Let go and move on

It's time to move on Rove.
Don't chase anyone. If they don't make an effort, it's a reflection of them not wanting to keep you or get in touch.
Move on. You deserve people who give an effort.
People who value your existence. Be with them, stay with them. Spend your time with them.
Let go and move on. So that there will be space in your life for the right people.

So help me God.

Gotta go

Ayaw ko na mainlove.
Aanhin ko ang maganda mong mukha kung di mo kaya panindigan ang relasyon natin. Kung di mo kay gampanan ang pagiging committed satin.
You always avoid me. You're a red flag. Always have an excuse to meet me.
I'm done with you. My mental health is always at risk because of your treatment.
Guess we're not compatible. I don't have any regrets. I know I've done my best on this relationship. This time, it's your loss. Sayonara~

If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be

Goin to Bontoc made me realize that I'll never be one of her priorities.

I think it's time for me to let her go. I'm not an option nor a past time only.

I have no regrets anyway. I know I've done my best for our relationship. I did the most effort, always find time to be together. Invested much even I'm broke.

I don't want to beg anyone for their time anymore. I always set aside my pride when I love someone. But now, I think God is teaching me to be patient. To wait. Not to beg anyone again. And learn how to let go when it's time.

God, let Your will Thy be done. Even I prayed to you and to the Universe to give Anj to me, to be my last and forever partner, I still don't know if she's the right person for me.

I'll let her go na God and Universe. I don't want to force anyone anymore. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

Hike to new life

This time is the perfect time to start moving on.
Grab this opportunity.
I've started introducing myself as single. Not to find new but to enjoy without limit.

2nd time she wanted to break up

Maybe it's time to let go?

——

I went to Padaba tonight just to see her 'cause I was missing her. Then she told me that she wanted to break up because she doesn't have time for me. Nasasakal na raw sya. And it's better na single nalang sya.

I told her na if that's the setup she likes, she'll reply whenever she likes, she'll meet me whenever she likes, I'll let her. And asked her if she still wants to continue. She said 'yes'.

Now, I'm torn between holding on or letting go. It's already a red flag that she'll only spend time with me at her convenience.

I also realized that I might becoming controlling. 😞 The same way I did to my exes. I should change this.

Starting from now, I'll just reply to Anj whenever she'll message or call me. Para di ako maging controlling, I should be conscious to every little thing I will do that involves her. Pero syempre, I will still say 'no' when needed para di magmukhang ginagamit lang ako.

At the same time, mag momove on narin ako para di ako ma-attach masyado. And it will start this weekend, sa hike sa mountain province. Tutal 2mos palang naman kami at 5mos palang magkakilala. Di pa ganun kasakit siguro. Haha.

——

God and Universe, ilayo nyo ko sa mga maling tao. Nawa'y ipakilala nyo na sakin ang tamang tao sakin para di na ko magsayang ng oras sa kahit sino. Thank you and amen!

Whatever is meant to be, will eventually happen

God, I'm sorry. Kung meron man ako nagawa.

Please, ilayo nyo po ko sa mga maling tao. Ayaw ko na po masaktan. Ginawa ko naman lahat ng best ko. Pero parang laging sa maling tao ako napupunta.

Please give me a heart of discernment. Para malaman kung sinu sinong tao ang makakabuti sakin o hindi. Para malaman kung sinu sinong tao ang deserve ng love and attention ko.

Atleast habang maaga pa, alam ko na intention ng mga tao sa paligid ko. Para di na masayang mga oras namin. My time, my effort, and my love are precious. I don't want to spend it to just anyone who don't appreciate it.

God, I'll heal by myself. Pero sana pakilala nyo na po sakin yung tamang tao nilaab nyo para sakin. I'm getting old na. At okay lang sakin kung mag start kami sa friends. Pero sana sya na talaga.

Si Anj, di na ko sigurado kung sya ba talaga yung pinagdadasal ko. Hiniling ko sya sa inyo at sa Universe. Pero I don't want it to be one-sided love only. Masakit din sakin na ako lang ang nagmamahal ng totoo samin. Pero unfair sa kanya dahil baka makikilala nya pa yung nakatadhana sa kanya. Tatanggapin ko na hindi talaga ako yung para sa kanya. Ayaw ko na pagpilitan pa sarili ko. Enough na Rove. You've done your part. Kung para sayo, para sayo talaga.

Mag momove on na ko kay Anj. And it will start sa akyat bundok this weekend.

"If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."

"Whatever is meant to be, will find its ways to you."