priodical exam is fast approaching. Wat on earth?!

Hope that we could finish all the requirements we needed for this school year.

=D

unsignificant...significant...

I don't have any significant things to say. But I write it down anyway.

I don't know but I think I can't smell. I lose my sense of smell. Yes, I have a flu but I can breathe normally. It's just my sense of smell doesn't work.

I've done a few things in gardez la foi. And it has already 13 members. I hope that it'll increase before the school year ends, atleast. So that even though we're already in college, we can stay in touch to each other.

I'm doing now the project in Values. Hope that I could finish it today so that I may now start studying and memorizing tomorrow.

Significant:
My dad might not be able to go home this March for my Graduation day and for this summer. Just this afternoon, I heard my mom talking to her cell and I know that she's talking to my dad. I don't know if my dad will go home or not.

Aalisha's operation has succeeded and just need to wait for her complete recovery. Thank God!

useless...

Why are they hiding some secrets from me? Or it is just I am who shows do-not-care attitude? Or it is just I'm not asking? Either of them all, I still have the rights to know about these stuffs.

I remembered the talks Karla and I had in Y.M. She had say about printing accounting that I do not know at all. I asked her what it is. Then our question and answer portion lead to her sermons. She said that why I didn't try to ask anybody when we're in school or I just don't care at all - about sorts of stuff. Then she had also say that I should talk even a little because my mouth is becoming useless. And why I can stand not talking for long hours - I might be deaf that's why. Then some people who are deafs are wishing to talk then I, who has given a voice to hear, do not talk at all. Hahahaha! Lol! Our conversation, I mean her sermons, is so fun! I just laugh, but I'm really can't help myself from laughing.

Yeah! I'm not fun of talking when I do not want to or I haven't anything to say. I talk a lot in the right place at the right time. And I also choose topics where I could say senseful things. I feel embarassed afterwards when I talk senseless things. I better love to listen than to talk. But it doesn't meant that I could not talk at all.

Getting away from the main topic... Ahhhhhh! They should have told me! But I think whether they have told me or not, I couldn't do anything at all. I'm just useless. I may be useless this time but someday I can be more than useful -waha! For now I need to be strong and not show any signs of cowardness or weaknesses, even though I'm just watching them.

;D

DoPple - GaNger (mistery)

MISTERY...

How would you react when someone suddenly appears then tells you who you are? Someone that knows your deepest and darkest secrets? Someone that frees your past when you have juz locked them up a few years ago.

Yeah, mistery written everywhere.

I dunno who that person was. I just met him in Imesh. Thought he was a friend but now he turns out to be my reflection. I havn't seen his true form for I considered him as an alien. We had laughs when we first chatted for we had the same ideas to talk about. I thought he was my soul mate, but when he said that he knew me, I started to shiver.

I took it as a joke, I challenged him, so asked him if he knows my name, and he answered me:

"Be it a smile or an invitation,
she'll know how to respond."

and below he typed my name...

Scary it may seem but it kinda interests me. I know when I was in grade two or three, I had a male friend for I have a boyish attitude when I was a kid. He have problems on how to talk to the one he admires and he seeks for my advice. I don't know what to say but I did gave him an answer, and yes, the phrase above was my answer.

Must it be him? No, It can't be. He also knows my present not only my past. He knows the name of my friends and what we always do. He knows the times when we skipped classes and the times when we went to the mall.

Who could he be? Is he a friend or a foe?

Is he me?

A friend of mine told me that he might be my dopple-ganger. I asked for the meaning of it and she said that It was someone alike to you and more like you. A person who has your memories, skills and attitudes, in short, a living me (oh....k.. that's confusing.) or another me (yeh, that could work).

Who could he be?

When I ask his name, he answers:

"you know me" and sometimes adds "silly" in the last word.

Hmm... I guess there's an investigating to do.

* He can't be a relative, I never tell anyone my deepest secrets not even my friends.
* He can't be a member of my family, they don't know that I skipped class.
* He can't be my piano teacher, she doesn't know that I go to malls, and she's a SHE.
* He can't be my brother, he also doesn't know that I skipped class and that phrase.
* He can't be my mother's secretary, she has no right to interfere in my life nor know my
secrets. Well, she's a SHE too. I guess that should not count, he could pretend to be a HE.
* He can't be my old friend, he doesn't know Rachel and Roveann.
* hmm.. running out of ideas.
* yep, can't think of another

any ideas? comments? clues? ANSWERS?

^.^"

lost in my mind...

I don't know but I guess I have something to tell. I have so many things to be post last days, but I didn't have enough energy to open up this pc.

(wat on earth this song is playing! - My Humps by B.E.P.)

Ok, wat's up? My mind is blocked. I want to think and I think I've got something to tell. But something saying me that I don't need and shouldn't to post it here.

Waaaaaaaaaah! I want to! But I can't! (another scene in my mind) What will I do? wawawa!

(Oh yeah! Cry Me A River Remix!) Cry a river for me! - wahahaha!

Right now, I'm just downloading some widgets...I don't have something to do. I want to watch the Animes they lend me, but my cd-rom was already dead!

hanging? wlang ending?

Of headaches and failing grades

It is now 9:34 in the evening... and I am not yet studying for the AP and El Filibusterismo exams. Well, let us just say that studying is really tiring and boring(?!) hehehehehehehehehe.

Anyways... I ruined my thursday morning by waking up 5:00... and knowing that 2 hours to go and I will have my English exams. Do you know why? because I haven't studied yet.

Bummer.

And to add to my sufferings... my mind was blank while answering the exam. Plus, my head was aching and our teacher is telling us to pass our papers (too much pressure to my aching brain.)

That is not the end of it.

After the English exam, I stilll have Physics quiz to worry about.

But thanks to God, I did well in the quiz.

Nevertheless, because of the happiness I felt in the quiz results, my headache came back. It worsen while I study the story 'How my brother Leon brought home a wife' (is the title right?) Furthermore, while doing the quiz, my head really ached. In the end, my score is 0/10 (great right?)

But I still had fun. Even though I gone through all of those - trials (hehehehehehe...) I had fun in playing scrabble. I had fun being with my friends.

I went home happy, momentarily forgotten all the bad things that happened.

Right now, I am now worrying on what to do. Well, I guess, I wasted all my time complaining, that I happen to forgot to thank God to all the grace periods He had given me all these time. Men (I mean women) can be really blind, right?

I know all of the things that is happening around me has a purpose. I know, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, that there is a reason that I opened my account here and typing my entry in the blog. In short, All things have a purpose according to the will of God.

I hope that something good may happen later on. I wish that may God hear my hopeful prayers. Because I am going to need it.

Lord, what is Your plan for me?

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

----------------> Guess I don't need a reason to question all of God's doings. He knows what He is doing, right?

wat da?! lost en messed up...

wat da?! My day today is no good. We had two quizzes and it's all about math! I only answered 3 numbers out of eigth in Adv. Algeb. - waha! lol! And in Adv. Geom, I didn't get the answers with those two numbers - waaah! Both quizzes' answers are all not sure! I can't concentrate that much during Adv. Algeb, it's because of these things! - waha!

• My stomach hurts, even though I didn't feel of going to the c.r. neither I'm hungry nor it's my day. It won't be because of having the feeling of going to the c.r., I did it before going to school! - lol! I may be hungry, but I ate even a little before going to school and I know whether I'm hungry or what. It never be because it's my day, I'm already finished week ago.
• I feel my saliva drooling out - yuck! I mean I feel something blocking my throat - it's saliva! yuck! lol! - and I can't help myself but to cough even though I don't want.
  

wat da?! All I can say is I lost and messed up myself today.

wat da?! But I think I know the reason. I didn't pray after I woke up nor before going to school. It's just I lost myself to God. I guess, next time I need to wake up early so that I'll have enough time to pray and communicate with my Father.

play life or not?

3 of us included Rosy's brother played counter strike until 6:30 p.m. My mom was already calling me and I'm just ignoring it, afraid to be shouted.

We should have gone together in Marikina to meet my grandma (father's side). But I insisted that I'll just follow after an hour. But instead of an hour, it turned into 2 hrs and 30 mins. When we were just in the middle of the game, my mom was keeping on calling on my cell & texted me. I texted back after so many unanswered calls. Finally, we finished our game and answered my mom's call. Of course, what you'd expect? I can't stand her voice and shouting that I even keep a distance between my ear and my cell. But in the end, my mom called me for the last time with calm voice.

Honestly, I don't care whether I'll meet my grandma or not. And especially I don't want to go there at Marikina - so bored! This is the second time I met my grandma again - they said - but for me I think it's the first time. For my bro, it's also the second time - if he remembers; but for my sis, it's the first time. Then after so many talks and singing made by my lil' sis, we finally decided to go home - I was bored! But before we rode bicycles, my bro, my sis and my mom were talking so loud in front of a sari-sari store. I was just walking back and forth in the same direction. They made me little pissed off.

Before we rode a jeep going home, my dad called my mom in her cell. Of course they talked, then my mom handed me her cell so that I could talk to my dad. Whatever! - lol

Then, now, I'm home! (Wat da?!) I was just finished playing Harvest Moon in GBA.

work, work, work!

We've work on to our car project at one classmate's house. I went there at around 1:35 p.m. We ended up our work at around 10:20. Our project is not yet finished. Waaaaaaaaaah! We left our classmate's house at around 10:25 p.m. Three of us walked to find the shortcut to the VEEH gate. We have found the way out at exactly 10:52 p.m. Instead of finding the shortcut, we made long ways - waha! we were lost! Then, I arrived at our home at exactly 11:11 p.m.

It's already 2:42 a.m. I had a hard time doing the accounting homework, for I forgot that the deadline is before 12:00 a.m. and I didn't start anything yet. I used the jpeg format because my excel is not working. I've already made up 30 3D glasses.

Ok, it's already late. I gotta go! ;D

know your limit...

wat da?! Why they don't just stop teasing me with those people?! It's ok, but the information is becoming known to public. It's ok that it's only lurking inside our group, unless it breaks the wall of the group and has reached the ears of people - I'll kill ya!

All of you guys! pls. know your limitation...

You don't know when I'm going to be pissed off. When that thing happens, expect that I won't answer you anymore.

P.S. Sorry for all the limits I extended for. Let me know if it's enough. I'll try to stop myself - self-control is my weakness, you know.

uh-oh!

I think there are things I wanted to say. I guess there so many that most of it were forgotten to post.

Ok, let's just start today. Or I may say what I feel today.

• I want to sleep. But my mind doesn't want to.
• Just before going home - sick! - I heard something. I don't want to remember it no more!
• And plus! After I had finish taking the test in Filipino and I'm about to review for Adv. Algeb, I hate what I heard!
• It's connected yesterday, when I was reviewing with Zyra at Rosy's chair. Waaaaah! I really hate to hear those things!

I hate all things that I heard today! Hey! Pls. just don't think about it!

Aw! I know that truth always sets us free. But what if truths will cage our happiness?

What do you prefer?
a.) you see everyone's happy but you're lonely. you sacrifice your happiness for the sake of others' happiness
b.) you're happy but there are people who is not. people will just forget their happiness for you.

Do you watch 'Abt ur luv' in Star Magic Presents in ABS-CBN every Saturday? It's somewhat related to one's 'happiness'. ;D

It's just give and take. Or I may say a battle that only one is a true winner. One must lose for the win of the other.

;D

what's up? Argh...

Sick! Why is everybody showing up some low energy? I don't understand. I've done my best to set it up, but still why everybody is not cooperating? - intentionally or not.

Argh... I don't understand. When it comes to hanging out or going to mall, everybody is game. When it comes to anything that aren't so important, everybody is present. So why when it comes to serious things like project, everybody isn't available. Argh...

Yeah! I know that vacation should enjoy to the most. But there are things to finish up and prepare now. I don't want to scram especially when the deadline is near. I'm not that kind of person. I want to enjoy the time in waiting for presentation while the other groups are just starting preparing. But I know that all groups have already prepared their presentation. Argh...

I know that some people are so busy with their jobs - assigned by their parents or self jobs. But try to set up your schedules. Every person values their time, so please also value the time of others.

I don't want to be your enemy. I understand your reasons. But do also your best to cope it up even for once.

I've always gotten a fight or misunderstanding with my mom every time I'm telling her that we'll have projects to do and I need to go. Kung ako lang, di na q aalis eh. I better love to stay at home.

Argh... It's so hard to balance the time for family and studies. I'm always stealing a time in family just for studies. But I'm still not good at school. Argh...

But after all these things, my '07 wish will soon come true, maybe not now but someday - a family picture.

;D see yah!