completely wrong..

I'm gonna kill myself for this. 

I'm really broke now. Yeah I know. I'm a very impulsive person. Don't know why I still didn't change. It seems like I'm waiting for someone to change my ways--to control me for good. But I was completely wrong when I read this..

Christmas: God Changes Us by Jon Walker

"I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?" (Romans 7:24 MSG) Have you figured out yet that a lot of times you are your own worst enemy?  It's your own reactions, your own fears, your own inadequacies that cause you to act in foolish ways. I know that's true for me. I need to be saved from myself because there are things I don't like about me, things I wish I had done differently, things I'd like to change. But I can't change them, not on my own power. I need an outside power source.  You may be saying, "I can change." I hate to say this, but you can't. In January, you're going to make a list of New Year's resolutions. And, by the end of January, that list will be in the dumpster. Why? Because you can't change on your own; you need God's power. You need a Savior; someone who can make the changes you can't make yourself.  Let me make an important point here: God never wastes energy. He doesn't waste effort on things that are unnecessary. In other words, if you didn't need a Savior, he wouldn't have sent one. The very fact that God sent a Savior means you need one. The truth is, if you are honest about it, sometimes you feel like your life is out of control. That's a pretty common feeling. Welcome to the human race!  The apostle Paul felt that way 2,000 years ago. Paul says this in the Bible: "I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does"(Romans 7:24-25 MSG).That's the answer! Let me be honest with you. You may be looking for salvation in the wrong places; that's why you're frustrated. You're looking for that one thing that's going to give you fulfillment and meaning and peace in life.  Some of us think that if we could just get married, or if we could just get a certain job, or a promotion, or attain a certain level of wealth, or have a baby — or if our babies would grow up and graduate! — things would be great. You're looking in the wrong places.  A lot of people are looking for salvation in a self-help book. Or they're looking for it in therapy or in a fad or diet. Or they're looking for it in a vacation: "If I could just escape to Tahiti, everything would be great." The problem is that if you go to Tahiti, you're taking you with you!  The answer is not in a place. It's not in a program or a pill. The answer is a person: Jesus Christ. You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life is never going to make sense. How would your life change if you fully accepted your dependence upon Jesus? What would a "fully accepting" faith look like?

I don't need a far-away vacation place just for me to find myself. I need Jesus Christ. In Him, I'll be able to find the rest and peace I'm looking for.

I don't need to wait for a person to change me for good. Christ is always there-waiting for me to go to him.

I need Jesus Christ. I need God. I need them in my life. 

Why I didn't think of it in the first place.. 

I'm sorry God and Christ. Now I know.

Please help me... You are the only one who knows what's really happening to me.

Though I don't understand myself, you yourself know it fully.

Thank you. I love you. 

yeah yeah yeah.. *sigh*

Yo!

This is it. A decision should be made and finalized.

Will not MOC as much as possible for this whole week. 

Don't want to fall again 'cause don't want to get hurt again.  It's okay if it's just a normal one but it's not. It's called rejection.

Kinda lost (again?)

doushiyou? +_+

I'm lost. 

1 month. I need a month to li-lo at few things.

A month to li-lo wid Shojo Jidai. 

In order to avoid the feelings to come back again.

Well then. 

9 Angels

eh? where's our sound card???

for anyone who have witnessed this crime, please report immediately!!!!

I think you already get it...

Our sound Card is gone!!!!!

help!

^.^

DoPple - GaNger (mistery)

MISTERY...

How would you react when someone suddenly appears then tells you who you are? Someone that knows your deepest and darkest secrets? Someone that frees your past when you have juz locked them up a few years ago.

Yeah, mistery written everywhere.

I dunno who that person was. I just met him in Imesh. Thought he was a friend but now he turns out to be my reflection. I havn't seen his true form for I considered him as an alien. We had laughs when we first chatted for we had the same ideas to talk about. I thought he was my soul mate, but when he said that he knew me, I started to shiver.

I took it as a joke, I challenged him, so asked him if he knows my name, and he answered me:

"Be it a smile or an invitation,
she'll know how to respond."

and below he typed my name...

Scary it may seem but it kinda interests me. I know when I was in grade two or three, I had a male friend for I have a boyish attitude when I was a kid. He have problems on how to talk to the one he admires and he seeks for my advice. I don't know what to say but I did gave him an answer, and yes, the phrase above was my answer.

Must it be him? No, It can't be. He also knows my present not only my past. He knows the name of my friends and what we always do. He knows the times when we skipped classes and the times when we went to the mall.

Who could he be? Is he a friend or a foe?

Is he me?

A friend of mine told me that he might be my dopple-ganger. I asked for the meaning of it and she said that It was someone alike to you and more like you. A person who has your memories, skills and attitudes, in short, a living me (oh....k.. that's confusing.) or another me (yeh, that could work).

Who could he be?

When I ask his name, he answers:

"you know me" and sometimes adds "silly" in the last word.

Hmm... I guess there's an investigating to do.

* He can't be a relative, I never tell anyone my deepest secrets not even my friends.
* He can't be a member of my family, they don't know that I skipped class.
* He can't be my piano teacher, she doesn't know that I go to malls, and she's a SHE.
* He can't be my brother, he also doesn't know that I skipped class and that phrase.
* He can't be my mother's secretary, she has no right to interfere in my life nor know my
secrets. Well, she's a SHE too. I guess that should not count, he could pretend to be a HE.
* He can't be my old friend, he doesn't know Rachel and Roveann.
* hmm.. running out of ideas.
* yep, can't think of another

any ideas? comments? clues? ANSWERS?

^.^"

lost in my mind...

I don't know but I guess I have something to tell. I have so many things to be post last days, but I didn't have enough energy to open up this pc.

(wat on earth this song is playing! - My Humps by B.E.P.)

Ok, wat's up? My mind is blocked. I want to think and I think I've got something to tell. But something saying me that I don't need and shouldn't to post it here.

Waaaaaaaaaah! I want to! But I can't! (another scene in my mind) What will I do? wawawa!

(Oh yeah! Cry Me A River Remix!) Cry a river for me! - wahahaha!

Right now, I'm just downloading some widgets...I don't have something to do. I want to watch the Animes they lend me, but my cd-rom was already dead!

hanging? wlang ending?