Is there a material where I can know how she felt from da day she broke up with me till now? So that I'll know how to reconcile with her when I meet her one day.
Even though 3 years have already passed, she still has a small place in my heart. And for some reason, I feel that I still have a responsibility to her.
If my memory won't fail me, I promised her that I will take care of her forever (though we all know that forever is just a myth). But now that we're gone, the least that I can do is to find her a partner who will take care of her heart.
I know myself more than anyone. I am a loyal and faithful person. And I only like/love one person at a time.
She was my first serious relationship and first love. That's why even though I have a crush now, she's still kinda special. The only way to completely diminish this feeling is for her to have a new lover.
The moment I get to know that the person I like/love is now in a relationship, suddenly, all the feelings have gone. And the only thought that's left is, "Make sure that you won't hurt her, or else, I'll kill ya."
I also remember the phrase I told her. "When you reach the age of 30 and you're still single, I'm gonna marry you."
Though it's just thru a message and I was still immature back then, I can't forget this. I am person with one word. And I'm working really hard for this.
I know that it's impossible, especially when the feelings are not mutual. This is the main reason why I should find her a new partner (ASAP) that will love and take care of her dearly.
-LR
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