Wat da heck! Pagkamalaman pa kong kumikita ng bigtime.. -_- Wat I'm already paying monthly: my postpaid plan (around 2k), internet plan, and credit card. I still have a balance of around 9k. It's because of frequently use - plane tickets and groceries. Then she added, "Bayaran mo narin yung isa pang postpaid plan. Kaw na gumamit." Heck! It's my previous plan (500) that supposed to be given to her. "Ibuo mo nalang yang internet." After she upgraded the internet plan by 300 box. My budget to internet is only 1k. Heck! "Magloloan ako ng 250k, ikaw na magbayad ng monthly habang andito kapa. Around 13k lang yun. Yun nalang, wag kana magbigay sakin monthly." So pasalamat pa kong mas maliit lang ang gagastusin ko monthly? I am giving 10k monthly to her. I said to myself, "Sana mawala na ko agad."
Kahit pilitin ko magipon, hindi ko magagawa. It looks like she always wanted to say to me, "Live a boring life and give all your money to me." I'm just 22 years old. I didn't experience going out always when I was still attending school. When i go out, I spend cheaply and go to cheap places. Now that i'm already working, I thought I can now go to places I've never been before and experience the life I've never had before. But I think I can only do these while bearing the pain of being scolded always and the pain of spending for your mom.
She used to tell me when I was still a student, "Pag nagtatrabaho na kayo, hinding hindi kami hihingi ng papa mo." I pasted these words in my mind not until she forcefully asked for money. If I don't give her once, a long essay she made will be followed.
Wat da heck! She's a woman without a word. Since a little kid, I was always telling myself that "I am a person with one word." Nakonsyensya nga ko nung highschool when I told my classmate I'm going to give her the same bag as a gift. She was mesmerized by my green bag. But ngayon, though I can still count in my fingers, marami na kong nabitawan na salita sa ibang tao - the hopes I destroyed. Why hopes? My mom is fond of giving hopeful words samin kahit nung mga bata pa kami. Eh kami namang mga bata, utuuto. Umaasa parin kahit ilan beses na napako mga pangako samin. This is the reason, as much as possible, I don't want to be my mom. I don't want to destroy the hopes of other people. And also the reason I prefer actions than words.
Going back sa gastusin. If the loan will be approved, I'm going to spend around 17k for the loan+internet+postpaid alone. If may balance pa ko sa credit line nun, 3k na sa kanya. Then in the end, wala mapupunta sa savings account ko. *bow* Great! Kill myself now. -_-
The plan of taking a GMAT? It's kinda impossible now. Maybe after two (2) years pa ko makakapagipon. So, makokompleto ko pa yung loan. *Bow* Kill myself now!!!
Take note, I have upcoming trips this year. ElNido this Mar30. For sure, ako gagastos kahit kasama ko nanay ko. SG-KL on June. It's a backpackers adventure. KK-BR on Aug. A trip wid mom. Gastos ko ulit. PP on Nov. Outing wid team. Hindi lang tong mga trips, birthday pa ng bunso kon kapatid. She said, hati daw kami. 10k daw sakin. Watdaheck!!! Nagbirthday nga ko nun, di umabot sa 2k gastos dahil sponsored ng lola ko. Bale all in all, 3-4k lang. Heck!! Kill myself now really!!! Susunod na ko sa nagpakamatay na UP student. Konti nalang. Konting konti nalang talaga,, susunod na talaga ko. *sigh*
So help me God and Christ...
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