On a tight spot

I started to get anxious about "what might happen" that I already thought of ending everything.

I don't want to let go of Laiya since it's my choice in the first place. I also don't want to let go of Filinvest since I didn't object when it was first offered to me even knowing the risks.

I want to increase my source of income so that I can get higher chance of approval rate for the 2 properties next year. Gusto ko sila panindigan kahit na with the current status of my income, it's difficult to support my monthly expenses when the time comes.

God, please help me. I don't want this stress and anxiety wear me down. Please guide me and direct my life. Show me what I should do since you're the only one who knows everything about me and my future. I'll follow you without questions. I trusted my life and my family's lives to you. Everything on this world is nothing. If you say so, I'll gladly let go of them.

Thank you God for everything. You kept on helping me especially mentally and financially. You give me hope every time I'm on a very tight spot.

I pray everything unto you. Let your will thy be done.
In Jesus name, amen!

I’ll tell you R

Why it's always the same.
You should have already started moving on.
Break free from a toxic person. You don't need it.

I know you really wanted to forget that you once loved the person.
Pretend so that you can still live altogether under one roof until you finally move to your own house.

Don't let your heart be swayed over and over again.
You don't deserve it.
You need peace.

10:17PM

Para kong maglalayas nito. 😆😅

Well, until 21 na siguro ko dun. Hanggang matapos graduation ko.

Isama ko na sila Api, Frappo, at Toothless.
Si Roshi ay kaya na siguro nila. Madudungis lang si Rosh sa bahay. 😅

I already wrote my To Bring and prepared other stuff.
I'm just hoping that my ordered mask for graduarion will arrive tomorrow.

—

I think I need a week to be far away from C. It's not the first time I've been telling myself to break up with C. And I've already told myself months ago that I should start moving on. I've already cut my ties with my ex. And soon, if this gonna be my ex, I'll immediately cut ties after settling the papers.

Sukoshi, if we'll break up, she and her sister will go back to their house. Then should I go back to our house? How about all the stuff and appliances I accumulated? Should I continue living independently? As much as I want to, I don't have the means. I've got so many rocks throwing at my head right now. 🫠 Find a housemate? It'll not be easy and I have pets. Find a partner right away? It will be difficult too, not unless no strings attach and just for convenience. 🤔

God, I really don't know what to do anymore. Please give me knowledge and wisdom to make sound decisions in life. In Jesus name, amen!