Trying not to contact you since you're the one who blocked and left me. Well, there are still days I thought of you. Pero Universe keeps on reminding me not to chase you and never push myself to anyone again.

I was devastated when you suddenly disappeared. I just wanted to tell you that it's not difficult to love you (like I always tell you), one just need to learn how. I should have not pressured you. Instead, I should have went with the flow, in your own speed or phasing. When you were gone, I realized that I was anxiously attached to you.

I am doing my best to heal from all the pain. Maybe in another world, we're still together. I've loved you more than you know.

P.S. This is not a new email address. It's my email address since I was 14yrs old. I don't want you think that I am stalking you that's why I didn't create any SocMed account/s anymore just to message you. I am respecting your privacy.

Supposedly Bday Gift to Anj

You know, the bag I bought last September as my supposedly bday gift for you, is still in the cabinet. Don't know what to do with it. 😅 I don't have anyone to give it to. Dunno. Let's see.

Thoughts for the day

I know hindi pa ko 100% got over kay Anj. Pero I know I'm in the process of moving on. I've already accepted everything - completed na yung chapter ng buhay namin sa isa't isa. Accepted ko na na hindi lahat ay over my control. Sinusuko ko na lahat kay God at sa Universe lahat ng plans and desires of my heart and mind. I should start healing myself and loving myself more. I should take care of myself the way I did 10-15yrs ago.

Kelangan ko ayusin financials ko para magkaroon ako ng financial freedom at magtrravel travel nalang. 😄

So help me God! In Jesus name, amen!

To the last woman I thought will be my wife

I didn't care about your past.
I did want to be your present and future.
I know we both had faults but you let go too early. I chose you everyday and you seldom chose me, I know.
I did prayed for you to God and the Universe to be my future wife. But I guess we're not really meant to be.
Anyway, I will continually pray that we'll end up with our person eventually. Our person who will bring out the best in us and whom we'll choose everyday no matter how hard life is.

I loved you Angela Jaso Hapin. May we find peace and happiness in God's grace.

Goodbye my Padaba

I'm sorry Padaba.
If only I have known that this will happen, I should have restrained myself. And waited for the day we'll meet in person before I discuss with you the difficult topics. 😔
I have failed. We both failed, we both know.
I have forgiven myself. Hope you'll forgive yourself too.
I did prayed to God and the Universe if they can give you to me as my wife. But I guess, we're not really meant to be. 😔
In case we'll meet again, hope we've both grown to be better partners.
Thank you for everything. You always have a special place in my heart. I love you. さようなら。

As of Oct 20, amen!

Na-accept ko narin naman lahat. Time to move on. Na-inlove lang naman ako kay Anj dahil sa height nya at sa background/past nya. I thought sya na yung pakakasalanan ko at have family with in the future. Pero avoidant character talaga sya. If willing lang sana sya to work out our relationship and if still chooses me everyday just like how I choose her, I will make sure that we'll grow together.
Pero past is past. I think it's God plan in order to save me, to save my heart. I'll just go with the flow from now. I need to make my heart get better after 6mos or 1year.

My goal right now is to return home due to my heart health. I need enough money to renovate the room where I'll live. Will probably loan from bank. Bahala na kung lumaki utang. 😅 God will provide.

Tama na

Quota na. Tama na Rove. Enough is enough.
Be with people who wants to be with you.

Tigilan mo na si Anj. Mag move on kana.

I dunno. God know it all.

I think God is giving me a steak. I'll check first. I'll just have to enjoy our casual conversations for now. I hope it would be a good connection like friendships or business partners, if not romantic relationship. Let's see. I'll just have to think of now.

About Anj? Na-ah. Let her. I know she's hurting. But it's not a ticket for her to curse me repeatedly. I pity her though. I loved her. But now, I lost the respect. And the love? Probably little by little. I will just pray over her. May she find you God as her shepherd as she looks like a lost sheep.

God, let me see things more clearly day by the day. And give up on things that are out of my control. Please take care of my heart and mind; and let me see things in a clearer perspective. In Jesus name, amen!

Forget about her

She disrespected you in the first place. Don't chase her. She's been ignoring you even she knows that you sent her messages in Tiktok and SMS. She blocked you from everywhere. It's clear sign that she doesn't love you anymore. Leave her alone. Move on. Forget about her.

ENOUGH ROVE

I saw her profile in one of the dating apps.

1st reaction? なんで。

2nd reaction, "Let her be".

Enough Rove. Enough. Don't punish yourself anymore. Stop this madness! You deserve better. Don't fantasize someone who has already shown her true self to you.

Love is patient, Love is kind

At the end of the day, magisa na naman ako.
Walang kausap. 😅
2 nights in a row na walang kausap.
Sanay na dapat ako kasi ganito lang naman din buhay ko nung nag aaral ako, loner sa own room ko.
Pinagkaiba lang, buong bahay na ako loner. 😅

Pede ko naman daldalin si God at si Christ. Di nga lang sila sumasagot pero alam ko naririnig nila ako.

Hiling ko lang ngayon, makilala ko na yung babaeng pinagdadasal ko ilang taon na. Yung babaeng pakakasalan ko. Yung magkakapamilya ako. Yung dinestined sakin ng Universe at ni God.

Sa ngayon, need ko lang mag heal at mag move on. Para di ko mabitbit sa next relationship ko yung pain ng mga past relationships ko. At maiwasan ko na matrigger ako sakaling magkaron kami ng disagreements.

Thank you God for still keeping me alive. I love you so much.

Ktnxbye

She wasn't there when you needed her the most. She's always running away or blocking you when you are in disagreements.

She doesn't deserve you Rove.
Don't chase her. It's better to be hurt now then be happy later, than happy now then suffer later.

Fix yourself. Rise again.
It's part of life. To love someone then get hurt.
The most important thing is that we move on. We don't stop living.

Just cry it out now. Your heart will soon heal. Just pray for His healing and guidance.

In Jesus name, Amen!

Someday, my destined wife will arrive

Makakatagpo ka rin ng tao na mamahalin at ttratuhin ka ng tama.
Taong takot mawala ka.
Taong kahit ano pa pag aaway nyo, di ka iiwan.
Just believe in the Universe. God and the Universe are preparing that right person.
"I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength."
You'll soon find your wife. The woman who will never give up on you, no matter what.
Woman who will show clearly their intentions to you. Woman who will show their love to you thru actions.
Soon I will meet you. For now, I just need to fix myself.

Ktnxbye

Sayang oras ko sayo. Di ka pala seryoso sakin.
Tigilan na natin tong kalokohan na to. Pagod na ko makipaglaro sayo Angellah.

Ayaw ko na. Ktnxbye. I will no longer chase emotionally unavailable people like you. Pagod na ko.

It hurts

I miss her bad. But now, I have to let her go. I love her so much. Maybe if I truly love her, I have to let her go. Don't bother her anymore.

My God, my everthing

I commit everything to you my God.

Family problems, my financial problems, my mental issues, my lovelife, etc. All of them, I lift them up to you oh God. I'm raising my white flag already. Can't do it without You and Jesus Christ.

I commit to you my heart, my mind, and my life. Please help me have self control and choose myself this time. Let go of the people and things that are hurting and weighing me down. I only need you God and Christ, no one else. Your love is perfect. Please hold me closely and hug me tightly my God. Please direct me to the right path. I love you so much!

In Jesus name, amen!

Time to move on

I'll have my hair cut tomorrow. Back to the short hair I used to have.

Nagmahal lang naman ako ng totoo. Ngayon lang ulit ako nagmahal ng sobra, ginanito pa ko. Haaay. Pero no regrets. I know I've done my best.

I told her almost everyday how much I loved her. I became so vulnerable to her and became honest. I couldn't even lie to her 'cause I was submissive to her. I even followed almost all of her wants even it sometimes hurt me. I say 'sorry' first even it's her fault sometimes.

Probably, people will reject you if you are too good to be true. 🥲 Probably, I was loving the wrong person. We all know that if we became the right person to the one we love, s/he also become the right person for you too.

I think I've already told her everything what my heart and mind feel. All I gotta do is improve myself for the better, whether she'll come back or not.

God please be with me. Please heal my broken heart and mind. Your love is enough to fill me as I am like an empty cup right now.

She ended it

It's official. Wala na kami. May 29, nakipagbreak na sya. 9mos lang tinagal namin.

Time to move on. Time to self love. Time to improve myself for the better.

So help me God.
I love you God.

Time to let go

She has her way on turning tides. I need to let her go. I should learn that I'll never be too much to the right person. And I should not chase anymore.

I am going through something in life, and she's not there when I needed her the most. Need to let go.

I believe God and the Universe will introduce to me my person in the very unexpected way. Just have to give her space in my life. I'll wait for you my future wife. For now, I will improve myself. I will heal. So that in the future, I will be able to take care of you. And hopefully, when I fall short, you'll be there to support me.

In Jesus name, amen!

Boundary has stepped over

Tigilan na natin tong kalokohan nating to.

You think I'm a liar? You don't trust me? Why stay?

I trust you. But the fact that you always make excuses for every mistakes/misses you commit, makes me wonder if you are still true to me. Paulit ulit nalang. You don't even know how to say 'sorry'. Then you always gaslight me pag may misses ka at ibabalik mo sakin until ako na magsosorry.

Tigilan na natin to. Ayaw ko na. You always make feel worthless.

Sent from my iPhone

Big Lesson in Rel

Let her be

May mga relationships na hindi dapat pinipilit.
Pag pinipilit, hindi magiging maganda ang ending. Hindi kayo magiging masaya.
Sa relationships, need both effort. Pero kung isa lang nag eeffort, hindi balance. Eventually, mapapagod ang isa.

Ma-aadvise ko lang sayo Rove. Take time. Hangga't di pa kayo married or living together, get to know your partner kung kaya mo ba pakisamahan hanggang pagtanda. Get to know yourself kung ganyan klaseng treatment or kind of relationship ang gusto mo. Sa ngayon, wala ka dapat ipilit. Let it flow. Kung mag effort, g. Kung wala pakialam, g. Hayaan mo nalang.

Kung san sya masaya, suportanta sya. God will never leave you nor forsake you. He'll give you the best woman and partner you deserve to be with until the end of time.

Should start choosing myself

I don't know.
Ba't pa ko nagtatagal.
Lagi ko naman sya pinipili. Pero ramdam ko na option nya lang ako.
Magsesettle ba ko sa ganito? Kontento naba ko sa ganitong treatment sakin?
I would like to be treated as priority too.
Kung di nya kaya gawin yun, alam kong meron pang iba dyan na mamahalin ako sa way na gusto ko mahalin ako.
I should not settle for less.

Nagbigay na ko ng deadline sa sarili ko. Sabi ko, 6 months I will do everything. Pero pag wala parin, hahayaan ko na lahat mag drain down. Yung effort at energy ko ay ipapantay ko na sa kung ano ang ibibigay nya sakin.
I should start choosing myself.
I should start loving myself completely.
At hindi nagbebeg si Rove ng attention kahit kanino.
Let her go.
The person who will choose you will soon find you. And you will know eventually kung sino deserve ng time and effort mo.

God will not leave you. God will give you the woman of your life, the one you'll marry and be with till death. Don't worry. Trust Him in all your ways and acknowledge him.

Don’t push anything

Why people cheat?
Maybe because their partners don't have time for them?
I will not cheat, I'll just go out with a friend who can spend time with me instead.

I told myself many times, I should not chase. I should not waste my time chasing unavailable people. I should not care at all.

I'm not married yet. I still have time to change my mind. I still have time to let go my current relationship that doesn't give me any benefit.

Anyway, let it go. Shrug it off.

God, please heal my heart

Okay. Nakipaghiwalay na sya. I guess it's God's will narin. I just have to accept it and move on.
It was short but it was nice.
Hoping na makilala ko na talaga yung tamang babae para sakin.

Let Your will Thy be done.

God, please heal my heart.

Let Your will thy be done

Baka break na nga talaga kami? Di nya sinasagot call ko at di nya siniseen messages ko since yesterday morning. Haaay. Well. Baka nga hindi sya para sakin.

The reality is, she's a walking red flag. The reality is, she doesn't want to be in commitment with you. The reality is, she's emotionally unavailable. It's not okay but what can I do?

Let go. Let His will thy be done.
What's meant to be will always be yours.

Thank you God. I love you.

Remember Rove, always remember!

Sent from my iPhone

I deserve better

Nasabi ko na lahat ng gusto ko sabihin.
Wala na ko dapat patunayan pa.
I'm tired already.
I rest my case.

Ayaw ko na makipagusap sa taong bato.
I deserve someone who's better.
Magpapakayaman nalang muna ko. 😏

5th month breakup

Nakipag break narin sya sakin.

I ask her kung pede ba namin pagusapan at ayusin. Pero di sya sumagot.

Ano gagawin ko? Ayaw na nya sakin? Ayaw ko na maulit yung nangyari sa past na pinagpilitan ko sarili ko sa taong ayaw na talaga sakin.

Tama na Rove. Let go. Let it go~ Let it go~

If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be

Di ko alam kung tama pa tong ginagawa ko.
Na mag stay sa taong ayaw sakin.

Universe, God, is it a sign na dapat tumigil na ko? Wag ko na ipaglaban pa?

I'll sleep tonight. Sana sa dreams ko, tell me clearly if I'll just let her go na.

Pabayaan ko na siguro sya? Wag ko na sya kulitin or istorbohin? God, please tell me directly.

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

Room for the right person

Universe, nilet go ko na sya para magkaroom sa buhay ko para sa tamang tao. 🥹
Masakit pero kelangan ilet go. Para dumating ang tamang tao. Hindi na ko mageeffort sa kanya. Titigilan ko na lahat ng pag eeffort ko. Sa Feb, pag wala nagbago, makikipag break na ko. Pagod narin kasi ko. 🥲

Nawa'y ibigay nyo na sakin yung tama tao. Yung pipiliin ako at magiging priority din ako.

Enough is enough

I think I'd rather be single than to be with someone who never makes an effort to see me.

Stay single
Until you meet someone who values clarity over confusion…
Who chooses honesty even when it's hard…
And sees love as partnership…
Not a power struggle.

I guess it's time to listen to the Universe. The Universe has been telling to stop. Enough of loving emotionally unavailable people.

Universe, have you telling me that it's not A the one for me? Have you telling me that the right person for me is wanting to enter my life but because I am currently committed to someone else, this person is unable to introduce herself to me?

Alright, guess I should now stop.
I will then stop making an effort. While doing this, I am already moving on. Then A will be the one to break up with me. Guess that's fair. I will then let our relationship go to drain. Enough is enough.

Sent from my iPhone