jealousy strikes

This was my stat this morning until afternoon:

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. Swimming thru sick lullabies. Choking on your alibis. But it's just the price I pay. Destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes. 'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside.

Good thing I talked to Rose and Lei thru text messaging. I poured my emotions-jealousy-to them esp. to Rose. -_- XD

Yeah! Ja really has new one. At patay na patay siya sa crush nya. Kaya kanina, di ko alam gagawin ko. Di ko narin alam kung ano dapat ko maramdaman. Mixed emotions kung baga. +_+ Pero naasar lang ako na nasaktan.

Good thing that Rhea went to Ja's multiply to checked the entry and sent to me in e-mail the entry's content. I asked favor to Rhea of course.

I don't know. I'm so thankful with Rose. She listened to me though my long messages are pissing off. XD

Lei told me too about letting other possibilities that may come my way. And she said too that it's normal to get jealous. About my plan after grad? She said that it's ok to wait, as long as kaya ko pa. 

Yeah! After grad, around 2nd or 3rd week of April, I'll hand Ja a letter. I've already asked Rose about this. Then I'll ask them, Rose and Lei maybe, to get the reply around 1st week of May. Whatever the reply is determines either the end of us and the start of new or another start with us together of a new life.

If Ja's answer will be a 'yes', I'll disagree with my mom's idea. I'll just go to Sg to work. But if Ja's answer will be a 'no', I'll just say yes to my mom with no questions. I'll go to Sg not just to work but to live there. *Sigh*

I really don't know what's ahead of me. All I know is I gotta enjoy this life while doing my best to every task He is giving me.

 

Grandia Van Helsing
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System

not born to fall

I shouldn't have looked on to your multiply and twitter. Though I failed looking at your multiply, I found your twitter. Then the result? I got hurt. :'(

I'm sorry. If only things are just a little bit different. :'(

But what can I do? Just move on.. I don't want to see the earthly you anymore. If I could only fast forward the time, where all of my dreams are realizing. Afterwards, I'll die. Then I'll be with my beloved Fudy who is now in heaven.

Why am I always experiencing 'unrequited love' in my life? Just what I thought so.. I was not born to fall in love. I was born to be with my family-with my parents forever. And of course, with Him especially. 

If I could just be like Ang in Avatar, who is not destined to marry and have his own family because of a mission. I guess, that's how my life is too.

I shouldn't be discouraged for 'greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.' Thank you God. You are the only one left who I can rely on. In you, 'unrequited love' doesn't ever exist. Thank you for your everlasting love. I love you so much above all else.

To my beloved Fudy and By: Still, your happiness is also my happiness. Though it hurts a lot, I can take it as long as you always smile and are happy. :)

 

Leikeze Van Helsing
Grand M0nde
Earth, Solar System