Tired of explaining myself

I looked crazy. Why do I have to explain my side and my feelings. As if I am still hiding anything from her.

For playing with my heart - push and pull, why do I still need to explain to her? As if she really cares about my feelings and confused mind.

It was very easy for her to leave me and I'm making it also easy for her to return to me anytime she wants. Am I just a toy? I do deserve some answers. I do deserve some respect as a person.

I've learned that I should not stop anyone from leaving me.

I should stop looking for a partner. I just need to do what I gotta do - be successful and get rich! Till then God will give me His gift - my future wife. I just have to trust His process. So stop pushing yourself Rove to someone who doesn’t even value you. When people leave your life, let them leave. Only people that stay deserve your love and care. People that you don’t have to beg. You are not created to beg anyone, Rove. 

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Yep, I was created for greater things! Humans are frail, I can’t trust them. I lay my plans on you God. Please rule my life. Heal my heart and mind. I love you. Thank you.