Casual conversation with Him

God,

Okay sana si Carol. In fact, I can live with her forever if it's just the two of us without any family members from both sides in our home. But if I have to lose myself just to please her family members and kiss their asses just like how she wants me to be, I can't. Kung pilitin nya ko or irequire nya ko hindi maging ako para lang masatisfy ang kagustuhan nyang makisama o halubilo (kahit maging plastic na) sa family members nya, hindi nalang. I am an introvert. I have my personal space. I have my moods if I want to socialize of not. Same goes kung pano di ko sya pilitin makihalubilo sa family ko. I respect her decisions and even not try to be a pushover.

Well, maliban sa external concern na to about family, wala naman issue kay Carol as herself. Oh! Probably yung anger management nya and not taking care of her health very well. Aside from these two, okay naman si Carol.

If only we had the time to heal individually bago kami nagkabalikan, hindi sana darating sa ganito na napagod nalang.

Let Your Will Thy be done. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

My prayers…

-Rove

Just some thoughts…

Bigla ko lang naalala. Well, it doesn't matter naman. Let's just treat this as lesson learned.

You mention na "hindi naman tayo ganito dati".

Dati andun tayo sa bahay namin. You were okay pero in reality hindi at ramdam ko yun. At sinabi ko sa sarili ko after my previous ex na never ko na ititira sa bahay ang partner ko dahil mahirap sa part nya at sa part ko - dalawang masters sinusunod ko (nanay ko at partner ko).

Nagbukod tayo sa Valenzuela. Okay naman tayo dun kahit naghirap tayo sa una.

It starts falling apart nung lumipat tayo dito with your sister. I thought mas okay kasama family mo kesa family ko. I thought okay lang makisama sa family mo. At requirement mo yan sakin. Pero parang same lang pala. You always side with your family than me. Hindi ko rin pede iblame ang family mo dahil alam ko magccause na naman ng away. Dahil alam ko na mas priority mo sila kesa sakin o satin. Kaya hinayaan ko nalang kasi kasalanan ko naman dahil ako naginvite sa kapatid mo. 😅

Narealize ko lang lahat ng to pagkalipas ng ilang buwan na sinabi ko kay Cha na kasama natin kapatid mo sa bahay. Kaya pala ganun nalang sya magreact. Maling mali talaga na may kasamang family member sa bahay lalo na pag may own family kana… 😅 Kasi pag may mali, di macoconfront ng partner mo ang family mo. Tapos lagi ka magsiside sa family mo kesa sa partner mo.

Yun lang. These are just one of the reasons why I got tired of our relationship. 😅

What’s wrong with me?

Why am I like this?
What's wrong with me?

It seems like my day is never complete without talking to her.
Where in fact it's obvious that she doesn't like me.

Why am I like this?
What's wrong with me?

I shouldn't have used my heart again.
It's all blunder and stupid choices.
Mind, please take over completely.
No more crushes, no more flings.
I don't wanna fall in love ever again.

Why am I like this?
What's wrong with me?

On June, it's gonna be a deal breaker.
If she shows up, there'a a chance we can continue our friendship.
If she doesn't, then it's the end of this foolishness I have. I gotta stop messing around and leave too.
Gotta concentrate on my goals and no more lovelife.

Life is meant to be enjoyed and not mourn.
Remember, losing one friend doesn't mean the end of me. There are still more than 7 billion people in the world. I will still be able to meet people with great personality. 😁

Probably God has different plans for both of you. Trust Him.

——

On the side, should I get a St Benedict medallion to give to her? I'll try to get one on Sunday. If ever she'll not show up on the agreed date, it might mean that the medallion is meant to be given to another person.