Never expect

As much as I wanted to trust people again, I couldn't. There's now a doubt. I used not to have this. But why do I feel uneasy trusting people again. I don't understand myself. What's wrong?

Who cares if one of the persons I used to look up to disappointed and betrayed me. Who cares if this is not the first time a close family member disappointed me not once but many times?

I think I just have to lower my expectations toward people. I can trust them but never expect highly about them. Never think that they're worthy not unless proven.

Alright. I just have to forgive myself and to forgive them. Then lower my expectations not to get hurt again.

Never expect.

#Realization

Great escape

I need an escape.

I wanna go to a high place. Place where I can breath fresh air and think. And think while havin my own time. Time to repress my chaotic mind.

I need an escape.

As much as I want to..

As much as I want to
- date and have my own lovelife
- get my own flat to practice independency
- go to all places I wanna pay a visit

I can't.. I just can't.. With the responsibilities I have. I need to set an example. I should be a role model. It would be lighter if I don't have pasaway na mga kapatid. But I have. I feel pressured with these responsibilities. Maybe this is why I can't leave the house for other country just not yet. What will happen when my parents are away and busy? I will be freakin worried. If only matitino mga kapatid ko, I won't have to worry for our parents, for Venice, for the household, for the family business, and for them. *sigh*

So help me God.. Please help us out.