Reminder to Anj not to unfriend when pissed off

Give the same energy

Need to re-energize. Parang wala ko gana makipagusap kay Anj. I have to deal with my own issues alone. Kelangan ko maibalik yung long patience ko. Need "me" time ba? Or need space from all folks around me? 😅 I dunno.

Iunfriend ko nalang sya sa FB. Wala naman kwenta kung friend nga kayo pero naka-restricted ka naman. 😏 Ano sense? Might as well cut the socmed connection.

Anyway, ayaw ko madaliin yung depth ng relationship namin. Darating nalang yung time na lalalim naman at magiging mas open sya sakin. Sa umpisa, ako lang ang attached sa kanya. I poured my energy to court her. Pero now, I sometimes feel na hindi narereciprocate yung same energy binubuhos ko.. kaya minsan tinatamad na ko. Mahal ko sya. Pero pag napansin ko na hindi kami same level ng effort na binibigay, parang tinatamad na ko mag effort pa.

Tatagal kaya kami?

Bank Debts due to fuckin’ Seataoo scam

Help me God with my financial crisis with bank CCs' cash advances due to Seataoo.

It's all my fault. Why did I trust my ex and Seataoo in the first place. 🫤 I didn't trust Seataoo but my ex that time. I can no longer tolerate being with my ex because more unfortunate events happen if I continually stay with her. It's not her fault but mine 'cause I put my trust to her which I don't usually do.

God, I can no longer trust 'investments' with anyone. Instead, I'll just invest on my own business, but not with anyone nor anything.

Now, I am on debt for 2 years. I have to minimize my spending. After my birthday on October, no more going on travels beyond 5k/month budget.

I can foresee that all of my bonus and incentives this coming ber month will just be paid on my bank debts. 😞 Very unfortunate…

Padaba 2nd sleepover

My padaba had 2nd sleepover last night. Nothing particular really happened. 😅 just some quick kissing and touching. No taking off clothes. 😆 we're wholesome here.

Unfortunately, I didn't sleep well. Haha! I just tried to do things but it's either my padaba slap my hand, slap my face, pinch my lips, pushed me away, or she pulled away.

Anyway, we had a quick chat. She called me 'manyakis'. Though I asked her why she said so. She said, 'It's nothing'. And she jokingly said that I should surpass what I did. Even though it's a joke, I take it seriously. Told her that next time, I won't be restraining myself anymore. Haha!

1st Nyt w/ Padaba

Padaba had her first overnight at my place since we became a couple. It's not supposed to be an overnight. 😅 It just took her 2hrs to get here due to long way and heavy traffic. Then we had movie marathon until past 10pm. Then she ended up sleeping at my place.

If you're thinking of something. Nothing happened. 😜 We only hugged and cuddled. That's it. 😝 I will not do anything without her consent. Well, aside from cuddle, I kissed her on her forehead (3-4x), lips (3x smack only), and cheek (once). 😅 In my entire relationship history, it's the first time I was the one who did the 'kiss on the lips' first. 😆

Below is our convo when I booked her a Grab going home at 6am.

Trauma strikes again (??)

Should I tell her I don't like people who drink alcohol more than what they can handle?
Honestly, I don't like my loved ones to drink esp when I'm not around. I'm afraid that they might do not good things or very different when they're sober. Probably I have trauma to possible cheating when one is tipsy. 😞

Itutulog ko nalang siguro to. Ayaw ko na magisip. Baka napaparanoid lang ako. Why I think something like this now? I can connect it to other statement of the person I love.

Anj said, she doesn't want to call me padaba even in private. Baka raw marinig o malaman ng workmate nya. Then narealize ko kanina, why? Itong workmate ba may access sa phone nya? Ako ba ay isa lang sa mga jowa nya? *sigh* Ask ko nalang to pag sober na sya. Ayaw ko makipag usap sa lasing. 😐

Tsaka baka pagod lang ako kaya nakakapagisip ako ng ganito.