Plans and dreams

I had a discussion with my mom last night.

Prior to that, in the afternoon, I texted her that I would like to work abroad - anywhere and any work even a factory worker. I asked for an agency.

Then we talked that night.

They don't like me working abroad as it's quite difficult. They want me to start my own business. She said, they will provide the capital.

I told her why I want to go abroad - get rich! I told her that when in the Philippines, in order to get rich, you either work abroad or have your own business. I don't want to be an employee forever, all I do is to make my company and bosses rich and not me. 😒

Then she asked me, "Anong business ba gusto mo itayo?" I told her my wildest dreams - backpackers inn and a restaurant. She said to start small. She suggested food carts. Instead of franchising, I can set my own store name. I thought of kwek kwek since I love it and people love it! She added fried squid, the one she saw in TV (My Puhunan). I told her, I can put it in the bridge beside our office building since there's no kwek kwek there. And she told me to inquire the monthly rental fee. And that I will do next week.

On the other hand, she told me that one of her tenants is an admin in Eastwood mall foodcourt. I can set another one there. Another one, she will inquire in the upcoming foodcourt in front of Sta Lucia along Marcos Highway.

She said, they wanted me to handle it, own it, and manage it. And she will help me with the capital. She said, I only need around 100k+ for one food cart. Then I added, "Give me 200k as the half will be a show money for visa 😜." She agreed.

She also said, mom and dad wanted me and rhea take over the family business - Rhea to the lotto outlet and me to the house rentals. She said, let Ivan go abroad since he's a man.

——-

This may be a hint. Since I've been telling myself yesterday that I need to be successful - be a millionaire then billionaire. That I've been dreaming to be billionaire but I'm just not sure when, where, and how to start.

Get rich muna. Lovelife to be followed. 😆

Sinabi ko narin naman kay ハニー that I can wait upto 5 years. I love her as a woman, as my future wife, as a bestfriend, and as a person. I can wait while getting rich and moving on. 😆

I believe that "My future wife will arrive in God's perfect time". I just have to work hard to get rich and continue shaping my body. I need to feel good and look good so that I can attract positive people in my life. 😄

——-

Why I want to marry a woman? Maybe because I want to be taken care of by a motherly love. Motherly love is different. When I was still a kid and haven't had any relationship yet, the only women of my life are my mom and my older sister. I loved and value them so much, not until I had a girlfriend - it's down to her and my mom. Then my second-relationship-that-I-thought-be-my-future-wife, down to her only.

Maybe the reason why ハニー doesn't like me anymore is because of the same reason of my previous relationship - she is already looking for a man. She is looking for a normal relationship - marry a man, normal sex, and have normal kids. If this the case, I can now rest my case. Wala na ko laban dun since she has decided na. I cannot make someone like me - gay/lesbian/bi - if that person is not into it. 😞

Oh well, maybe God is still preparing me and my future wife. I just have to trust His process. Till then, get fucking successful and rich Rove! And be physically attractive too! 😉

Thanks Netflix! 😂

I just watched Jumanji and Suicide Squad. They are full of adventures with some love story. Haha!

The last scene: Joker saved Harley Quinn.
Joker hugged Harley Quinn and said, "Let's go home."

The only thing I said to myself after, "Someday, I will be able to meet my Harley Quinn." Then I will say, "Let's go home." ☺️

Okay gotta sleep! 😁 New day tomorrow.
1st day of moving on has finished. Another day tomorrow. 😉

——-

God, please keep ハニー and Joe safe as they go home later to Ortigas. Thank you and I love you. In Jesus name, amen! 🙏

How to Get Over a Long-Term Relationship in 8 Steps

Currently reading: https://pairedlife.com/breakups/8-Steps-to-Get-Over-a-Long-Term-Relationship

Step 1: Accept the truth

It's very difficult but yes, I accept it now. 

Try to Reflect on Your Relationship for What It Was

Make a list of the things about it that didn't make you happy.

Study shows that thoughtful reflection about a relationship after it ends can help speed up the healing process.

1. I was cheated. Because I disregarded her. I had depression. 

2. I was short tempered. I burst in angst right away without thinking. Then after couple of minutes, they gone but regrettably I already said or did the things I shouldn't do.

3. I am over protective. I treat my partner as baby. That I should care her dearly, protect her, and provide all her needs.

4. I am historical which should be not. I should not be discussing things that are already in the past.

5. I overthink. I always think the worst case and the best case. 

6. They said and felt like I am owning my partner to myself, never letting her be with her friends or family. But it's not true. I am just over protective that I want to know her whereabouts, whether she has already eaten, sleep, etc.

7. I should trust her, pertaining to #6. And that she is already old enough to do things on her own. And she's already old enough to know what is right and what is wrong. If she commits the same mistake, it's not a mistake anymore, it's a choice.

8. I tend to be jealous. Maybe because I'm not a touchy person wherein she is. I know that it's nothing to her but to the other person, it might mean different thing which I don't want them to think that way. Men easily can fall in love with just a touch from a woman, I know it. But I should trust my woman since the day she laid her eyes upon me.

8. Masungit sya. She always roll her eyes when mad or inis sakin. I don't like being rolled eyes with. Nagsusungit minsan nang hindi ko alam dahilan. It's like I should always know what she is thinking. 

9. Similar to #8, mas prefer ko open communication since we're partner. But she tends to be closed and never tell a thing to me. When she did, I should be aware of the replies I will give. If she doesn't like it, she'll get mad and fight me. 

10. For her, frequent misunderstanding, disagreements, and commotions will be the reason to end a relationship. For her, relationship is not a job that she will not work on it. For me, relationship is other way around. All disagreements are opportunities for us to learn about with each other. And relationship is a joint effort. And just like being a mother to a home is a job, relationship is also a job that the two persons should work things out.

11. She tends to be physical when we're fighting. I got bruises. And as much as possible I don't want to hurt her physically, I did even just by hugging her tightly. I really don't want to hurt her. I feel devastated when I did. 

12. She cursed in my face which I don't like too. In return, the time I burst, I cursed her and shouted at her which I regretted after. As I said, also in #11, I really don't want to hurt her. But it seems like it all piled up during that time.

13. I adore and respect her. That's why when someone disrespected her, even by words (e.g. treating her like a sex toy), my hulk inside burst right away. And without thinking, I can say nasty things to the person who disrespected my woman. But unfortunately, my woman looked like defending that person still. Instead of telling me to stop and just let it go. She'll tell me "Mabait naman yung tao. Tigilan mo na. Maghiwalay na tayo." It is like turning out it's my fault. That I should kept quiet and let the people disrespect her and say nasty things to her. She didn't even defended herself to that person. If she only defended herself, I might not do such a thing. Because I will think, "my woman is a strong woman. don't disrespect her. or else, you will be in your grave. haha."

14.She gets lost sometimes. When she is experiencing quarter life crisis, she tend to go to wrong persons. People who will take advantage of her messy thinking. And this is where my overprotective self is coming out.

15. My relationship to her is a choice. I am working hard on it. But then, she's already tired. Stressed and tired with work. No proper sleep. Her anxiety is too high. She might already have depression. As much as I want to help her, I couldn't. She doesn't let me. She always want to do things on her own.

Okay I had enough. Haha.

Step 2: Hang Out With Friends

How will I do this? My partner is also the only bestfriend I have.I have been praying to God for so many years, since I was a kid, that if He can give me a bestfriend for life. The bestfriend I usually see in the movies. Then when I graduated, I always prayed that if possible, my next partner will also be my bestfriend - partner and bestfriend forever.

Okay pass. I couldn't do this. I can only chat with my College friends and ask them what's up. I don't tell stories of myself to them anymore.

Step 3: Do Something

Watch movies, listen to music, read books, play video games. Haha! Good luck to me. I tend to be distracted and seems couldn't find the best book/movie/music to listen to.

Journaling intentionally is one example of something small that can be really helpful. 

Yes, this is what I always do. My mind tend to whirl around - too many thoughts to say. It's like there are lots of minions talking at the same time in my mind that as much as possible, I want to take notes of them.

I'll try finding good movies in Netflix.

Step 4: Work on Something or Learn a New Skill

I need to find new work. Since the start of the year, my work is getting boring. I need new challenges and they will be a good distractions. I can do OTs or weekend work.

Step 5: Work Out

Yep. I should not stop working out. When I'm down, I tend to cancel my gym time. But then, I should think that working out will give me a nice appearance. And maybe sooner or later, I can attract a more beautiful woman with my tight muscles. Lol!

Step 6: Go On Vacation

Yes I already have planned vacations until next year. The worse part, they are vacations for the two of us. Though I told her that we can still push the vacations together even as bestfriends, I am still not 100% sure of it. And I'm already ready to travel alone just in case she won't make it. Since she already broken up with me, I cannot offer her "me spending some of our trips on behalf of her" anymore. Maybe, I can say, "I'll treat you because I'm your bestfriend." But it looks weird in a way for a bestfriend to pay in all your trips, right? And it will offend her which I don't want to happen. She has pride and have a strong sense of independency which I like. And I don't want to crash any of that.

But let's see. 

Step 7: Take A Break

Yes. I don't want anyone to be a rebound. I had great adventures with my ex partner - ups and downs. Though I think it will take me 10 years before to finally move on, I should be optimistic that it will take less. And while I'm out of the dating scene, there are other things i need to do - get fucking rich! Haha! I'll take this opportunity to take big risks and explore the world. Then hopefully, find the things that will make me a millionaire then billionaire. When I become successful, that's the time I will enter the dating scene again. And I'm pretty sure that it will not be difficult anymore since I'm kind, faithful, honest, good looking, and wealthy! Lol!

Step 8: Change Your Life

I hide already the pictures of us. As for other stuff (e.g. clothes, books, pens, etc), I don't have sentiments on them. I don't pretty much care - I see them or not. Just the pictures of us together should be kept away.

On the other hand of changing my life, I should start learning my weaknesses and make them my strengths. Because I don't know when God will introduce me to the one woman He prepared for me. I need to give a nice first impression then. Hehe.

Get Rid of Your Ex

This is my challenge. How to ignore her social media by not unfriending her? Hm. Unfollow. Piece of cake! Haha! I believe that I'm already old enough and mature enough to not unfriend my exes - not unless they are a threat in any way or my future partner tell me to do so. 

New Job, New Friends

I don't have any friends!! Haha! Yes, I will find new job. My current work is getting boring.

Finally: 

"Those are my tips on how to get over a long-term relationship. Once again, not all of these will work for everyone. You have to choose which ones feel most natural to you. Maybe you don't want to get a new job, and that's fine. Maybe you really do want to be left alone, and that's okay too.

Just remember that all things heal in time. So, cheer up, because there really are plenty of fish in the sea. And I know it hurts now, but eventually you will look back at all of this and laugh."

"When my three-year relationship ended, I was devastated. It took me about two months to get over her, and an additional eight months to find a new girlfriend. But that's okay. You shouldn't feel ashamed about not having a girlfriend or boyfriend. Instead, use the opportunity to work on yourself. Make new friends, work on personal goals, and play some damn video games guys! It takes work to be happy and to get over that long-term relationship."

Wow! It only took you two months? -_- I had 6mos relationship and it took me two years! How about this 3yrs+ relationship? 14-15 years?! 0_0

But yes, I should learn from my mistakes. This 3yrs+ relationship, I learned lots of things, things I didn't have the opportunity to learn in my previous relationship (maybe because my previous one was just a young love). This is a very meaningful experience. All the lesson, I will keep them in my heart and mind so that when I finally meet my God's gift, there will be no more trial and error. Haha! And I was hoping that I will end up marrying her someday. 

Be positive! Entrust your future woman to God, Rove. ^_^

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I got an enjoyable time reading this article. ^_^