No more bare minimum

Anj is on and off. It looks like she's really doing what she said "wag mo na ko ichat or icall". She's really cutting all comms then ghosting me. She has until 11pm tonight to talk to me, tell me what she really feels and thinks, and decide what are we gonna do moving forward. If she'll not respond till 11pm, I will treat it as she's really ghosting me. Then I will stop messaging her. I don't deserve bare minimum communication and effort.

Rove will put thyself first. Mental health first.

I was ghosted! 😆

She might have already ghosting me since the day she arrived in Metro Manila. It's just I didn't know the signs or clues. Googled it and they all fit in the descriptions.

5 mos was nice

I already gave Anj a deadline: 72hrs, until tomorrow 11pm. If she still hasn't replied yet till then, it means she already ghosted me. I have to start moving on. 5mos was short but it was a very nice experience. I was able to do everything I should have done in my past relationships. I've done many first times which I can treat as Intro or practice for something big coming into my life.

I deserve a woman who is kind, emotionally available, loyal, faithful, will not leave me overthinking, knows how to cook, knows how to budget, smart, beautiful and sexy inside and out. I pray for that woman who I'll be with for the rest of my life. This is my prayer in case God doesn't want to answer my prayers about having Anj to be my forever partner/wife.

So help me God. Amen!

A break from my woman

Few days away from her make me already miss her. But she to me? I don't know if there was ever a time she missed me.

I'm gonna make this vacation be a break from her. A time to detach from her. A time to start moving on from her. So that in case she'll break up with me, it won't hurt that much.

God, I prayed for her for months. And I am still praying that she'll be the woman I'll be with till end of time. I am deeply in love with her. Hope that's she's also in love with me. Amen!

My padaba on my bday

Even though you forgot my birthday, it's okay. I love you. You inspire me to improve myself and be a better me. I want to heal from my anxiety and depression as I want to be with you until the end of our time. I might don't get the all the attention on a daily basis but I understand your situation. I love you. I'll never stop telling you how much I love you. I am willing to fight for you and defend our love to your mom. I'll get her approval in the future. For now, I have to improve myself and be the best person you deserve.

My padaba

Happy birthday self 🥳

Exit Plan

After 4th monthsary, if Anj will not change how the way she treats me or our relationship, I'll stop sending flowers - fresh or dried. I'll stop sending customized cards. I'll stop initiating saying "I love you". I'll stop doing all the work. I'll start moving on. Then when I've already moved on, I'll break up with her. I don't deserve this kind of attention. I deserve someone who will give the same energy as I give. That's the kind of wife I want to have in the future. But, in case we'll break up, I'll stay single for the next long years. I'd rather have multiple flings and never commit anymore. I will not involve my heart anymore. I'm done with real dating. It's difficult to be a human being.

Relationship that doesn’t look like one

We've been in a relationship for less than 2 months now. And it's still difficult to ask her out. Her always excuse? Too lazy to go out. I don't know if this is the real reason or there's a deeper reason behind of her doesn't want to see me even atleast once a week. She even stopped saying "I love you" to me.

Anyway, let's see what will happen to our relationship, whether it will last long or not. I don't want to expect as I don't want to get hurt in the end.

I'll just make myself busy. I'll travel/go out every weekend then make myself busy with work and my furbabies during weekdays.

Kayo na po bahala God samin ng padaba ko. I love her but if there's no time for each other or I couldn't feel her love or affection anymore, I don't know till when we'll last. For now, I'll let her be. I'll stop initiating or doing efforts for now. I'll put myself first. If ever she doesn't love me anymore, I trust her that she'll tell it to me.

Let Your will thy be done.