A messy life

I talk a lot I know.
I'm not an expert when it comes to breaking up.
You know that I only had one relationship in the past.
I didn't had the opportunity to ask my ex why we broke up. It just gone in the air like bubble. No words of goodbye nor thank you.
And maybe this is the reason why I bluff a lot.
I've just seen in movies and television that people who break up, talk calmly and enumerate the things why the relationship needs to end.
*sigh*
Well, maybe I'm not ready yet to handle a partner who is so young. I'm already at the age where I want to be independent and achieve a lot while my partner is at the age who still want to have fun and live a "single" life.
A partner who is an only child and so free while me as an eldest and has lots of responsibilities that I'm dying to break out of. Well, maybe I was born and raised like this - bossy, planner, dominant, impatient, etc. And I think, a partner that complements me is someone who can tame me. Someone who doesn't like clashing nor arguments and will initiate calm conversations with me instead.

Well, it's all just well.

I really wanted to go to a very far away place. Place where no one knows me. A place where I can start over and introduce a new me.

If I couldn't do it, is ending one's life a good alternative? I guess so.
When you can no longer continue the story, an easy option is to kill the main cast.

So help me God.